The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

You see one of the things I find hilarious is when companies talk about ‘customer service’. The reason I laugh is the ones who talk about it the most, tend to be the ones who care the least.

Oh they don’t say that of course, it’s just they seem to be of the belief that if they say a lot about it, it doesn’t require them to actually do anything with it.

Kind of like the experts on Linkedin, hahaha.

Anyway, recently I came across a phenomenal example of this behaviour.

Phenomenal in so much as the hypocrisy of their actions suggest they’re either utterly stupid, or literally don’t give a shit.

Let me give you a bit of background.

A week after I bought my new car, some fucker did this to it.

Claimed his brakes had failed, despite the fact you can see he was looking at his phone.

He then added to the bullshit by giving me a false address and number – but sadly for him, I had a dash-cam, that not only showed his rego, but proved he was in the wrong.

Anyway, that all has been sorted out … however before the insurance company took it to the garage to be repaired, I wanted to ensure I was on top of all the damage he’d caused so I bought a device that ‘diagnoses’ how the car is performing.

Basically you plug it in and it reads the data of the car to identify how it operates.

Normally I wouldn’t bother with such things, but given the car was only a week old, I wanted to ensure everyone knew what had to be fixed.

So I went on website of this company, chose the device specifically for my car, paid for it – and the subscription – and waited. A week or so later it arrived and I plugged it into my car only to be told it was the wrong one and that I needed a newer version with a subscription to access the information.

Given I had literally ordered – and paid for – the latest model from their website, this was somewhat of a suprise, so I wrote to the company to ask for help in sorting it out.

This was the ‘reply’ I received …

What the absolute fuck?

I mean … how many things can one company get in one email response?

Or should I say, how many contradictory answers can one company write in one email response.

First of all they say the ‘ticket is closed’, despite not actually responding to my question.

Then they say they ‘regret’ I can’t send them a reply to their email … despite the fact the top line of their email states ‘please type your reply above the line’.

Then, to rub things in – or confuse me further – they say they’re happy to assist me anytime, despite the fact they’ve literally not assisted me and worse, have blatantly gaslit me.

I am almost impressed at how much they obviously don’t give a shit.

They’re almost Trump-esque in their deliberate avoidance and ignorance.

It’s laughable given this company is supposedly the creator of a product that tells you things no one else will say. What a shame they don’t practice what they preach. But then, so many companies think ‘truth’ is optional.

So to the people at Carly …

Your product sucks.

Your service sucks.

Your system sucks.

And you suck.

Because as bad my car was hit, the damage is nowhere near as bad as the damage you’ve done to one of your paying customers. A paying customer who will not only never give you a penny ever again, but who has – like the petty little shit I am – found a way to teach Carly’s CEO, Mr Avid Avini, a lesson he will hopefully never forget.

Or should I say, a lesson he may never be able to stop.

Hey, he started it.