Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Anniversary, Australia, China, Dad, Death, Family, Jill, Love, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Childhood, My Fatherhood, Otis
I think my Mum would be strangely happy that I almost forgot to write this post today.
And I did … only realizing last weekend today was the 11th anniversary of my Mum dying.
It’s not even the first time this has happened …
So how come I nearly forgot today – one of the worst days of my entire life – and why do I think Mum be happy about it?
Well, let’s do the practical reasons first …
I write this blog weeks in advance and so sometimes I don’t even think about the date they will appear, I just load them up to be automatically put out. That said, I’ve never nearly forgotten when it is Dad’s anniversary … however that’s a bit different to Mum’s in so much as he died in mid-January and so that tends to be one of the first posts I write every year, coming out the festive holiday season.
But that’s more of an assumptive rationale …
The fact is both my parents blessed me with an amazing childhood and upbringing. I’ve written so much about them over the years – from their endless encouragement to their demonstration of what love really means – and the loss of them was, without doubt, the hardest and biggest challenges I’ve ever had to face and deal with in my life.
But Dad died first – 16 years before Mum – and while I’d experienced the death of people close to me before, that was the one that was the most direct in terms of impact, importance and shock. It meant it took me years before I could think of Dad as the Dad I grew up with … rather than the person he became after his stroke robbed him of who he was and how he was.
But Dad’s passing opened up the ability for Mum and I to talk about death … and we did. A lot.
Not in an ‘impending doom’ kind-of-way … more in terms of the reality of what we’d faced and had to accept and learn.
It meant this was very much top of mind when Mum was going in for her operation. Maybe not spoken about openly, but definitely something that was in eachother’s minds. In fact, it was only after Mum had died – when the operation to extend her life, sadly failed due to a childhood issue that had gone undiagnosed – that I discovered just how much Mum had been thinking about it.
That she had written me ‘notes’ in case the worst happened – featuring information I’d need to make organizing her estate easier – is still one of the most powerful demonstrations of unconditional love I’ve ever seen. Though it still breaks my heart how she must have felt writing them – knowing that she was having to face her own mortality, on her own, while I was on the other side of the planet.
That said – as I wrote the morning she died – we’d found a lovely rhythm in the final few years.
We’d always had a wonderful relationship but there was a period where a few niggles had entered our interactions … nothing much, just a little tension caused by me wanting to take care of her and her wanting to fiercely protect her independence and have me look after myself and my future more. But we’d got past that by realizing both us were coming from a place of love … so we made allowances for each others needs, which meant she let me put money in her bank account every month and I didn’t mind that she never spent a penny of it. Haha.
And while the days leading up to her death will be forever burned in my mind, my memory of Mum has never been stuck in that period, like it was for Dad for all those years. I don’t know why but I’m grateful for it.
Maybe it’s because I became better equipped emotionally after Dad died?
Maybe it’s because Otis was born 3 months before Mum passed and so that period was consumed with happy thoughts throughout that time?
Or maybe it’s because I’d seen Mum a lot before she died – every month for 6 months or so – and so saw the impact of her heart condition on her health – meaning it was less of a surprise to me, even though I thought the operation was going to make things better?
Who knows … but while today will always be significant in my mind, it’s not the main thing that immediately comes to mind. Instead I think of the conversations we had when I came to visit … the pasta she would lovingly make for me … the look of happy surprise on her face when I turned up unannounced from Australia … the tennis she’d play with me on the patio in the back garden in summer when I was a small kid … the joy on her face when she learned she was going to be a Grandma … the stories she would tell me of the films or comedians or concerts she’d gone to see … the quiet contentment we felt when we were in the same room together, even if nothing was being said.
I think of those things WELL before anything to do with her dying.
I think of her grace, her kindness, her love, her curiosity, and her compassion.
I think of how much I wish she could see the grandson she never met, but adored.
I think of how she will never know I lived in America and back in England and now NZ.
I think of how she would react to Bonnie. [And the news of Rosie]
I think of how she would react to ‘healthy me’.
