Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Dad, Death, Family, Love, Mum, Mum & Dad
I was going to say the reason for this post is because I’m still in a sentimental mood from yesterday’s Valentine’s day post.
Then I thought, ‘who am I trying to kid?’.
Because as much as I appreciate I can be a prick, I know I am also a massive sentimentalist.
Which is why this article affected me so deeply.
I can’t imagine what that must have felt like, but I do know what the impact would have been.
When I got married, I made sure I had a picture of my Dad on the table with us.
It was this one.
I wanted him there, even though he wasn’t really there.
And while it may sound weird, it made the whole occasion feel more complete … more perfect.
Which is why I get why the bride in this story would want the man who had received her father’s heart, at her wedding.
And I love that he came.
That he knew what it meant for her and for him.
That literally nothing would stop him from attending.
Because despite being invisible, he could see the thread that connects them.
He appreciated this was a chance to say hello, thank you and goodbye all at the same time.
A way to tell each other the person who is so important to both of them lives on, even though he’s gone.
I wrote about a similar situation a few years back … except this one was a chance encounter.
It still gives me goosebumps.
Still overwhelms me with emotion.
And while the price they both paid for that encounter was one of unimaginable pain, I also know how much I’d give to have that one additional moment with my Mum and Dad … which is why I’m so glad the bride and Mrs Carter got to have that with their respective loved ones.
Because while memories never leave us, moments stop us getting too lost in them.
I’ve written a lot in the past about how Valentine’s Day is more about fear than love.
I’ve written about how I purposely proposed to Jill before Valentine’s Day, rather than immediately before it.
I’ve also talked about how for the first 10+ years of our marriage, we never spent this day together.
But today I’m going to do something different.
Don’t get me wrong, I still hate Valentine’s Day – or at least, the way it tries to shame people into engagement – but it’s time to write something that honours the day.
You see right now, I love my wife more than I may ever have loved her.
That’s not some rose-tinted glasses bullshit, it’s true.
Now of course I’ve always loved my wife … but we’re at a place where things just feel even more special. Of course we’ve had our ups and downs – mainly caused by me – but we’re currently in a place where I feel we’re stronger, closer and more united than ever.
I won’t lie, it feels wonderful.
Not that things weren’t great before, but there is a different calmness that now sits between us. I can’t quite explain it, but it even more special.
I don’t know how this happened.
Maybe it’s due to our age.
Or maybe where we live.
Or how we live.
Or maybe it’s to do with Otis.
Or – most likely – it’s more to do with the choices and priorities I’m making.
But whatever the reason … the foundation feels like it’s even stronger than ever and after almost 20 years together, that’s an amazing thing to feel.
I always knew I was going to marry someone from ‘overseas’.
Maybe it was because my Mum was Italian or because my parents kept reiterating a life of adventure existed just beyond England’s shores … but it always felt inevitable I’d end up with someone not from England.
To think we went from meeting in Australia to living together in Singapore in 6 weeks seems even more incredible as I get older.
Of course that was all down to Jill.
That she was willing to take a leap of faith for a bloke she hardly knew.
A bloke who needed an emergency operation within 3 weeks of meeting so the first time she ever spoke to my Mum was to say, “hello, Rob is in hospital”.
A bloke who said, “we’ll only leave Australia for 2 years” and then proceeded to move her further and further away every 2 years … forcing her to start again while I walked into a ready-made world, thanks to work.
It’s easy to give platitudes early in a relationship … but to still feel lucky and grateful so long into a relation is – at least to me – a sign of something special.
And that’s what Jilly is.
A incredibly special human.
I love her. Always have. But even more today.
And while I could go on, I know she would rather I didn’t.
Mainly because – unlike her husband – she hates being the centre of attention. So instead I’ll leave you with one of the most beautiful stories of love I’ve ever read.
I’ve written about it before.
And I appreciate many would think it’s incredibly sad.
But nothing captures what true love is, like the last sentence. However, just like the real thing, you have to go through a lot to really understand it and earn it – which is why I ask you to read the whole piece, rather than just skip to end for the one-night stand version of it.
Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone.
I hope you have found or known love like Dan Aykroyd has.
And if not, there’s always time.
