Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Attitude & Aptitude, Authenticity, Communication Strategy, Content, Context, Creativity, Culture, Diversity, Egovertising, Emotion, Empathy, Fear, Fragrance, Human Goodness, Humanity, Management, Men, Perfume, Planners, Planners Making A Complete Tit Of Themselves And Bless, Planning, Prejudice, Professionalism, Provocative, Relevance, Resonance, Respect
So this is the last post for a week as I’m travelling for work.
I know … I know …
And while you may claim it’s another freebie holiday, it really is work. Albeit this time, it’s work that is mental in terms of crazy and exiting … which I hope I can talk about someday as it’s definitely one of those moments I’d like everyone to know about because its huuuuuuuuge bragging rights, hahaha.
Anyway, given I’ve probably already screwed my NDA, let’s get on with this post shall we?
A while back I wrote a post about the fragrance naming of Tom Ford. Specifically, the ‘Vanilla Sex’ variant.
Someone commented they found it interesting that I – and likely all men – would immediately interpret this as ‘boring/average sex’ when vanilla is the most universally accessible scent so it could easily mean the scent represented ‘sweet smelling sex’.
I responded by saying that while it is true vanilla is the most universally accessible scent, it is also widely accepted that using that word in association with ‘sex’ had very different connotations … and that interpretation had nothing to do with gender, but maybe age.
They deleted their comment.
I am unsure why they did, but I can guess and that is disappointing.
Of course, I appreciate men make A LOT of interpretations, associations, and confident claims about things they know little about. They are the undisputed champions of arrogant stupidity.
I also appreciate get utterly fucked that is … especially when they wade into subject matters that exclusively revolve around women, or more associated with women or people who identify as a woman.
You see it a lot – in fact, it happened to one of the brilliant members of my team last week – Meg – when she wrote something on Linkedin about a Bumble campaign … and was immediately hit with men not just telling her she was wrong, but then telling her what she should be thinking.
Which is why when that shit happens, they need to be called out.
But when that isn’t the case – or you realise it isn’t – then deleting your involvement doesn’t help.
Of course I get why people do it … but it doesn’t help build connections, understanding and bridges.
And frankly, we need more of that.
The divide in our industry is insane.
People are actively looking for the wrong in what others say or interpreting any alternative perspective as a personal attack.
OK, sometimes that is justified, especially on platforms like Linkedin … but not always.
The reality is people make mistakes.
We all do.
Hell, in the league table of misadventure, I would definitely be in the top 10.
But the key – at least for me – is about context and intent and my belief is the vast majority of people don’t want to be assholes. More than that, they want to actively learn and grow.
Now I appreciate it may not always seem that way … I get some people are trolls who, for reasons I will never really understand, get off on being violent with their words on all platforms of social media [though it confuses me even more when they do it on Linkedin, given we can see who they are], but I’m pretty sure most people aren’t like that. I think most people are decent but that can only be seen when there is an openness and calmness to debate and discussion. From both sides of the debate.
Sadly, men also find this incredibly difficult to achieve.
Especially men who seem able to permanently reside on the social media platforms.
And while some of them are egotistical, judgemental pricks – literally and metaphorically – the majority aren’t and that is why I feel the best way we can help the industry unite and evolve is if we lose the ego and apologise when we’re wrong and not gloat like dicks when we’re right.
To actively encourage and embrace the new, even if we don’t understand it.
To be open to challenges but in the spirit of curiosity and growth rather than destruction.
And to be open to be wrong and own it rather than try to disown it.
Of course, this is a two-way street, but given men are probably the reason for the vast majority of this behaviour – or ‘normalizing’ it – it’s only fair we take the lead in trying to change it.
Or said another way … take the lead in creating the conditions that let everyone else feel safe to discuss, debate and disagree.
And while that may sound very fucking Disney – especially from me – the reality is if we don’t do that, then for all the cleverness we claim our discipline offers– we’re showing we’re not that smart.
Worse, we’re acting as a barrier to brilliant people entering the industry, wanting to enter the industry or being able to thrive in it.
And yes, I appreciate how ridiculous the heaviness of this post is given it was inspired by a comment about a perfume called Vanilla Sex … but sometimes the craziest things create crazy outcomes.
Which is why maybe Tom Ford could launch a perfume for the strategy discipline entitled ‘vanilla debate … a scent designed to put our focus on creating work that leaves a lasting aroma rather than a discipline that’s starting to smell a bit like a sewer.
And with that, I’ll see you on June 4th, because – bizarrely – New Zealand has a day off on the 3rd for King Charles birthday. Which is great, but also stupid given what Colonialism did to the rightful people of this land. But before I digress into another rant, I’ll leave you with one teeny bit of information about the 4th June. And that is it will be 8 days before my birthday … so if you send your cheques now, they should reach NZ just in time for my special day.
You’re welcome.
See you soon.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Confidence, Men, Stupid
A while ago, I saw the wonderful Iain Tait post this on his insta.
God I laughed,
In many ways, it encapsulates the over-confident male.
The one who thinks they can deal with anything and everything. From DIY to Corporate Espionage … and anything in-between.
Which means I’m talking about 99% of all men.
Including me.
I discovered this disease when I was in my early teens and started playing the guitar.
I had a very shitty Fender Strat copy … and yet, despite not even having played enough to earn callouses on my fingertips, I decided I had the skills to take it apart to reset the neck.
As crap as that guitar was, it did not need it’s neck resetting.
Breaking maybe, but not resetting.
