The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

When Nothing Is Something …

Otis LOVES McDonald’s, so before we left the UK, we decided we’d have some for dinner.

He’s a bit particular about how he likes his Happy Meal, so with that – and the social distancing rules – we used their app to order.

As I was customising his burger [no sauce, no pickles] I discovered the option of having no sauce was unavailable.

THat’s right, you couldn’t, couldn’t have sauce.

Of course it was just a glitch in their system but it did remind me of the time I was in Xiamen in China on a NIKE get-together.

It had been a long and challenging day.

Not with work, but because we had stupidly left our bags, computers and passports in the back of the cab and needed all our powers of deduction and negotiation to get them back.

Trust me, in a city of nearly 4 million people and no details of the cab that had our stuff, that was a pretty big task, but thanks to the brilliance of Charinee and Jenny, we achieved it … so after that drama and then running a workshop for the NIKE Running team … we went back to our hotel tired and hungry.

We decided to have a drink in the bar and order some food.

After looking at the menu, we quickly ordered 2 cheese and tomato pizzas.

“Sorry …” they said, “… we only have pepperoni pizza available”.

By that point, we had set our heart on pizza so I looked at the waited and replied,

“Could we order the pepperoni pizza but without the pepperoni?”

They nodded yes and soon we were munching on our pepperoni pizza … without the pepperoni … with smug smiles on our faces.

And now I’ve told that story, it’s reminded me of the time I used the same logic to get one over on IKEA Hong Kong, who were trying to fuck me over with a new sofa we bought.

Which all goes to show, the best way to beat a process is to use the process against itself, because for all the ‘experience design’ processes that is all the range right now, most of them are built to protect the company rather than satisfy the audience.

20 Comments so far
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Being a smartass asshole is Rob being Rob™.

Comment by Bazza

I’m much nicer these days.

Comment by Rob

Being less smartass asshole is still a smartass asshole.

Comment by Bazza

Bazza FTW.

Comment by DH

Baz wins for simply stating the obvious?

Comment by Pete

Going from McDonald’s sauce to a pizza in China and then an ikea sofa is one of the most random story flows I’ve read on here in a long time. I’m not sure I mean that as a compliment.

Comment by Bazza

I never doubted it for a second.

That said, I owe almost 96% of my random experiences to my life in Asia. No wonder I loved it and miss it so much.

Comment by Rob

Was it Asia or was it you in Asia. Discuss.

Comment by DH

Cheese melt dippers sound more deadly than covid.

Comment by Pete

I would imagine they stay in the system longer than covid.

Comment by George

The ikea story is mischievous genius.

Comment by Pete

It seems the days of the customer always being right are long gone.

Comment by George

Was it ever really a thing for the majority of companies?

Comment by DH

if you were that fucking clever you wouldnt be eating fucking mcdonalds.

Comment by andy@cynic

or be from nottingham.

Comment by andy@cynic

or be a fucking planner.

Comment by andy@cynic

The last comment was the most interesting – experience design being about protecting the company – but then you just left it hanging! Could you write an entry about that? In my industry (museums and galleries) experience design has basically taken over the exhibition development process, and I just find it bullshit. I just find it doesn’t broaden our reach at all, it just centers a different set of users (users, ugh), and it essentially externalizes decision making to focus groups (audience advisory panels, which sound like the group who approve euthanasia requests).

Comment by hutchwilco

Hello there, lovely to have you pop by.

I will write more about this because while I am a huge believe in experience design, I believe it’s been turned into a joke by companies wanting to profit from treating people as robots and making things even more average.

Don’t know if you read this post from a while back, but you may like it.

Or not. Hahaha.

Comment by Rob

Can we hire an experience specialist to evaluate Billy’s dating?

Comment by Bazza

The links on this post have somehow tricked me into reading a total of four posts. Worst experience design ever.

Comment by John

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