Filed under: America, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Culture, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Jill, LaLaLand, My Fatherhood, Otis, Parents
I recently was in LA for work.
Being a sentimental sod, I couldn’t help find the time to go visit some of the places that became so important to me – and us – when we lived there.
Hell, I even went to the house of the man who bought my car just so I could see it again.
But of all the places I’ve revisited in LA, visiting Otis’ preschool is the one that made me the most emotional.
This is a place he loved.
Where he met his beloved Elodie.
Where his Mum connected to people who will be life long friends.
Where they were both made to feel they mattered from the second they arrived.
Leaving LA was hard. Not for professional reasons, but for personal.
Yes I was sad to leave people I’d met who had grown to become very important to me, but hardest was taking my wife and son away from a place they had thrived in.
Even though we were only there for approx 18 months, we wanted Otis to always know there was a time this was his home … that leaving didn’t mean he’d disappeared. So we wanted to do a few things for the school of which one of them was ask if we could donate a park bench in Otis’ name, so generations of future kids could play on it and – in some way – get to know the little boy who loved that place so much over 2017/18.
By pure chance, when I was driving past the school – it was a Saturday – I saw they had an event on, so being a cheeky sod, I went in hoping they’d let me see the bench we made.
They welcomed me with absolute open arms and as they let me see the seat we left for Otis, I realized – for the first time – that I’d also left a bit of myself here as well.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Context, Daddyhood, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Fatherhood, Holiday, Jill, My Fatherhood, Otis, Relationships, Resonance
Well this is the last post for another week except this time I’m not going away for business, I’m going away with the family for a holiday.
Believe it or not, this is the first family holiday we’ve had in almost 3 years.
Part of that is because we have moved countries twice in the last 3 years … the other part is that when we lived in Manhattan Beach, it felt like we were on holiday whenever we were together.
So this weekend we all go – including Rosie the cat – to a farm for a week.
If I’m honest, I never ever dreamed of going to stay at a farm for a holiday.
Only staying in a tent would be worse.
But whether it’s because I’ve been on a plane so much over the past 6 months or whether it’s because I’m a Dad to a kid who absolutely loves animals … I’m genuinely looking forward to it.
Evolving opinions are a wonderful thing.
While we might think our points of view on life remain fairly static, I love that they can grow or shift.
One of the reasons I’ve kept this blog up for so long is that it’s a reference point for how I have looked at the World over time. Looking back at some old posts reveal how much my opinion on certain subjects has changed.
I love that.
It means an old dog can be taught some new tricks.
Maybe this is because having lived in so many different countries, I’ve always had to be open to how things work … but whatever the reason, I’m happy I’m going to be spending a week feeding cows even if a version of me from the past would rather be a Derby County supporter.
See you in a week.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Culture, Daddyhood, Diversity, Education, Emotion, Empathy, England, Family, Fatherhood, Happiness, Innocence, Insight, Jill, My Fatherhood, Otis, Parents, Prejudice, Resonance, Standards
I have written a lot about how we are bringing up Otis.
What we want for him, what we want him to value.
I have also written about the education we want for him.
A none-religious, state school that celebrates creativity as much as the more traditional academic pursuits.
Sadly I know there are many people out there who think we are mad for the choices we make, but as I have also written, my advice to them is to look after their own kids upbringing and leave ours to us.
That said, following these ideals is not easy.
Apart from the simple issue of access, the reality is most schools and kids companies focus on structure, stereotypes and grades because that is what most parents – and Governments – seem to value most of all, so for us to go outside of that takes effort and commitment.
None of this means we don’t want Otis to have a quality education – of course we do – it’s just that when it comes to what we think ‘education’ means, we see it going beyond the importance of reading, writing and maths.
We want his school to help him develop a love of learning.
Give him the ability to practice critical thinking.
An openness and comfort to express himself openly and creatively.
But there’s something more – something we feel very strongly about – which in part is one of the reasons we’re against religious and private schools.
You see we want him to learn that stereotypes limit, control and create prejudice.
That just because you’re a different gender or come from a different heritage or have a different sexual preference doesn’t mean you can’t aspire to – or achieve the same level as – anyone else.
And while it’s a small thing in the big scheme of things, it is the reason why I love that Otis’ school had a black Santa visit them last Christmas.
Of course Otis didn’t care, comment or even probably notice … but for the other little kids who come from different backgrounds, they saw a face that could give them comfort, confidence and courage about who they are, where they come from and what they can achieve and who wouldn’t want a school that teaches kids – all kids – that.
Education is so much more than just grades and while this is not all of the schools responsibility, it is part of their responsibility.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Audio Visual, Before Fame, Childhood, Content, Context, Creativity, Culture, Daddyhood, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Freddie, Happiness, Jill, Love, My Fatherhood, Otis, Paul
Happy 2019!
I hope you had a fantastic time with loved ones.
I also hope 2019 is a very special year for you all, for all the right reasons.