I think of how lucky I was – and am – to be able to call her my Mum.
And that’s why, I am sure Mum would be happy that I almost forgot to write this post …
Because it means her memory is alive and present in my life and that means she achieved what she hoped for most in her life.
That she was a good Mum.
And she was. And still is.
I miss you Mum. I hope you’re with Dad, holding hands.
I love you.
Filed under: 2026, A Bit Of Inspiration, Anniversary, Colenso, Comment, Family, Home, Jill, London, Love, New Zealand, Otis, Rosie
5 years ago today, we landed in Auckland.
FIVE BLOODY YEARS!
That’s the 3rd longest I’ve ever lived in a single place.
NZ was never on the plan, but Colenso was a place I’d always loved and so when they reached out post-R/GA redundancy [which came about by the then ‘shocking’ way I promoted my redundancy, which was covered by The Guardian Newspaper], it was suddenly a real option – made even more desirable after Jill told me [having mentioned they’d got back in touch] that “it would be nice to be closer to my Mum”.
Up until then, I thought we were going back to the US, but not only did I feel I needed to do something for the woman who I’d dragged all over the World after telling her we’d only have be away from Australia for a max of 2 years [Ahem!] both NZ and Colenso offered us things that were much more where we were and what we needed in our lives and work right then – from being cool with letting me continue doing my private projects through to giving us an escape path from Covid-ridden England … that is until it arrived in New Zealand and put us back in bloody lockdown, hahaha.
[That said, our immigration hotel – The Ibis – was in Hamilton, and as people from NZ will know, it was good prep, ha]
That said, it took a lot for us to get there.
First was getting approval to travel to NZ … then there was getting a spot in the quarantine hotel … that had to also align with the insanely limited flights to NZ … which was made harder by needing to find an airline that would also take our cat … plus the endless COVID tests we had to provide to different government departments, up to 24 hours before leaving …
And that’s before we talk about organizing the visas for me, the family and the bloody cat to enter the country … telling our bank that we were off to live on the other side of the planet on the very day we moved into the house we’d just bought in the UK … through to organizing a bloody coach to get us to Heathrow Airport, to ensure there was enough distance between us and the driver so there was no last minute COVID fuck-ups.
[The photo at the top of this post is from us getting on the plane and getting ready to take off]
And while moving across the world during a global pandemic is something I would never, ever recommend – and this is coming from someone who has moved countries into the double digits – we made it and were grateful for all NZ – and Colenso – has done [and does] for us.
That doesn’t mean NZ is perfect …
In many ways, it’s position as a ‘global utopia’ is worthy of a Grand Prix for PR given there’s a whole host of things that are fucked up that people outside of NZ rarely know about, let alone see … from deeply entrenched racism, a youth suicide rate that is proportionally – and continually – one of the highest in the world plus an overall lack of economic investment and youth opportunity to name but a few … however compared to many other places, it’s still a whole lot better in a whole lot of ways.
That said, we won’t be here forever.
Don’t know when that move will happen, but it will.
That we’ve been here 5 years is already incredible to us, given bar China, our usual tenure in a country is about 2-3.
But that’s how good the place is. And Colenso.
So why can I say we will leave at some point in the future?
Well, there’s a bunch of reasons why – of which one is the idea of living in one place till the end of my days fills me with dread – but the fact this place is already the 3rd longest place I’ve ever lived proves NZ is somewhere I regard as very special and why I’ll always see my time here as a chapter of true significance. It’s also why I hope when the day comes for us to leave, the people who matter feel I/we contributed at least as much as we were lucky and grateful to receive from them and the country as a whole.
And let me tell you, I haven’t felt that way about all the countries I’ve lived in, hahaha.
So to everyone in NZ – well, 98.46% of you – and everyone at Colenso …
Thank you.
For all you are and all you have done.
It’s been 5 pretty fucking awesome years. At least speaking for us, ha.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Anniversary, Dad, Death, Family, Love, Parents
OK, so we got to the end of the first week of 2026.
