The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

The Best News For Your Monday …
March 21, 2016, 5:20 am
Filed under: Comment

… is that I am away till Friday.

Yes, I know I was away last week, but you luck-in yet again!!!

However for the people of Singapore, I have the worst news for your Monday.

I’m coming to visit.

Proof that one persons positive is another persons nightmare.

Design Problem Solvers …
March 18, 2016, 6:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Design, Innovation, Insight

After the madness of Monday, you’d think the Police would have picked me up and thrown me into a cell.

But no.


While normally I would take this as a sign that I can push things even further, even I accept there’s only so much anyone can take of my best friends penis [pun, most definitely not intended] so today I’m slowing the pace down and getting to something you may find interesting. Or at least more interesting than the subject matter of yesterday’s post.

I’ve written about my admiration – and occasional derision – for designers many times.

This is not purely because my wife is one, but because when they truly overcome – or solve – a problem, they do it in the most ingenious of ways.

Design helped Apple increase their brand value.

Design helped SONOS create a static logo that produces sound.

Design helped make the World laugh.

OK, this last point is taking the piss … but you get the gist of what I’m saying.

Anyway, the reason I am saying all this is because I recently saw another bit of brilliant design.

This …

Yep, stairs that have wheelchair access built right into them.

Simple, brilliant and effective.

As with many ingenious ideas, the solution seems so obvious.

As with many obvious ideas, it needs someone special to realise it.

Think sharp. Execute simple.

Now That’s A Big Cock …
March 14, 2016, 6:20 am
Filed under: Family, Friendship, Paul

As many of you know, my best friend in the whole, wide World is a guy by the name of Paul.

I’ve literally known him all my life and he is, for all intents and purposes, my brother.

I’ve written a lot about him on this blog.

I’ve talked about my childhood with him.

I’ve talked about how much he means to me.

I’ve talked about how he has been part of the best moments in my life.

I’ve talked about his propensity for stupidity. [Beyond just being my mate]

I’ve talked about how much I miss not being near him.

And yes, I’ve talked about the size of his penis.

Over the years I have faced a barrage of abuse and derision from those who comment on this blog about this.

Not – I should hasten to add – because you find it inappropriate, but because you think I have some sexual urging for him.

I don’t.

It is true that if I was gay, I’d happily marry him – but I’m not – so my love for him is purely in the friendship sense of the word, though I can’t say his feelings towards me are as innocent.

The point is, the only reason I mention it in posts is because he big ‘down there’ and when I write it, I’m simply stating a [jealous] fact … there is no other reason.

Anyway, to put this tittle-tattle finally to rest, I’d like to provide you with some empirical proof.

A few months ago, Facebook did a video for ‘Friends Day’.

On Paul’s, there was a photo of him kicking a guy out of a concert [he is a part-time security guy at festivals] and the Facebook video showed the comment I wrote at the time.

“Wanted your cock again? He’s only human I suppose”

I know … I know … I’m an immature, pathetic man, but there is a point to this.

You see by me writing this comment on Paul’s Facebook, it proves there is widespread acknowledgement that his ‘appendage’ is huge, but if you’re still in doubt, here is a photo of the comments Paul and I made after I watched his Facebook ‘friend’ video.

See … not only does Paul acknowledge it in words, he does it in emoji’s.


And with that m’lud, I rest my case while also accepting this might be the worst post in the history of all blog posts.

And it’s only Monday.

Now normally I would say ‘you’re doomed’, but you’re not.

NOT because you’ve grown immune to my rubbish.

NOT because you’re all big and strong.

But because I’m in Tokyo all week so I [probably] won’t be posting until Friday … which is handy, because that’s about as much time as you’ll need to get over today’s mental violation.


Positive Post …
March 11, 2016, 6:10 am
Filed under: Comment

It’s been an emotional week for me, so I want to end it with something nice.

No, this is not some attempt to lull you into a false sense of security then hit you with something deeply offensive … like I did to my friend a few years ago. At his office. While he was sat next to Sir Martin.

This is something good … something that warms the heart … even if the circumstances around it are incredibly sad.

And with that, I wish you a great weekend and hope you give someone you love a big hug.

It’s more important than shopping. Even for gadgets. [Allegedly]

PS: Andy, you get a hug because I know the clip might be hard for you. Hopefully uplifting too.

Planning Planning …

So recently the nice folks at Miami Ad School sent me an email saying that as it is the 10th anniversary of their Account Planning Bootcamp, they would like planners around the World to give their perspective on 2 questions:

1. How has strategic planning changed through the past 10 years.

2. What is coming next.

I’ve got to be honest, I don’t really like these sorts of questions – mainly because I feel they attempt, consciously or not, to make the planning discipline appear aloof and exclusive when the reality is, we’re only successful when we help others be successful.

That doesn’t mean planners aren’t creative … nor does it mean we are only good for writing bloody presentations … however we will rarely see the full potential of our ideas if we don’t bring others along on our journey and let them take it to places better than we imagined.

I’ve said it before, but I see too many planners who think their job is about being intellectually victorious as opposed to being emotionally resonant and creatively inspiring so the last thing I want to do is propagate the ‘rockstar’ bullshit that some still regard as asprational.

So I answered each question like this.

1. How has strategic planning changed through the past 10 years.

It’s gone from the shadows into the spotlight.

This is great news, but let’s be careful, because planning should never be the star, it should always be the stage for great things to happen upon. [I know, terrible analogy. Apologies]

2. What is coming next.

I wish I knew. I could make something up but the fact is, there is no pre-determined destination … where it goes is up to us, so let’s not fuck it up.


I don’t know what the other planners asked to answer these questions said – and I’ll be very interested to know – but for me, I am hoping to hell they’re not encouraging planners to believe they are the ‘brains of advertising’, because as my Dad said … if you say you’re intelligent, then you’re not really that smart.