Have a look at this …
What the hell?
Now don’t get me wrong, if this was a story about the insane sacrifices people have had to make to survive in the economic crisis created by a government who have the audacity to claim they’re the ‘financially responsible party’, then I’d get it.
I’d be advocating for it.
But the reality is there are many people in the country who have to survive on ridiculously low food budgets but I never see the Daily Mail write about them … which means they chose to write about this TikTok wannabe influencer because they think what she is doing is newsworthy in its own right.
OH. MY. GOD.
I read the article 3 times and was shocked at it’s horrificness, with highlights being …
+ The Daily Mail writing about her like she’s some sort of shopping people champion.
+ That they completely ignore the fact the real reason she did it was for TikTok followers.
+ That everyone is acting like it’s a fucking surprise she found it ‘extremely difficult’.
And then, after all that, she isn’t even living off a £1 because ‘day 5’ amount shows a total of almost £4. Yeah … yeah … I get that may be food for a number of days, but before you start on me, let’s remember who started this whole stupid post.
I’m looking at you DM and TT woman.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Emotion, Empathy, Experience, Jill, My Fatherhood, Otis, Parents
First of all, I know Otis is 8.
But he said this to me when he was still 7 so deal with it.
As I have written previously, Otis was diagnosed last year with dysgraphia.
Dysgraphia is a form of dyslexia – specially writing and some motor skills, like holding a pen.
It doesn’t limit the capacity for learning, but it does affect how you do it.
I also wrote how amazing his school has been in helping him deal with this … letting him use technology for written assignments [text to speech] while very gently helping him keep practicing writing with a pen.
The effect has been remarkable.
He is happier, more expressive and even cheekier than before.
It genuinely feels like he has been freed from a feeling of oppression. Of not being good enough. And now he recognises his ability and his possibility. It’s so, so beautiful and I can never thank his school and teachers enough.
Of course, this is something he’s going to have to live with for the rest of his life. But thanks to his school – and technology – he doesn’t have to fear dysgraphia, he just can get on with it.
And get on with it he is.
A few weeks before the end of the year, he proudly showed us some work he had written.
As in, written with a pen, not technology.
That he showed us was incredible – because previously he did all he could to hide his writing from us. Whether it was because he was ashamed by it or simply believed it couldn’t be good as his classmates as he wasn’t as quick as them is open to question, but it is not hard to imagine that may be the case.
But here he was, showing us what he’d done.
I said to him, how good it was to which he replied with an viewpoint that was not only incredibly mature … but is a valuable lesson for anyone and everyone facing challenges in their life.
He said:
“Just because you struggle with some things doesn’t mean you can’t improve”.
How incredible is that?
He was seven when he said it. SEVEN!
That’s better advice than anything you hear from professional life coaches.
So to my dearest Otis …
I’m so, so proud of you.
Your attitude towards life is wonderful and inspirational.
And of course, you’re right.
You can improve.
You can always get better.
It’s not about glory, it’s about improvement.
Thank you for reminding me that life isn’t all black and white.
That how we evolve and improve and engage and embrace life is all done in the grey.
You’re such a brilliant human and we’re so proud to be your Mum and Dad.
Filed under: Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Colleagues, Comment, Confidence, Creative Development, Creativity, Culture
I love this.
I know some would say that’s because I am this – and sometimes I accept that I am am – but that’s not the reason I love it.
No. My adoration just comes from the attitude of going all in.
No compromise.
No hedging bets.
No pandering or placating.
It’s all in or absolutely nothing.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not advocating being a prick. We have enough of those in this business already … but what is even more annoying with those people is they’re being a prick for their ego rather than the work. They’ve already played their ‘please the client at all costs’ card and now they’re throwing their weight around to look like they haven’t.
But we can see those people from a mile off.
They’re more transparent than a bloody greenhouse.
No, I’m talking about those who push for great. Who hold the line for standards and expectations. Who demand the right response not the easiest or least offensive. Who tell the truth when bending it would be a far easier course of action.
There’s not enough of those people.
And we need them.
Because while it may appear that approach is counterproductive to building relationships, loyalty and business – with great clients, it does exactly that for one simple reason.
Standards need stubbornness.