Or should I say the 3rd week … but you know what I mean.
Anyway, I started the TWENTIETH year of this blog with a couple of nice posts.
Then I followed it up with a couple of things that were frustrating-the-fuck out of me.
And now I am going to end it with something deeply personal to me.
Today is the 27th anniversary of my dad dying.
That not only means he has been out my life for just under half my life, but in just 5 years – I’ll be the age he was when he died.
As I’ve written before, when I turned 50 I went through a real emotional wobble believing that meant I only had 10 years before I too died … and while I’ve thankfully got past that, it increasingly shocks me how young he was when he passed.
Now I’ve written a lot about how much my Dad meant to me … how much he means to me … so this time I’m going to post something else altogether. Not because I don’t want to celebrate my Dad, but because I think this celebrates him in a way he would both want and respect.
To do that, you need to watch this …
This not only hit me, it made me really think hard.
And I get it and I think my Dad would have loved it.
Don’t get me wrong, I wish my Dad was still alive with all my heart and soul.
I miss him every single day and I hate I haven’t been able to share any of the past 27 years of my life with him.
But while he is still in my life and still relevant in my life, I know he would want me to refer to him as dead rather than ‘passed away’… not just because he wasn’t religious in any way, but because the word ‘death’, honours him and acknowledges him with greater dignity and love than any of the more ambiguous terminology that is often used to soften the reality rather than respect it.
Put simply, ‘passed’ sounds temporary and death represents permanency … and the reason that is so important is – as Labi Siffre so brilliantly articulates – the permanency of death not only justifies, but enables the full expression of grief because ultimately, grief represents the deep love you had for someone and the importance they played in your life.
And my god, did I love him.
So here’s to you Dad.
Dead, missed but absolutely not forgotten.
Filed under: 2025, A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Agency Culture, Anniversary, Attitude & Aptitude, Career, China, Colleagues, Creativity, Friendship, Love, Loyalty, Management, Planning, Professionalism, Relationships, Resonance, Respect, Shanghai, Wieden+Kennedy
One of the most special times of my life – not just career – was working at Wieden+Kennedy.
Specifically Wieden+Kennedy Shanghai.
Of all the adventures and experiences I’ve had in my life, it stands out highest simply because I feel a deeper sense to China and its people than any other place I’ve ever lived.
It helped that I was there during a time where the World needed China more than China needed the World – so I found myself invited into meetings and situations that frankly, few people – let alone strategists – would ever get to experience.
Wieden were amazing to me personally and professionally but I paid them back in droves.
But that said, leaving was very difficult.
They wanted me to stay.
A big part of me wanted to stay.
But I’d been there for a lonnnnnng time, I’d done pretty much everything that could be done – including starting and running The Kennedys – plus I had a young boy who needed a different environment to grow up in.
So with very bitter sweet tears, I said goodbye to a magical place in a magical country. Except I said it in a way where they would forever remember me. Specifically as the pain-in-the-fucking-arse I’d been to every single person in that place for seven fucking years.
You see about 6 weeks prior to leaving, I had 600 of these stickers made.
I then proceeded to spend the next 5 weeks hiding them everywhere.
From the – then – refurbished Shanghai office to all the local W+K hangouts, like Baker & Spice, Jamaica Blue, Little Catch and, of course, Nike HQ.
It made some people furious. Specifically one person. Which made me especially happy because in terms of making a final decision whether to stay or go, they were the determining factor on why I left.
And over the years, people would send me a photo where they had come across one or two.
And despite it now being 8 years … there’s still some there.
In fact, there’s now more than just some.
You see a few weeks ago, I was in Shanghai and was invited to visit the office.
I had not been in the place since I left … but given I’d now been away longer than I was there, it felt OK to go in.
And it was lovely and familiar.
But then it was a place where I did a lot of growing up.
And made a lot of friends … friends who are with me for life.
Which is why it was extra special for me to see some familiar faces from my time there.
And because of this, I wanted to honour the place and give them something new to show my gratitude and love.
