Filed under: Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Australia, Crap Campaigns In History, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Marketing, Marketing Fail
OK, full disclosure, this is old.
OK, I know ALL my posts are old, but this is old even by my old standards.
I found this photo from an Australian supermarket in my emails and I still can’t quite believe a company would do this and not think people would find it insulting.
No, your eyes do not deceive you, Woolworths Australia thought it was a good idea to print point-of-sale material that laughed at the madness of spending $10 on a BBQ chicken, when theirs are only $9.88.
A saving of 12 cents.
A saving of 1.2%.
Look, I know they say ‘look after the pennies and the pounds will look after themselves’ but come on …
Do they honestly think someone who wasn’t going to buy a BBQ chicken will suddenly want one because they are saving 12 cents on it?
Or do they think someone who shops at another supermarket and wants a BBQ chicken will make a special trip to Woolies to save that 12 cents?
I literally don’t understand this.
And then there’s the fact that the cost of producing and distributing that point-of-sale probably added about 12 cents to the cost of those BBQ chickens, so all this means is Woolworths aren’t actually the fresh food people, but the foolish food people.
Remember last month I showed that photo of the Amazon founder Jeff Bezos and his metamorphosis from nerd in 1998 to Terminator in 2017?
Well it’s obviously not an isolated incident because here’s Elon Musk … though unlike Mr Bezos, it appears he spent some of his billions on a hair transplant. But then, when you read what his ex-wife said about him, he might be a genius but he’s also a vain, little prick.
Something it appears the first Mrs Bezos would agree with.
Filed under: Dad, Daddyhood, Family, Fatherhood, Jill, Mum, Mum & Dad, Otis, Parents
Today would have been my Mum’s 85th birthday.
Eighty Five.
I would have flown in to see her. Probably, surprise her.
I did that a couple of times.
Once when I was living in Australia and once when I was in Singapore.
And on both occasions – when she went outside supposedly to help my best friend Paul bring something into her house, and when I hid behind a huge bouquet of birthday flowers – the surprise on her face was utterly adorable.
And because of those occasions, I know what would have happened if I surprised her today.
First she would have stopped dead in her tracks … trying to work out how I was in front of her when she thought I was on the other side of the planet.
Then she would have had a huge smile on her face as she walked towards me to give me a huge hug and a big kiss on the cheeks.
Finally she would tell me how happy and surprised she was, before saying she had to go and make up my bed immediately.
And even though it would be her special day, she would want the focus to be on me and we would have a little back-and-forth as I would insist I was there to celebrate her, not the other way round.
And I would win – not because she liked having a fuss being made of her, in fact she hated it – but because she knew I was happy when she let me make a fuss over her and me being happy made her happy too.
Just to be clear, her version of what ‘a fuss’ was, wasn’t a fuss at all.
I’m talking about having dinner together and talking and just enjoying each others company.
And while Mum would love it, I know she’d be thinking she was taking me away from other things I could be doing so I’d have to remind her I was there for her and we would laugh and hold hands and say how lovely it was to be together.
I would give anything to have that happen today.
Especially as this time, I would have Jill and Otis with me.
And that would make her think it was her best birthday ever.
Because she would get to watch Otis run and laugh around her little garden.
And get to hold his little hand while she went around telling him what all the flowers were.
And get to hear him say “thank you” after he’d wolfed down the pasta she would have lovingly made for him.
And while this all happened, I’d see her radiate with energy and love.
Filled with a spirit that only meeting your grandson for the first time can give.
And while she would desperately try to stop herself kissing Otis’ cheeks over and over again for fear of making him uncomfortable, every interaction would provide her with a joy she would not have felt for a very long time.
I wish this was how today played out.
I wish this was not just happening in my mind.
But it is and while I’d prefer the real thing, I am happy I can picture this in such detail.
It makes me still feel close to my beloved Mum.
The kindest, most generous and considerate person I’ve ever met.
And while I know she can not read this, a little part of me wishes she could.
Because I want her to know the love I have for her is as strong as it ever was.
And this is a small way of showing her that.
As will be the little thing I’ll be doing at work today in her honour.
Happy birthday my dearest Mum.
