The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

what the fuck are you thinking campbell? what made you do this? it was boredom wasnt it? boredom has just ruined your fucking friendship.

writing about satan on your wifes head when she is asleep is one thing, but this?

and you fucking throw fred to the friendship wolves too. with friends like you, who needs hitler?

i knew you were a strange man campbell but i never knew you were a fucking mental.

thank fuck you dont drink. amazing.

What were you thinking? You’ve just ruined your friendship with the only person who has your infamous “drunk” video on file. Excellent planning.

In your defence, on the evidence provided, Paul does look a little flower happy, especially in the photo where he is trying to replicate Pamela Anderson circa 1985 and that very disturbing gimpesque thing.

I don’t agree with Andrew comparing you to Hitler, but I would say you have strange friends, because despite this I know they still adore you and will laugh. Are they all on drugs?

This is my favourite post. Ever. You’ll be shot on sight but it was worth it.

I didn’t offer you a handjob … you said you were very bored and I simply suggested that if you embarked on a mild dose of masturbation, it might help.

Of course, given you are secretly ‘a gay’ means you might simply be expressing your innermost desires, but this isn’t about upsetting you my dearest, oldest friend – this is about trust, and letting you know I will be there for you even when you admit to an unhealthy obsession with Dale Winton.

Now go have a great holiday – and remember, in a month we’re officially on the ‘final countdown’ to our special holiday in June 2010 so we have to make plans, as long as they don’t involve dropping the soap inthe shower and expecting me to pick it up.

Love to you and your ‘throw-them-off-the-scent’ wife … Rxxx

Right Rob in picture order I would like to contribute:

1) how can you comment on Paul wearing a tie which no doubt his dear Mum has forced on him when you voluntarily used to wear a green felt jacket monday to friday? VOLUNTARILY I stress.

2) Yes the long hair and highlights were a bit of a disaster but I think he proved himself 100% hot blooded male when I said cut them off or I won’t marry you. But then again sadly he probably should not of cut them off and saved us both a tremedous amount of heart ache but thats life for you he never was good enough for me.

3) that photo on the field is no worse than your sad bangok shake poses in fact its far better.

4) that photo and event was entirely master minded by you so you clearly had a desire to see Paul naked with a stocking on his head and being whipped – and at this stage of your life I am almost certain you were still a virgin so who is the gay one?

5) no comment other than Paul looks very smart which is something I can honestly say I have only once seen you look!

Have a lovely holiday Paul and Shelley and look forward to killing Rob when you next see him.

Rob you should know better than to write a post like this its as good as inviting me to comment on Nottingham is the shittiest place on earth ;).

x

1/ So you’re saying it’s Ann’s fault … nice.

And I didn’t wear the green jacket exclusively, there was a fucking awful purple/blue thing as well – but I agree it was better suited to on a TV gameshow host … a gameshow that would be probably be broadcast on Central TV at 5:30pm.

2/ He used a CAN of hairspray a day. A CAN!!! Forget everything else – all I can think of is he caused the ozone problem.

3/ Bangkok Shakes = 1989. Paul = 2008. I rest my case on this point.

4/ Actually on all these points you’re not quite right – but I still remember the look on your and Paul’s Dad’s faces so I am willing to put this photo aside because I did feel a bit of shame in having something [but not all] to do with it.

5/ A bloke is trying to snog him. It doesn’t matter he is smart – a bloke is trying to snog him. And I’ll have you know I’ve been smart 5 times in my life – but then we haven’t seen eachother for bloody years so I appreciate you might not know.

But putting this all aside, you – as well as Mr Hill – know that I love him as much as a man who isn’t gay, could … and for simply bringing back some mad memories, it was worth it.

Hope you’re doing well lovely … take care and speak soon.

Rx

Actually Mr Churchill wasn’t the only one – I think Mr Singer also had a rather big hand in its manifestation. And yes, ‘violet’ is a much better description – though how I wish it wasn’t, haha!

Now I’ve just read/interpreted the nightmare you’ve just gone through – and thank goodness it seems like there’s some positivity now happening – so take care, not just of your family … but of you as well, because whilst you’re a super woman, you’re not superwoman and everyone needs to take care of themselves.

And that is an order.

Rx

Congrats Shelly – this could be the greatest comment EVER in the history of this blog.

You come in. You conquer. You leave.

Typical woman, hahaha!

brilliant. fucking brilliant that was.

Rob,
Please go to Pauls facebook site asap to see the image one of his mates has posted (before he deletes it)!!!!
PS Andy, when Paul is not camping it up or being ‘annally abused’ we sometimes just do normal things like havin pizza n wine on the last day of our hols X

And about as relevant.