So I gave them this:
That’s right, I made a new sticker to accompany the old ones.
“But how many stickers?” I hear you cry.
Well I couldn’t possibly divulge that information because it would ruin the fun of finding all of them, but in the interests of friendship, here’s a clue:
Now I fully appreciate this act of ‘love vandalism’ may result in them never inviting me back, but I do hope they see it as my own special way of showing my deepest and sincerest respect to a place and country I truly love.
Because Wieden Shanghai and China wasn’t just a place I lived and worked …
It was where I was reborn.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Anniversary, Attitude & Aptitude, Bassot, Colenso, Comment, Travel
I cannot believe it is October.
And yet I am so grateful for it.
It’s been a weird year so far … full of wonderful things and a few horrible things.
From beautiful puppies to broken eyes, it’s been a real rollercoaster – acknowledging that in the big scheme of things, I have nothing to complain about compared to many.
But coming into the last quarter of 2025 is not why I’m happy it’s October. My contentment is not driven by a desire to ‘get to the end of the year’ … although, I am looking forward to the special long-holiday you get in NZ at the end of the year.
No, the reason I’m grateful for the beginning of the 10th month is a lot of good things are happening … or about to.
First of all, it’s officially the end of winter in NZ.
Sure, as winters go, this has been one of the easiest and most enjoyable of my life … but I’m still glad to have ‘officially’ got through it.
Secondly, today – literally today – we welcome James Bennett, the long-waited replacement for the wonderful Martin Bassot who left us earlier in the year.
Ironically, they not only know each other, they worked with each other at Wieden London … and so James will now find out whether Martin is a mate or a bastard for telling him this would be a good move.
I’ll write more when he has his feet under the table … but I’m so very excited about him joining the gang and seeing what positive trouble he can add whilst also being very grateful he and his family chose to move to the other side of the planet for this adventure.
As I’ve written before, I NEVER take that for granted and I see it as my responsibility to create the conditions for them to destroy – in good ways, obviously – haha.
As an aside, his wife – Mel – is a VERY talented planner [also from WK London – sorry Dan. Again] and so if any agencies in NZ are looking, you should get in touch and I’ll get her in touch with you.
I’d have loved to have hired her too, but my department already makes up about 30% of New Zealand’s population so it was a no-go. For now.
So, if you’re interested – especially Motion Sickness or Special – you should drop me a note. [I won’t even charge a founders fee. Probably, haha]
The last reason why I’m excited about this month is because of something I can’t even talk about. Yet.
But it’s something almost impossible to comprehend.
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PLEASE NOTE: Well, sadly it is impossible to comprehend as there have been some ‘changes’ since I originally wrote this post … so while there’s some parts of it happening – albeit in a different country as well as in a totally different context – the original plan is now not happening till next year. However, as I can’t be arsed to rewrite this whole paragraph, let me use what was originally written to convey the excitement
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It’s so insane, it doesn’t even qualify for ‘once in a lifetime’ status, because you can’t imagine things like this happening in a million, billion years … but thanks to the wonderful MC and some serendipity related to the talk Paula and I gave at Cannes earlier this year, I’ll be heading off to London, via Nashville, to work on one of the most ridiculously wonderful things I’ve ever done in a career of ridiculously wonderful things.
I know how annoying it is when people say this shit and don’t spill the beans, but I can’t, at least not yet … but given the other 2 things mentioned in this post would make October a good month, this additional thing makes it an iconic one. So iconic my wife – who DETESTS flying – was willing to consider getting on a 24 hour flight for a 24 hour stay in London before spending another 24 hours flying home.
Then she came to her senses.
So, while October is often viewed as ‘scary’ because of Halloween, it may just be the best month of this whole, weird year. Not just for me, but for you too as I’ll be away for a week which means there’ll be none of this blog bullshit for a week as well. Everyone wins. That said, if October could somehow also find it in its power to sort out my eye issues, then it will be the most perfect month that ever lived.
You can tell I’m an only child, can’t you?! Haha.