Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Dad, Daddyhood, Jill, Mum, Mum & Dad, My Fatherhood, Otis
It’s the last day of the first week of blog posts for the new year.Congratulations, you’ve survived.
So I thought I’d end the week on a positive.
No, a real one.
You see there was recently read a Linkedin article asking people what piece of advice they would give to their children.
Obviously this is a big, big question because ultimately, there’s so many things you could say and want to say.
But then I realized the advice I got from my parents is still probably the best advice I could give.
Advice that not only prepares you for the life ahead, but prepares you to get the most out of what is there and who you are – which, when you come to think of it, is probably the best advice of all.
So with that, I pass onto Otis what my beloved parents passed on to me.
+ A life of fulfillment is more enjoyable than a life of contentment.
+ Be interested in what others are interested in.
+ Make your own mistakes not someone else’s.
I might not have managed to do them all, all the time, but those pieces of advice have helped me enjoy a life that – let’s face it – I don’t deserve to have, which might be the one thing I’ve done that my parents would be the happiest about.
So to Mum and Dad – thank you – you might not realize it, but you’ve given your grandson one of the most valuable bits of advice he’ll ever have.
Have a great weekend.
Filed under: Anniversary, Attitude & Aptitude, Birthday, Comment, Daddyhood, Jill, Mum, My Fatherhood, Otis, Parents
So this is the last week of posts for 2017 so prepare for a bunch of sentimental claptrap as the week continues. Sorry, I mean ‘even more’ sentimental claptrap.But today I am talking about something else.
Something that continues to be one of the best and most amazing parts of my life.
I’m talking about my son Otis, who today hits his 3rd birthday today.
THREE.
How is that possible?
And yet it is and I’m both thrilled and petrified about it.
Thrilled because he is the most wonderful little boy I could ever hope to know and petrified because – as the cliche goes – he is growing up so, so, so fast.
I can remember everything about the day he decided to come out and say hello.
From the moment Jill woke up at 2am feeling ‘funny’ to seeing his face at 6:27pm.
Up until his birth, he was about 7 days past the due date and a part of me that was very happy about that fact.Not because I didn’t want to meet him, but if he was born on the 12th December, our medical insurance would have clicked over for another year and all the costs associated with his delivery would be covered.
Of course he came out 5 hours 33 minutes too early for that to happen … proving that even before he was a minute old, he had the same annoying, cheeky-bastard traits of his father.
And yet, despite having just cost his Mum and Dad thousands of dollars by being born on the 11th, he has only filled our lives with happiness, excitement, joy and love.
And I mean filled.
To the point of overflowing.
This little boy is a delight.
He’s funny, kind, compassionate, curious, mischievous and loving.
He is everything I could ever have hoped to have in a child and a ton more besides.
I am incredibly proud to be his Father and hope he will feel the same way for all his life.
So with that, I want to say something to him that he can look back on whenever he faces trials and tribulations in his life.
My Dearest Otis.
You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and your Mum.
You make everything worth while.
The late nights, the early mornings, the decisions we made focused around your needs.
Everything.
So much has happened in the last 12 months and yet you have taken it all in your stride.
Your Mum and Dad are under no illusion how challenging this must have felt and yet you remained happy and open to all that is around you and we are in awe of the way you have coped with it all.
We will continue to do all we can to equip you with the skills and knowledge to handle whatever life throws at you and all we ask in return is you stay as cheeky, curious and happy as you are. Be safe knowing there are lots of people around the world looking out for you and we will always support you in the things that excite you and move you and will love you, regardless of what trouble you cause us ahead.
But don’t push it too far …
Happy birthday my dearest little boy.
Oh what a treasure you are.
Mummy and Daddy [and Rosie]
xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Filed under: Dad, Daddyhood, Family, Fatherhood, Jill, Mum, Mum & Dad, Otis, Parents
Today would have been my Mum’s 85th birthday.
Eighty Five.
I would have flown in to see her. Probably, surprise her.
I did that a couple of times.
Once when I was living in Australia and once when I was in Singapore.
And on both occasions – when she went outside supposedly to help my best friend Paul bring something into her house, and when I hid behind a huge bouquet of birthday flowers – the surprise on her face was utterly adorable.
And because of those occasions, I know what would have happened if I surprised her today.
First she would have stopped dead in her tracks … trying to work out how I was in front of her when she thought I was on the other side of the planet.
Then she would have had a huge smile on her face as she walked towards me to give me a huge hug and a big kiss on the cheeks.
Finally she would tell me how happy and surprised she was, before saying she had to go and make up my bed immediately.