What made this decision even worse is that the last time I attempted any sort of DIY – at my school woodwork class – I managed to basically saw my finger off. Like properly through the finger. Which my best friend Paul, thought could be put back together by just shoving a plaster on it. Despite it spurting with blood. Until sane adults saw it and sent me to hospital.
The scar is still there …
But did the trauma of that memory stop me?
Of course it didn’t.
You see the way karma works is it not only makes you forget your past mistakes, it actively lulls you into a false sense of security.
Because it makes the first half of whatever the fuck you’re doing, feel dead easy.
And within seconds of starting, you think you’re a natural.
A master.
Hell … you start believing you could become a millionaire from doing it for others.
So you carry on, with a devil-may-care attitude and it’s that exact point, it decides to strike.
I still remember holding the neck of the guitar in one hand and the body of it in the other and wondering how the fuck I was going to reconnect those 2 parts.
Nothing seemed to fit.
It was like one piece had grown and the other had shrunk and were now sworn enemies.
I also remember losing screws and spending ages rubbing my hand back and forth over the carpet hoping I’d feel it and find it.
I didn’t.
They’re probably still in there. Somewhere.
And that was my first lesson in discovering the male brain is a massive bullshitter.
Over the years it’s tricked me a few more times.
Once it convinced me I could jump over 12 of my mates lying down on the ground while I rode my bike – the incredibly heavy Raleigh Grifter – as fast as I could to hit a ramp that was made up of some bricks and a piece of wood [result: Colin Bowler has never had children] or the time it encouraged me to buy a BBQ and invite friends over that evening to christen it [result: I somehow built it back to front and almost blew everyone up when I turned the gas on] and then there was the time is hyped me up to detail my car [result: a $1000 bill for adding scratches rather than removing them]
And while I’ve accepted I need to ignore the over-confidence that is a part of the male psyche, it still occasionally shows its power – just to remind me not to get any big ideas – though fortunately it’s more about me stupidly believing I can write a presentation … or a brief … or do a project in a fraction of the time than it actually takes me.
Or said another way, it has evolved from me breaking my possessions, to me breaking promises to my clients and colleagues.
Which is why that pic from Iain Tait really resonated with me. Not just for the laugh, but for the reminder the male brain can be a dangerous and stupid weapon.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Brilliant Marketing Ideas In History, Comment, Confidence, Insight, Men
So recently I was in Berlin and had one of the most underwhelming dinners of my life at Soho House.
For those of you who don’t know Soho House, they describe themselves as a ‘private members’ club for people in the creative industries’.
Maybe that’s true, but having gone to the bathroom and seen their urinals, I think Soho House Berlin is actually a private members club for men who like to think they’re big swinging dicks so will happily pay their $2000 annual membership fee just so they can keep using their toilets that have been designed to reaffirm their delusions.
Or something.
Regardless, it’s evil genius – because to paraphrase Bernie Madoff, when you offer people something they want, they never want to look too hard into it because they don’t want their fantasy to be shown for its reality.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Culture, Equality, Men, Sexism, Women
Remember a few weeks ago I wrote about the lack of female CSO’s … at least in comparison to male … and the need to fight against it by over-compensating for it?
Well, while my point of view was generally well received, I did cop some flack for it – unsurprisingly from men – and yet when you see the shit kids get exposed to from a young age, I wonder how they can feel the current situation is alright?
More so, I wonder how they can feel it’s fine if they’re parents to women?
Above are 2 pictures from an airline ‘duty free’ magazine.
Boys get to dream of being pilots.
Women get to dream of being air hostesses.
How many parents want their kids aspirations to be limited by their gender?
Of course there’s nothing wrong with being a member of the cabin crew – but that is about personal interests not gender limitations – and the only way this situation will change is if we remove the barriers and limitations placed on over 50% of the population and make space and opportunity for them to fulfill their potential.
Not – as I said in my original post – because it will make the world ‘fairer’ or even more ‘equal’ [though they both good reasons to do it], but because by enabling the potential of women, we all will experience the benefits of the way they see the World … a way that is often built on being better for everyone rather than just themselves.
Which, let’s be honest, is the definition of true leadership.
But there’s another reason for doing this.
It will make men better.
There is a lot to be said for being challenged by someone who expresses their talent in different ways to you.
Years ago – 2006, to be precise – I wrote about how the creative tension in the band The Who, pushed them to demand more from the music they were creating – as well as the people they were creating it with. Some of this was because of their occasional hatred for eachother, specifically Townsend and Entwistle, and some of it was because the band was so talented they would take someones musical ideas to ‘places’ they never imagined and they didn’t want to get left behind.
In other words, the tension pushed them higher … and given for so long women have had to play the support act to men – not just in companies but, as the pictures above show, in kids fashion – I believe it would be far more than just women winning if companies made more space for them to be the headline act.
Protector.
Defender.
Leader.
Enforcer.
Strength.
Courage.
Honour.
Guardian.
All words that pretty much sum up what a bunch of imposters men really are.
Of course we don’t want to admit it.
We talk a big, big game … but when we are called upon to step up to the plate, that’s when so many of us reveal [even though we do our best to hide it] we’re most definitely the weaker sex.
The reason I am saying this is because I recently saw a video that laid out the whole ugly truth in startlingly undeniable detail.
You better sit down, it’s going to be hard to watch …
Seriously, why Cindy Gallop isn’t all over this video?
All her arguments would be won in an nanosecond.
OK guys, I know I’ve broken the ‘male code’ by revealing this in public, but I have blog posts to write so it had to be done. And on the bright side, now we know why Marilyn Monroe said “Women who want to be like men lack ambition”.