Filed under: Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Communication Strategy, Crap Products In History, Culture, ECommerce, Jill, Kickstarter, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Technology
Over the years I’ve bought a lot on Kickstarter.
I say bought … but the reality is there’s a shitload of stuff I never received.
And then there’s the stuff that I did get, that I wish I hadn’t.
That said, I have to acknowledge their unprecedented ability to hype the mundane up to fever pitch. It really is quite extraordinary, given I’ve gone back time and time again, despite enduring endless indifferent experiences.
But maybe I’m over that now.
Or maybe they’re just running out of ‘hype fuel’ because recently I saw something that made me laugh out loud rather than reach for my credit card.
To be honest, it’s been coming …
First there was the watch that claimed to be rebel engineering.
Then the phone attachment that supposedly gave you something fast-approaching infinite zoom.
But now they have entered a new world of insanity, even though I acknowledge this one is arguably much more sensible than either of those ‘trophies of stupidity’.
It’s this …
Yep, a portable dishwasher.
Does anyone ever need a portable dishwasher?
I understand a small dishwasher, but a portable one?
My gut would say no, but I know for a fact there’s some people [read: my wife] who hates the idea of washing dishes so much, she would probably see this as an act of humanity.
So let’s say I accept there may be an audience out there for a micro, portable dishwasher.
However what I cannot accept is – based on the photo they have used – there’s an audience who would want to buy a micro, portable dishwasher to then take to their local pub. More importantly, I don’t know why anyone would need to take a micro, portable dishwasher to their local pub unless they purposely forget their watch/purse/phone and need to work off the drinks and underwhelming bar snacks they consumed.
But the way the Kickstarter folk have written the headline seems to suggest they think it may be the next craze. The new ‘dog in a handbag’ or overpriced, oversized water bottle. Something you take with you at all times to show your peers your ‘status’ or in case you fancy washing your cup, saucer or – judging by the size of the machine – spork.
But it gets worse, because they then say ‘saving you time to make more joy’.
What the absolute fuck?!
Apart from that being literally the laziest ‘selling proposition’ in the known universe, I’ll tell you what saves you more time to make more joy … going to the local fucking pub to eat so you don’t have any washing up to do.
What the hell are Kickstarter thinking?
Are they thinking?
Do they care anymore.
Well, as much as I’d like to say ‘no, they’re not’ … it seems that accusation should be pointed at their customers rather than them, because the company behind the ‘social dishwasher’ have raised $1,186,891,682 from Kickstarter projects.
$1,186,891,682!!!
OK, so that is over 4367 products, but still, that’s disturbingly impressive.
But not as impressive as me being able to show Jill this news and look fiscally responsible in comparison to the tens of thousands of people who have dropped their cash on shit like this.
And this is coming from someone who has bough robot balls, a shitload of robot dogs and a windmill.
Result!!!
So a huge thank you to Kickstarter and Jellop Products … you may be exploiting the fuck out of the stupid, but you’ve made me realise I’m less stupid than I feared.
Systems.
Processes.
Proprietary Tools.
Innovation ecosystems.
Focus Groups.
Bot-driven modelling.
AI driven insights.
Insights.
Effectiveness frameworks.
Our industry loves to bang on about the power of all this stuff and yet – sadly – the US election result shows most of them don’t work.
Or they don’t know how to actually use them. At least in terms of identifying the issues, the momentum, the considerations of the people they claim to know so much about.
Of course, it’s not just them who are lost in their own tunnel vision.
There are the opinion pollsters, political experts, podcasters and, let’s not forget, the Democrats … who sat on their hands for 8 years and then arrogantly thought they could turn it all around in a few months.
I wanted Kamala to win, but It was all so horribly inevitable that Trump would triumph.
Or it was inevitable if you opened your eyes rather than saw the world through your blinkers.
For me, nothing sums up the issue more than these images.
First this.
Then this.
And finally, this.
This last one is particularly telling because of the uncomfortable truth it reveals.
An uncomfortable truth that has been there to see for a long time if we stopped with our own prejudices against Trump supporters and looked at our own behaviours through others eyes.
You see I suspect Trumps voters know he is a hypocrite and a liar.
I also suspect they know he knows he is too.
But it’s much easier for them to trust a person who they see as openly and obviously lying than someone they believe is trying to hide their lies.
For them, Kamala can’t possibly be telling the truth when she is presenting herself – and the Democrats – as ‘goodie two shoes’.
Not just because they don’t like her, but because they believe no one can live up to that level of integrity.
They’re not wrong … especially where politics is concerned … which means they trust open liars more than who they perceive as secret liars.
That’s where society is right now.
That’s where politics is.
Which reminds me of how someone once described the difference between the Republicans and Democrats.
“Republicans want to win, Democrats want to be right”.
People like winners more than they like know-it-all’s.
If a 54-year-old, English man in New Zealand knows that … why don’t the Democrats?