I miss you, love you and hope Dad is giving you an extra hug today.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Australia, Brand Suicide, Comment, Communication Strategy, Corporate Evil, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Creativity, Cunning, Egovertising, Embarrassing Moments, Innovation, Management, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Technology
Over the years, I’ve written a lot about how so many of the great ideas I’ve seen have come from the minds of designers rather than adfolk.
Where so many in my industry look to create eye-candy, designers are approaching their task in terms of solving the clients fundamental problem in the best and most visually interesting way.
There’s a lesson for many of us to learn in that.
However it’s not all great for designers.
Like that Pepsi bullshit from years back, there’s still examples where designers are taking the piss more than a catheter.
For the latest example, may I present to you Vodafone.
Whether we like them or not, our lives are very dependent on the telecommunications industry.
Sure, we might not use their service to make phonecalls anymore, but our smartphone addiction means we need their data so we can instragram our food at every possible moment.
Now obviously the telco industry doesn’t like being seen as just a ‘service provider’.
Part of that might be because of corporate ego, but the main reason is likely to be that for them to grow, they need to be regarded as an innovation company … someone who creates the future as much as serves it.
Whether you think that’s bollocks or not is up to you, but the reason I’m saying it is because that’s kind of the explanation Vodafone used for creating their new logo.
“What new logo?” I hear you cry.
This one …
“No Rob …” you reply, “… you’ve made a mistake, that’s the old logo”.
Oh no it isn’t folks, that’s the new one.
No seriously.
I swear to God.
Oh hang on, I don’t believe in God … OK, I swear on my heart.
Still don’t believe me?
OK, if you want absolute proof, here’s the old logo for comparison.
“But … but isn’t that basically the old logo just with the colours inverted?”, you stutter.
Well, I would agree with that assessment however we would both be wrong because apparently it is a new logo and, when you hear how the people at Vodafone describe it, it represents a new dawn for the company and it’s role and goal in society.
Here’s Ben Macintosh, Vodafone Australia’s customer business director …
“The changes represent the company’s ability to ‘innovate for the future ‘and supply choice for customers. The wants and needs of our customers have changed, and with that we’ve changed too. We challenge the status quo and push the boundaries to give people something that they won’t find anywhere else.”
I swear to god this is not an April Fool.
This really is their new logo and Ben Macintosh really did say that.
Look, I get Apple generated billions in extra revenue by simply adding a small ‘s’ to their otherwise near-identical product but this is a whole different scale of idiocy.
For me, there’s only 2 possible scenarios …
Either the branding company [which, let’s be honest, is not a design company] are fucking delusional or Vodafone is.
Whatever the truth, if I was a shareholder in the former I’d be buying more shares in them for their ability to charge millions for taking 10 minutes to literally invert the colours of their clients existing logos and if the latter, I’d be selling my shares as fast as I could possibly get rid of the worthless bastards.
On the bright side, I’m about to make a fortune as a branding consultant and my 1997 copy of Microsoft Paint.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Marketing Fail
Imagine you’ve invested a couple of decades on your career.
Experienced a huge range of highs and lows.
Worked on an incredible array of categories, clients and problems.
Built a reputation for being one of the good and the smart.
Then you decide to write a book.
A welcome a new set of highs and lows into your life.
But eventually you do it.
A book that not only conveys all you’ve learnt, but gives the reader valuable lessons on how to spot – or maybe even avoid – the same pitfalls along the way.
A labour of love.
And then – probably dues to exhaustion – you ask me to write a quote for the cover.
That’s stupid decision #1.
But it gets worse, because I send him this:
I once insulted Eaon at a conference. While I was on stage. Talking to a huge audience of his peers. He didn’t hit me. This is my way of saying thank you.
And despite that being true, he keeps it.
That’s definitely stupid decision #2.
Normally making 2 stupid decisions would automatically undermine any ability you are trying to claim, but Eaon Pritchard is a good, smart man [despite his awful judgement in who should write something for his book] so in an attempt to make amends, I would like to take this opportunity for you to keep an eye out for his new book.
It comes out early in 2018 and if you just ignore the quote [which I know you will] I think you’ll find it a terrific read.