Filed under: Comment
… giving a present.
No, I don’t mean ‘being present’ in the moment.
I literally mean, receiving a present.
Yep. Forget all that guff about emotions and a lifetime together, if you don’t give someone something from ARTE, then you’re destined to live a life of loneliness and solitude.
Also known as ‘Billy’.
Mind you, even that isn’t as bad as this blast from the past.
Honestly, I still find it amazing they did it.
Didn’t do it again though …
Filed under: Brand Suicide, Brilliant Marketing Ideas In History, Comment, Communication Strategy, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Creativity, Cunning, Fashion, Marketing, Marketing Fail
So the last couple of days have been about brands who have completely lost the plot as regards what marketing should be.
Well today we’re going to talk about something a bit different … namely a brand that seems to have completely lost the plot regarding what naming should be.
Yes, this is real.
A new women’s brand opening in China called Titty&Co.
Now you could say this name is genius because the level of PR they’re going to get is huge.
But will it help them long term?
If the brand had a more punk-type vibe – fighting sexism by using sexism – maybe, but given it appears they want to be NEXT … I’m not so sure.
That said, as I wrote once before, Asia loves coming up with brand names that literally explains what it does.
So by that token, I imagine Titty&Co just sell tops.
Either way, I bet the ‘Look Book’ that they mention above becomes the most popular part of their site. For men.
Filed under: Brand Suicide, Crap Campaigns In History, Egovertising, Marketing Fail, Wankers
OK, so from an ethical point-of-view, the ad I featured yesterday is waaaaaaaay worse given smoking will kill you rather than help you live a ‘full-on’ life … but in terms of marketing bullshit, this has to take the gold medal.
The smartest praline in the World?
What the hell were they thinking!
Another campaign that says more about the client than the audience.
Seriously, how many more times are companies going to confuse marketing with lying?
Of course they will say they’re just exaggerating or using creative licence … but the fact is, it’s bollocks packaged to satisfy the ego of the client.
While some may say that is a smart way to keep the client on side, the reality is that once the sales figures come in – or the lack of them – they’ll soon forget who told the agency to make such a ridiculous claim and put the business up for pitch.
And if by some grace of god, the sales figures do come in … then the client will take all the credit for their genius [when the likelihood is it’s their distribution power that they should be thanking] and the agency will forever be at the clients whim … that is until the their demand for ever-reduced fees means they literally cannot carry on as they are going.
And everyone loses their job.
Maybe.
Seriously, when I see stuff like this, it literally makes my blood boil over.
Not just because it undermines the industry. Not just because it turns more people off than on. Not even because it means the people with talent are getting held back by the people who will do whatever gets them a pat on the head. But because chocolate is wonderful and lovely and deserves work as charming and emotional as this little spot we recently made for Milka.
FYI: I’m not slagging off Ferraro because I work with Milka. I really like Ferraro chocolateI’m slagging them because this whole ‘smartest praline in the world’ is ridiculous.
But it gets worse.
You see after a bit of searching, I finally tracked their ad down – or at least the German execution of it – and guess what … it didn’t even have anything to do with praline’s, let alone ‘smart ones’, which means it’s even more marketing bollocks than I originally thought.
Filed under: Brand Suicide, Communication Strategy, Corporate Evil, Crap Campaigns In History, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Crap Products In History, Marketing, Marketing Fail, Taboo Categories
Yeah … a fag company advertising their death sticks with the line, “Life. Full On”
OK, so this photo was taken in a market where cigarette advertising is still allowed – which means they’re already behind the times – but unless their interpretation of ‘Life. Full On’ is one Salem fag puts 10 years of hard-livng pressure on your heart and lungs … then they’re a bunch of lying bastards.
______________________________________________________________________
For the record, I took this photo in 2006, so there is a very good chance this campaign – and cigarette legislation – has changed. But since when has that ever stopped me.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Brand Suicide, Comment, Communication Strategy, Corporate Evil, Culture, Experience, Marketing Fail, Standards, Talent
OK, so before I begin, not all headhunters are lazy fucks.
I have met a few who take a genuine interest in your career and offer advice – as well as guidance – in how you can, and should, move forward.
This involves taking a real interest in what makes you tick … some tough love … and a real desire to match your talents and quirks with an organisation who values the person as much as the job role.
But there’s not many of them.
Sadly, there are far more who are like this …
This is how I responded …
Then – realising their mistake – they tried to make amends, except they showed they completely missed the point …
To which I ended the conversation with this …
Seriously, what the fuck is going on with the recruitment industry.
Yes, I know this is the worst of it, but sadly there are far more of these lazy bastards than there are truly professional headhunters.
Why on earth would a company use them if they know they are paying for someone to randomly email folk on Linkedin.
Of course, the reason is because a lot of companies don’t really care about who they hire for their organisation as long as they sit down, shut up, do the job and can be replaced quickly.
There are some headhunters I would help.
Headhunters who I have got to know – and been helped by – for years.
Headhunters who see the person before the commission.
But to some random person from the internet who is too lazy to actually do their job properly … well, they can fuck off.
For all the talk of ‘talent being a companies most important asset’, it is increasingly obvious that speed is much more highly regarded, which is why I decided not to name and shame the person who sent me this, because ultimately they are simply a pawn in the whole seedy industry … an industry that seems to be doing an even better job than adland at turning itself into a commodity.