Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Australia, Culture, Daddyhood, Emotion, Empathy, Equality, Family, Happiness, Love, Mum & Dad, Otis
Following on from yesterday’s post, I want to talk about the dismay I feel about the Australian government asking for a referendum on whether gay marriage is acceptable.
What offends me even more than the fact this shouldn’t even be an issue is that when there are issues that should have input from the nation – from immigration to military intervention – the decisions are made without any level of consultation.
It makes absolutely no sense, unless the government think gay marriage is more dangerous than defending Australia’s shores.
Actually, they probably think it is.
One of the reasons this issue bothers me is that on top of everything else, my son Otis has an Australian passport.
OK, he also has a British and Canadian one … but should he wish to settle in Australia when he’s older, I want him to have all the rights heterosexuals have, which is why I hope, should he ever need reassurance, he see’s this message that I wrote about marriage equality a while back and knows his Mum and Dad love him and will always support him in his quest for happiness and fulfillment.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Family, Fatherhood, Love, Otis, Parents
That photo is of my son, Otis.
He is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
He is cheeky, curious, kind, loving, beautiful and absolutely full of energy.
Now I’m sure most parents would describe their child like that, but based on a situation we experienced recently, it seems even other parents would regard Otis’ energy as being at another level.
Maybe it’s because he was restricted from going out in China because of the pollution.
Maybe it’s because he’s just loves being with other kids.
Maybe it’s because he is excited and curious about life.
Whatever it is, he can make the Energizer Bunny look like a sloth – and while we love seeing him run around and laugh – some other parents view this as a fault.
A few weeks ago, he was running around while some other kids were sat on the floor. He wasn’t bothering them, but in his excitement, he accidentally fell onto another child.
The reaction of both this other kid – and their parent – was extreme.
They acted like Otis had attacked them, even though he got up and [remember he’s only 2 1/2] said sorry and patted the child on the arm as a way of apologising. [We did the same … apologise I mean]
Apparently that wasn’t enough, because the parent came right up and ‘suggested’ Otis should be given a 2 minute time-out as punishment.
Fuck you!
Who the hell are you to try and dictate how we deal with our son?
Who the hell are you to try and curb his enthusiasm for life?
It was an accident. If it wasn’t, he would have been reprimanded, but he’s a sweet, caring, happy kid and all he did was fall over because his energy was running faster than his little chubby legs could go.
But as much as this parent fucked me off, it taught me a valuable lesson.
Before, when parents saw Otis running around like a happy lunatic, they would say things like, “He’s got a lot of energy hasn’t he?” and I would respond with a World-weary sigh and say something like, “You have no idea.”
But now I don’t.
Now I look at the person and say, “Yes, isn’t it awesome”.
Because it is.
As is my son.
And I’m not going to help a stranger feel better about their self-declared parental expertise by putting him down.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Family, Fatherhood, Otis
So I’m back.
I know … I know … the thought horrifies you. If it’s any consolation, it sort-of horrifies me too.
A huge amount has happened in the month or so I’ve been in LA, but the most important thing is we have settled.
To be honest, it’s been quite quick.
While Jill and I have done this a few times – as has the cat, Rosie – for Otis, it’s been a big change and the kid has handled it brilliantly.
Sure he’s missed his friends, toys and beloved Yaya … but he’s been awesome and I couldn’t be prouder.
I am a massive believer that one of the key criteria for success – or survival – is the ability to adapt to changing times.
That doesn’t mean you have to change your standards or your interests or even what you love, it’s just that you have to embrace the new rather than desperately hold on to the past.
That might sound hypocritical coming from me – a bonafide sentimentalist – but the reality is, my willingness to go where things excite me has enabled me to have the experiences I’ve had and hope still to have … so seeing my son be so positive about such a dramatic change of environment makes me feel he is already setting himself up for a life of adventure.
OK … OK … so maybe I’m overthinking all this, especially as Otis didn’t really have many options available to him once his parents decided to move to LA … but seeing him reach out to kids his age in a bid to bond and form friendships is wonderful to see.
Of course I feel a tinge of sadness witnessing it because I know part of his behaviour is because he feels a sense of isolation and I did that to him and I hate that I did that to him … but watching him adapt to his situation on his own accord is brilliant, especially when so many agencies are still trying to act like it’s the 1980’s.
I have good news and bad news.
The good is this post does not signal the full return of this blog.
The bad is I have still written a post.
Before I begin, to everyone who entered the APSOTW … we’re close to having consolidated feedback and it will [hopefully] be posted in a couple of weeks. Huge apologies for the delay, but with the move – and the usual ‘herding sheep’ – it’s taken longer than I would have liked.
As for the move. Well, after an incredibly emotional goodbye we – Jill, Otis, Rosie the cat and myself – got to America unscathed.
I have to say it was weird having Rosie on board with us – hearing her meow – but given how quickly she acclimatised to her new surroundings, it obviously was a much better experience for her than the other times she has flown in the cargo.
We have been here just under a week and while it’s been rather hectic – organising social security numbers and driving tests and looking for places to live, not to mention enduring some rather extreme jetlag – it has been pretty special.
Not just because we got to spend time together exploring our new surroundings, but because we had family visiting America so we got to hang out with them too.
But more than that, everyone has been super nice to us. Everyone.
Strangers, government officials, [soon-to-be-new] colleagues … people have gone out of their way to make us feel welcomed.
Even the immigration officer was nice when we entered the country and that literally has never happened to me before.
There is a little park near us where we have taken Otis on a number of occasions. Every single time, a different family have come up to us and said hello and offered to help with anything we need. Even if they’re just saying it – and I don’t think they are as they gave us their phone numbers – I’ve got to be honest, it’s pretty lovely.
And don’t get me started on how amazing the community-run, hippy, mandarin-speaking, creative-focused pre-school is …
Of course it’s early days so I know I’ll find stuff that drives me fucking insane [like the whole tipping protocol] but when I see the smile on Otis’ face as he runs along the beach, I know that as much as I love – and miss – China, this was the right thing to do for my little family.
So of course, now I am in a new country, I need a new blog header and as you can see from above, Jill has worked her magic again.
Or should I say, worked her imagination.
Though after 6 days in LA, I must admit I have grown to have a bit more respect for Mr Hulk Hogan, because how anyone can have a body like that when every place serves food in quantities that would be too much for an elephant, is anyone’s guess.
I miss you China but I like you LA.
Filed under: Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Daddyhood, Family, Mum & Dad, Otis, Parents
So today will be the last post for a while.
Surprisingly, it is not because I’m going on holiday, it is because my beloved Otis needs a little operation and we’re going to have it done in Australia.
Just to be clear, it is a little operation but it still scares me to death.
Part of that is because I don’t want any child of 23 months to require a general anaesthetic.
Part of that is because I don’t want to see the worry and concern in my wonderful wife’s eyes.
Part of that is because the last time I was in a hospital, my beloved Mum died.
Part of that is because we just love him so so much.
And while I appreciate that compared to many, our situation is not very dramatic … it is a very concerning time for us right now, so wish us luck.
If things all go well [and they will, they will] then this blog will be back on December 5th but until then, I’d like to leave you with one of my favourite videos of my brilliant son.
I love it for so many reasons.
His enthusiasm.
His unadulterated joy.
His participation … both in [Chinese] words and actions.
The way he quickly adapts to the dance when he makes a mistake at around 55 seconds.
And then, at 1 minute 2 seconds, when he morphs into a dance that Bez from The Happy Mondays would be proud of before hearing the music start again [1 minute 12 seconds] and bopping his head to the beat.
Otis, you’re perfect to your Mummy and Daddy … never forget that.