And even though it would be her special day, she would want the focus to be on me and we would have a little back-and-forth as I would insist I was there to celebrate her, not the other way round.
And I would win – not because she liked having a fuss being made of her, in fact she hated it – but because she knew I was happy when she let me make a fuss over her and me being happy made her happy too.
Just to be clear, her version of what ‘a fuss’ was, wasn’t a fuss at all.
I’m talking about having dinner together and talking and just enjoying each others company.
And while Mum would love it, I know she’d be thinking she was taking me away from other things I could be doing so I’d have to remind her I was there for her and we would laugh and hold hands and say how lovely it was to be together.
I would give anything to have that happen today.
Especially as this time, I would have Jill and Otis with me.
And that would make her think it was her best birthday ever.
Because she would get to watch Otis run and laugh around her little garden.
And get to hold his little hand while she went around telling him what all the flowers were.
And get to hear him say “thank you” after he’d wolfed down the pasta she would have lovingly made for him.
And while this all happened, I’d see her radiate with energy and love.
Filled with a spirit that only meeting your grandson for the first time can give.
And while she would desperately try to stop herself kissing Otis’ cheeks over and over again for fear of making him uncomfortable, every interaction would provide her with a joy she would not have felt for a very long time.
I wish this was how today played out.
I wish this was not just happening in my mind.
But it is and while I’d prefer the real thing, I am happy I can picture this in such detail.
It makes me still feel close to my beloved Mum.
The kindest, most generous and considerate person I’ve ever met.
And while I know she can not read this, a little part of me wishes she could.
Because I want her to know the love I have for her is as strong as it ever was.
And this is a small way of showing her that.
As will be the little thing I’ll be doing at work today in her honour.
Happy birthday my dearest Mum.
I miss you, love you and hope Dad is giving you an extra hug today.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Australia, Culture, Daddyhood, Emotion, Empathy, Equality, Family, Happiness, Love, Mum & Dad, Otis
Following on from yesterday’s post, I want to talk about the dismay I feel about the Australian government asking for a referendum on whether gay marriage is acceptable.
What offends me even more than the fact this shouldn’t even be an issue is that when there are issues that should have input from the nation – from immigration to military intervention – the decisions are made without any level of consultation.
It makes absolutely no sense, unless the government think gay marriage is more dangerous than defending Australia’s shores.
Actually, they probably think it is.
One of the reasons this issue bothers me is that on top of everything else, my son Otis has an Australian passport.
OK, he also has a British and Canadian one … but should he wish to settle in Australia when he’s older, I want him to have all the rights heterosexuals have, which is why I hope, should he ever need reassurance, he see’s this message that I wrote about marriage equality a while back and knows his Mum and Dad love him and will always support him in his quest for happiness and fulfillment.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Comment, Confidence, Culture, Daddyhood, England, Mum & Dad, My Fatherhood, Nottingham Forest, Otis
Can you remember some of your greatest days?
I don’t just mean the big ones, but the ones that should have been a ‘normal 24 hours’ but somehow turned into something different.
Better.
Seminal.
Jill recently sent me a photo that captures one of those days.
Yes, that’s me watching TV.
More specifically, watching Forest.
Live.
Playing Arsenal.
In the FA Cup.
Fallen giants versus FA Cup holders.
Championship team versus Premiership establishment.
Managerless versus longest serving manager.
And we won.
4-2.
FOUR BLOODY TWO.
More than that, we won in style … so much so that a blind Arsenal fan, who was at the game, expressed that he had finally found a positive to being blind because he didn’t have to see how much Forest bossed Arsenal on the pitch, but only hear it.
But as much as that is most definitely a big and memorable event, that’s not what made it seminal for me.
It’s that little head resting against my body on the sofa.
Yep, that’s Otis.
Watching the game with me.
His first ever football match.
Where his Dad’s beloved Nottingham Forest, won.
Now I appreciate this isn’t the same as when I was a kid and started watching Forest.
Back then, they were not just winning against the champions, they were the champions.
First of the league, then of Europe and beyond.
Their success cemented my love of the reds … taking it beyond just geographic loyalty and into more personal identity.
And even though they have fallen so far from those heady days – where they have had 26 different managers in the time Arsene Wegner has been boss of the gunners – I still love them and hope this match, where Forest secured an unlikely yet thoroughly deserved victory in front of a 3 year old living in Manhattan Beach, means he will love them too.
Maybe I’m being massively unfair on Otis.
Maybe I’m setting him up for a lifetime of disappointment.
But then, when you hear stories like this that come out of matches like that, it does teach you that the events of the past don’t have to dictate the events of the future if you commit to always doing your best.