The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

It Will Make You Blind And You Can’t Climb Ladders Easily …

A long time ago I wrote about a gum that was designed to stop teenagers whacking off.

Then there was the soap that supposedly made you a virgin again. Or something.

However before you think the ‘anti-sex’ brigade have the monopoly on stupid and ineffective products … don’t forget Vulva aftershave, the scent designed to make men smell like a vagina. A sweaty vagina. Oh how I wish I was joking.

Anyway, I say all this because recently a friend sent me this …

I am hoping he sent it to me because he knew I’d find it amusing, but seriously look at it!

I must admit, when I first saw it, I thought it was a joke but then I visited the URL and it went to a real place.

Now I have to be honest, having read it – I literally don’t know if it’s true or a parody.

If it’s true, it’s hilarious. [And a teensy bit scary]

And if it’s a parody, it’s absolutely brilliant. [Check out the ‘Family Fun’ link]

But here’s the thing, that ‘ad’ states that you can never climb the ladder to heaven if your hands are full of penis.

Despite my best friend being the proud owner of a penis that could easily be mistaken for an international ballistic missile, I’ve never had any penis size issues but I might now if this organisation say’s that the average penis requires 2 hands to control.

Or maybe that’s just people who are going to go to hell.

Which – if it is – is the best ad for sin I’ve ever seen.

Besides, there’ll be more interesting people there … not to mention all my friends.

PS: I promise the blog posts get better this week. Eventually.

UnTruth In Advertising …

Yeah … a fag company advertising their death sticks with the line, “Life. Full On”

OK, so this photo was taken in a market where cigarette advertising is still allowed – which means they’re already behind the times – but unless their interpretation of ‘Life. Full On’ is one Salem fag puts 10 years of hard-livng pressure on your heart and lungs … then they’re a bunch of lying bastards.


For the record, I took this photo in 2006, so there is a very good chance this campaign – and cigarette legislation – has changed. But since when has that ever stopped me.