Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Context, Daddyhood, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Fatherhood, Holiday, Jill, My Fatherhood, Otis, Relationships, Resonance
Well this is the last post for another week except this time I’m not going away for business, I’m going away with the family for a holiday.
Believe it or not, this is the first family holiday we’ve had in almost 3 years.
Part of that is because we have moved countries twice in the last 3 years … the other part is that when we lived in Manhattan Beach, it felt like we were on holiday whenever we were together.
So this weekend we all go – including Rosie the cat – to a farm for a week.
If I’m honest, I never ever dreamed of going to stay at a farm for a holiday.
Only staying in a tent would be worse.
But whether it’s because I’ve been on a plane so much over the past 6 months or whether it’s because I’m a Dad to a kid who absolutely loves animals … I’m genuinely looking forward to it.
Evolving opinions are a wonderful thing.
While we might think our points of view on life remain fairly static, I love that they can grow or shift.
One of the reasons I’ve kept this blog up for so long is that it’s a reference point for how I have looked at the World over time. Looking back at some old posts reveal how much my opinion on certain subjects has changed.
I love that.
It means an old dog can be taught some new tricks.
Maybe this is because having lived in so many different countries, I’ve always had to be open to how things work … but whatever the reason, I’m happy I’m going to be spending a week feeding cows even if a version of me from the past would rather be a Derby County supporter.
See you in a week.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Happiness, Home, Love, Mum
A few days ago, I received this.
I say ‘I’, but it was addressed to my Mum.
It was an election notice from the Italian Government.
Now I know it’s a bit weird that they are sending something to my Mum, to her old house in England, when she died almost 4 years ago, but it feels so lovely to get it.
Especially given the terribly sad situation regarding my Mum’s sister that occurred this week.
While I’m not a huge believer in ‘signs’, I can’t help but think this is a sign …
Thanks for reminding me you’re always watching out for me Mum.
I’m glad you and your sister can be together again.
Love you. Miss you.
Outside of my Mum and Dad and my best friend Paul, Auntie Silvana has been involved my life the longest.
From my earliest age, I remember her always being there – whether that was arguing with my dad about politics or showing us around London on one of our frequent trips to visit her.
Despite facing many challenges in her life, Auntie Silvana – like her sister – was a fiercely independent woman. She never wanted to rely on someone else for help which is why she could be incredibly stubborn if she disagreed with something someone was trying to make her do. But when I think of her, the memories that flood my mind are of an incredibly kind, incredibly considerate, humble yet generous person.
She only ever wanted the best for others. She would encourage you every step of the way. And when you achieved something – however small – she would celebrate it with genuine happiness and celebration … never wanting or expecting anything in return.
There are so many things I am thankful to Auntie Silvana for. From giving me my first ever television to taking me to my first theatre show to helping my family when we needed it most.
She was a wonderful, kind, worldly and cultured lady and while I am devastated she has gone, there are 3 things I am grateful for.
1. She was able to continue living an independent life till the end. Given her eye problems, that’s testimony to her tenactity.
2. I am able to be here to let her know how much I loved her and how much my wife, Jill and my 4 year old little boy – Otis (who called her ‘Auntie Nana’) – did as well. I will forever be grateful she got to hold my son given my Mum sadly passed away before she could meet him in real life.
3. I am able to repesent my Mum and Dad – who are no longer here but would absolutely want to be if they were around – so they could share their love for her and say thank you for all you did.
Silvana, you were an amazing Auntie to me.
An amazing sister to my Mum.
And an amazing friend to my Dad.
Words will never be able to capture how much I thought of you and while the pain of your loss will last a long, long time … the memory of you will last far longer.
The World is a little less kind for your loss.
I’m happy you can be reunited with your family.
Say hi to Mum for me and thank you for everything.
Tanti Baci.
So on Saturday, my Auntie Silvana passed away.
She was an incredibly kind and generous person but – like my Mum, who was her younger sister – she was also fiercely independent.
A few weeks ago she suffered an illness and sadly, while there were some positive signs, she ultimately succumbed to her ailments.
I am devastated for so many reasons.
The main one is obviously that she’s my Aunt.
She loved me and always wanted the best for me, Jill and Otis.
The second is she was incredibly kind to my family, especially Mum – who loved her so much.
During my early years, she was almost like a guardian angel to us when we encountered some tough times.
The final reason is that she is the last of her generation …
The last link to a group of wonderful people who defined so much of who I am.
While I am happy she is no longer in pain or suffering, I am so, so sad that she has gone.
Her loss will be felt for so long but her memory will last a lifetime.
Goodbye Auntie Silvana. Love you.
Rx
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Emotion, Empathy, Family, Love, Valentine's Day
Don’t worry, I’m still away.
And there won’t be another post tomorrow.
But I couldn’t let today pass without writing something.
As many of you know, I hate Valentine’s Day.
I’ve written about my hatred of this day for years … because the truth is it’s far more about fear than love.
But this year I’m going to change the narrative.
I still think Valentine’s Day is an act of marketing evil, but as it is supposed to be about love, I’m going to express it.
To my wife.
My wonderful, supportive, kind, clever and beautiful wife.
Since we met, I have taken Jill on a hell of a rollercoaster ride.
While I could argue she should have seen the warning signs when I was rushed into hospital within weeks of us meeting [resulting in her first conversation with my Mum being her saying I was having an emergency operation] … the reality is in the 15+ years we have been together, we have experienced, encountered and enjoyed about as much variety of life as you could get.
Birth.
Death.
Adventures.
Adversities.
New countries.
New languages.
Hopes and dreams.
Disappointment and broken promises.
There’s not many people who would leave their home and family to follow a guy she’d only met 6 weeks earlier.
There’s even less people who would then move to Singapore, Hong Kong, China, Los Angeles and England … with the last 3, all happening in the space of 2 years.
And there’s even less people who would do all that when the guy in question is me.
But through it all … through absolutely everything, including the ridiculous Jillysim blog … Jill has stood by me, supporting me and cheering me on, even during times when she could have rightfully said ‘can we press the pause button?’.
Nothing says this more than our time in LA.
Of all the places we lived, she particularly loved the Californian coast.
Not because of the sun, the beach and the lifestyle – but they helped – but because she had a real and vibrant friend network there.
Taking her away from that broke my heart.
She could have said ‘no’ … but she wanted to do what was best for us, not just for her and she knew I wasn’t enjoying my time in LA as I hoped I would. Because of that – and her commitment to us and our relationship – she swapped sun for rain and has embraced everything that has come her way – stuff that has tested many things that are important to her – with openness and acceptance.
I am a stronger and better person because of my wife.
She cares about me in a way that is both wonderful and unbelievable.
Everything I have achieved in the last 15 years is because of her support, brains and commitment to us.
She’s an amazing, talented woman, mother, daughter and all around person.
And while she knows I loathe valentines day with all my heart, I am happy to use this day to say I love her with all my heart.
I owe her so much and so much more.
I still can’t believe I got this lucky.
I love you Jilly.
Rx