Why don’t the experts?
Why don’t the systems?
Not because they’re stupid – far from it – but maybe because they chose to be deliberately blind.
Choosing to ignore the bits that make them question their own complicity.
Their own prejudices, hypocrisies, inconsistencies.
I hope the Democrats learn from this. To grow and evolve. To win in the future.
But then I hope my industry also learns from this.
I fear not though.
Preferring to carry on as before so as to not have to face the issues and behaviour they could or should do better.
Acting with the sort of arrogance we accuse Trump and his supporters of having.
They say it’s only a mistake if you don’t learn from failure … well, we failed.
Time to learn from our mistakes.
Time to open our eyes and ears rather than rely on the self-serving systems and processes we developed and rely on to make us feel better about who we are and what we know.
Filed under: Comment
Did you write a successful novel the first time you picked up a pen?
Did you achieve a World Record time the first time you went for a run?
Did you win an Oscar the first time you took a video with your phone?
Without wishing to be presumptuous, I’m guessing the answer is a big fat no … and yet it seems that is what clients expect to buy any new idea.
To make matters more complicated, you have to be able to prove it BEFORE they do it … because if there’s any element of doubt, then they’ll say it’s all off.
Now I understand marketing is important and also very, very expensive – so you can’t take the piss – but I tell you what else costs a lot of money: doing the same bland stuff you – and your competition – have always done and expecting to achieve something special.
But this is where we increasingly find ourselves …
The dismissal of anything unknown or that has the potential of a flaw or holds the potential of alienating anyone – even if they’re people who would never consider you in the first place – while all the time talking in soundbites of ‘wanting to be great’, wanting to ‘disrupt the market’, wanting to ‘make something iconic’.
Forget great is achieved through the lessons of failure.
Forget great is decided as much by the audience as the creators.
Forget great is about taking a leap rather than a small step forward.
Forget great is more cost effective than spending millions on blanket media.
We’re now in a world where the industry is trying to redefine the rules for success through a process that is designed to create average … in the middle … to fit in, rather than stand out.
And that would be OK if we were honest about it, but no one is.
We have gurus selling their processes as if they’re rockets rather than insurance policies.
We have companies pushing optimization as a liberator rather than an efficiency generator.
We have people claiming marketing practice is an MBA when it’s very good ‘Marketing-101’.
We have brands thinking process complicity is a differentiator when it’s a duplicator.
We have strategists believing popularity is a sign of their smarts rather than superficiality.
We’re literally proving the Emperor’s New Clothes is more documentary than children’s story … and yet we continue to favour those who talk about their systems, models, processes regardless of the fact many of them have never, ever made anything good. I don’t mean that from a subjective perspective, I mean it in terms of many of the people with the loudest voice and opinions have literally not made a single thing.
Zilch.
Nada.
Zero.
But that’s where we’re at these days … the land of bonkers beliefs.
Where companies talk about the importance of ‘strategy’, then do the absolute opposite when there’s a chance to make more – or quick – profit. Where organisations talk about the importance of employees and loyalty, then treat them like disposable commodities when it suits their needs. Where marketing departments talk about forward planning, then keep briefing ‘sprints’ to lots of agencies to cover their lack of forward planning. Where research agencies talk about understanding customers, then invest in bots to ‘replicate’ human responses so they don’t not have to incur the cost of actually going out to ‘understand people’. Where media agencies talk about their expertise in reaching people, then sign contracts with big media companies that guarantee how much they will spend with them. Where ad agencies talk about valuing the creative product, then undermine the process to reach a figure the procurement department likes. Where brand consultants talk about brand experience, then sell processes designed to deliver ‘low-level consistency’ rather than seminal interactions. Where everyone goes on about valuing craft, then act like they know how to do the job better than a professional despite literally never having done that job in their life. Where CEO’s talk about responsibilities, then outsource their decisions to Management Consultancies. Where HR Departments talk about employee protection, then get rid of anyone who has the slightest difference of opinion. Where this list could literally go on for years because hypocrisy is continually being packaged to claim professional consistency.
Am I being extreme?
Yeah. But I’m also not being unrealistic.
We all know that. And yet so many keep doing it. Embracing an attitude of ‘deliberate ignorance’ to fulfill whatever it is they need or want. Be it job security, managing up or maintaining the illusion of power so you can keep reaping the rewards of the job that pays you more than you deserve or would ever get from somewhere else.
And while I understand why some have to do it, many others choose to … gaslighting others to hide their selfish complicity.
Which is why I love both images in this post.
A reminder that while systems, processes and practices have their place and role – they’re tools, not weapons – and anyone who blindly uses them for the latter … regardless of situation or circumstance, especially if they have nothing to show for it, other than arrogant egotistical behaviour … then maybe that highlights that rather than be the bastion of solution, they’re the fucking problem.