While I’ve been back at work for 3 days already – which were spent in bloody Miami – I have to say I had a wonderful time, even if I didn’t get as many gadgets as I hoped I would.
That said, I’m not making any plans for the year ahead.
I’ve seen too many best intentions get ruined before the end of the first week of a new year to fall into that trap.
But it’s fair to say I do have some hopes for 2019.
Some are professional, but most are mainly personal.
More than that, they’re personal because it involves people I love rather than for myself.
I know … I know … who the hell am I?
The reality is I’m doing OK.
That doesn’t mean I don’t still have a huge drive to go further, but right now, my hopes are for others for the year ahead.
Of course the main people I’m focused on is Jill and Otis.
In September Otis will start ‘proper school’ and we just hope he gets into one that follows the values his Mum and I believe in. We never realized finding a school for him would be so hard … but when you don’t want to go private, don’t want religious associations and don’t want the focus to be so academic his creativity is impacted, I guess it was never going to be easy.
So we have our fingers crossed and will deal with whatever happens.
Which is why I am also focused on Jill.
As much as Otis has impacted my life in so many wonderful ways, it’s Jill who will experience the biggest change once he goes to school.
It’s Jill who has stayed with him throughout his formative years.
It’s Jill who has spent the days with him every week, playing and educating and just generally looking after him.
Their bond is a beautiful thing to witness and I know she feels being a mother has been the most fulfilling thing she has done in her life.
So now what does she do when she leads him to the next stage of his life?
Of course there will still be loads they do together, but I want to give her the backing to find something that fulfills her, whatever that may be.
I know it won’t be the same as helping raise our bundle of energetic joy 24/7, but I am excited to see what she will do.
She is extremely talented, creative and compassionate – and while I know she doesn’t want to start her amazing cake company again – we have discussed some things that she is excited by and I’ll be backing her all the way for whatever she chooses.
I say this because I recently saw the photo at the top of this post.
It’s a photo of Queen drummer, Roger Taylor, looking at the Freddie Mercury statue he has at the bottom of his garden.
The statue that was on top of the London theatre when their musical, We Will Rock You, was performing.
I have to say, I found the photo very poignant.
Apart from the fact it’s wonderful he wanted to keep the statue of his old friend – I can’t imagine what it must be like to see it every day.
Does he look at it and think about all the amazing things they did together?
Does he look at it and mourn the loss of someone he loved like a brother?
Does he look at it and feel the sadness of memories he will never experience again?
Growing old has many benefits – including not giving a damn what others think of you – but it can also act as a bitter pill when the things around you … the things you brought into this world … start taking on a life of their own.
At these points you can either sit back and focus on the change or lean in and explore the possibilities.
For the past 30 years of my professional life, I’ve been fortunate to always embrace leaning in to the possibilities – possibilities that has seen me live around the World and meet an endless stream of wonderful, creative individuals.
While I have no intention of stopping that approach to living, I do want to make sure that in 2019, Jill gets the drivers seat because apart from her generosity in letting me do so much of the steering, the reality is she was the one who helped us navigate to where we currently are so I know by handing over the driving to her, she will go to somewhere wonderful and fulfilling and no one I know deserves it more.
She’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.
So happy 2019 to all … I’m excited to see where we all end up in the next 12 months, even if my blog posts will continue to bring the excitement of possibility down to a slow, painful crawl.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Confidence, Culture, Daddyhood, Empathy, Goodbye America, Goodbye China, Jill, London, Love, My Fatherhood, Otis
A few weeks ago, Otis – my son – graduated from preschool.
I’ve got to be honest, I don’t quite get the preschool graduation thing.
Yes it’s a sort-of school, but it’s basically long playtime where you get to piss about with your mates – which is a bit like working in adland, but with less alcohol. Hopefully.
Anyway, whatever it is, Otis graduated which means the next stage is him embarking on his journey of real education.
I can’t believe it.
It seems only 5 minutes ago he was born.
But there he was … graduating for the first time in his life.
I don’t mind telling you I look at my little boy with such pride and love.
He has gone through a lot …
Living in 3 radically different countries – exemplified by the above photo shows him born in Shanghai, starting preschool in LA and finishing it all in London – saying goodbye to people of huge significance in his life, having to start things over again and again, watching his Dad crumble after seeing his beloved mum die, going through an operation … and yet through it all, he has approached life with a sense of optimism, mischief, happiness and curiosity that would put many older people to shame.
Part of this is because he’s just a loving and compassionate kid. Part of this is because he has family who bloody adore him. But part of this is the insane kindness and generosity that people around the world have shown him simply because they have watched him grow through my billions of social media pics.
The reality is Otis has brought more to my life than I could ever have imagined.
Not just in terms of love and happiness … but also in terms of lessons for life.
He has made everything unquestionably richer for both his amazing Mum and me and so as I tried not to cry as I watched him get his significant – but utterly pointless – certificate, I felt insanely proud of him.
Not for what he has achieved, but for who he is.
Congratulations Otis, you’re an epic little boy.