Or said another way …
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Context, Corporate Evil, Creativity, Culture, Embarrassing Moments, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Mediocrity, Perspective, Point Of View
I don’t struggle for things that fuck me off, but what is currently top of the charts on my personal ‘shit parade’ is people who talk in definitive and absolute terms.
Actually I need to be more specific. I mean the people who talk in definitive and absolute terms that blatantly attempt to elevate their position by putting others down via some pseudo-intellectual or utterly subjective horseshit.
It’s happening more and more, especially on – surprise, surprise – Linkedin.
And while I’m all about having a point-of-view, it only has value if you have an appreciation of what others think or do. So you have some real context to evaluate your viewpoint. And it would be even better if you also had some actual experience in the area – or on the issue – you’re being condescending about. Not ‘in theory’. Not ‘by association’. Not some ‘short-term, low-level’ employment experience from 20 years ago. Actual experience. So – you know – you can show you have an actual idea what the fuck you’re talking about, including what it takes to actually make these things happen and who is complicit when it doesn’t on an on-going basis.
Because nothing screams egotistical, blinkered, privileged, arrogant asshole – desperate-for-attention-or-notoriety – than saying “This is shit as is anyone who disagrees with me”.
Topped off by then ignoring, deleting or blocking anyone who dares challenge their view, even if they are well placed to have a perspective and are expressing it with respect and politeness.
It’s like they’re the bastard love child of Andrew Tate and a shock-jock talkback radio host. Immediately dismissing anything that doesn’t suit their narrative but throwing praise on anyone or anything that acknowledges it. Even better if it specifically acknowledges them. By name.
The thing is, these people have smarts. They’re not stupid. But their ego refuses to accept or acknowledge any other possible way of thinking or working. So when someone or something achieves a level of success that sustainably outstrips their approach, they either attack or try to claim some sort of ownership of the success. A bit like all those people who suddenly updated their Linkedin profiles to say they were NFT/Metaverse/AI experts.
It’s pretty incredible to be honest.
Which is why I find it kinda-ironic some of the worst offenders seem to be those who reside – or are associated with – academia. Not all of course, just the ones who seem to think that because they’re highly qualified in one area, they are qualified to speak about all areas.
Which is why, whenever I see these men [and it’s typically men] peacocking on social media, it reminds me of Lucille Ball’s brilliant quote. A quote I made into a sticker that I’ve given to members of my planning teams for decades.
A sticker permanently stuck on the front of my laptop …
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Agency Culture, Apathy, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Comment, Complicity, Corporate Evil, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Mediocrity, Relevance, Reputation, Research, Resonance, Respect
This is a month or so old, but I am finding it impossible to get out of my mind.
Like a car crash. Which this is.
Have a look at this.
What you’re seeing is part of a research report a company put out recently in NZ.
Look at it. Look!
This is where a bunch of ‘for profit’ research companies are these days … spouting ambiguous rubbish that [I assume] they believe is insight gold.
What makes it worse is some companies will no doubt have read this … been amazed by it … and then paid them handsomely for more of this … resulting in everyone [and I mean everyone, bar the company flogging it] losing.
Not just losing in the present, but in the future.
Which begs the question, how bad/ignorant/blinkered/out-of-touch are some organisations that they’re ‘informed’ by this? Worse … how bad/ignorant/blinkered/out-of-touch are some organisations that they’re satisfied with this level of superficiality?
For me, this sort of thing is an act of social criminality.
Actually, that’s not harsh enough, it’s an act of commercial criminality.
And the reason people are getting away with it is because too many companies have leadership who value ‘scalable convenient answers’ rather than truth, context and real commercial understanding. Only wanting news that paints them and their plans in the most positive light, regardless of what the reality may be. In other words, they seek ‘information’ that feeds and/or reinforces their God-complex … and far too many companies are happy to oblige because it’s an extremely profitable business approach for them.
But even this isn’t enough for some, with many now aspiring to become their clients strategic consultancy … meaning the work they do is as much about their future as their clients … and that’s why I’m so grateful for the researchers and research companies who believe in the craft, role and truth of the discipline.
The people who want to reveal rather than package-up.
Who see people as more than just walking wallets.
Who understand nuance rather than the optimisisation of efficiency
[to maximise their own profitability].
Who look for the why, not just the what.
Who are more interesting in exploring truth than flogging their ‘proprietary system’ … which more often than not, involves using bots and AI that are – to paraphrase Top Gun – are writing cheques reality can’t cash.
In other words, I’m grateful for people/companies like Ruby Pseudo, ON ROAD and a few others who play up to a standard not down to a convenience.
Research is important as hell, but only if it’s good research and there’s far too much out there being peddled that falls far short of that standard. And that’s why the discipline – and us, as an industry as a whole – need to expect more, demand more and most importantly, respect real stuff more. Because witnessing mediocrity is one thing, but when we let it undermine what we do – and can do – is another thing altogether.