A few weeks ago, I wrote about a male scent that was based on the movie, Friday The 13th.
In the post, I’ve waxed lyrical about how the scent category makes absolutely no sense and yet [1] it kinda does, given what it’s ultimately selling and [2] as much as I laugh at it, I also kinda love it.
I say that because recently I saw the name of a Tom Ford scent …
Noir Extreme!
NOIR EXTREME!!!
Hahahahahaha …
When I saw it, I couldn’t help think of this scene from the mockumentary, Spinal Tap.
I can just imagine the scene at the naming meeting.
Boss:
“We need it to sound dark and mysterious”.
Overly keen exec:
“What about ‘noir’ … that seems it fits the bill”.
Boss:
“Yes, but we need it to be more emotive … more masculine … more dark”.
Overly keen exec:
“What about Raw Noir?”.
Boss:
“Not dark enough”
Overly keen exec:
“What about Noir Noir?”.
Boss:
“Sounds too much like an 80’s pop band”.
Overly keen exec:
“I’ve got it … I’ve got it … what about Noir Extreme?”.
Boss:
“I love it … there’s nothing more noir than extreme noir”.
Which is why as much as strategy likes to talk about ‘laddering’ … to get to push ideas to new places, there’s no one more adept at it than the scent industry. Which is why it can only be a matter of time before we can look forward to a range of male scents with names like ‘Vicious Death’, ‘Hardcore Evil’ or – potentially the most extreme of all – ‘Pong Like Putin’.
You heard it here first. Ahem.
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Attitude & Aptitude, Audio Visual, Marketing, Names
So I saw this beverage fridge a week or so ago …
I can’t help but wonder if the ‘effi’ of efficold is meant to mean ‘efficient cold’ or ‘effin’ cold’.
Or maybe it’s the most genius name ever …
Letting cafe owners who have the fridge on their premises think it’s for efficiency so they don’t worry about the increase in their electric bill while letting hot, thirsty Londoners believe they’re about to consume a beverage that is fucking cold and will quench their thirst once and for all.
If only all brand names were so multi-interpretive because quote frankly, that is a better naming strategy than anything I’ve seen from any of the brand consultancies …
Have a great weekend. I know I will, it’s a long weekend here.
See you Tuesday.
So I was in a toyshop recently when I saw this …
Now I appreciate this might say more about how my brain works rather than the manufacturers, but does this sound dodgy to you?
Woodman?
WOODMAN?
OK, so the thing is made of wood, but come on …
Look at the pose of that ‘icon’.
Hands on hips.
Thrusting groin.
Shit-eating smirk on its face.
This is pure filth masquerading as innocence.
Then there’s the fact we’re talking about a toy that is a big, steam engine that is thrusting itself into a deep, dark tunnel and the manufacturers may as well just slap a ‘Pornhub’ logo on the box and be done with it.
I know … I know … I’m talking utter shite, but it’s Monday morning so what do you expect?
And before anyone starts questioning me on this chart, just know I would agree with you.
I hate this sort of infographic because it’s been designed purely to gain PR headlines and drive dinner party conversation rather than shine a light on hard facts.
Why do I say that?
Well because I don’t believe their methodology would have been robust enough to make a claim like this.
For example, did they really look at the names of every major corporations CEO?
In every country?
And what does a ‘major corporation’ even mean?
By staff? By revenue? By profit?
But even if I ignore that, the fact that proves their data is flawed is the simple reality that there’s no way any shareholder would allow anyone called Robert to be CEO of a big company – let alone 3.4% of all major corporations.
That said, I believe the female statistic.
It would be funny if it wasn’t so utterly disgusting and tragic.
The percentages are even worse in Hollywood as this video so beautifully highlights:
For the record, while I found the way they delivered the horrendous percentages very funny, I do feel the men vs woman message is not going to achieve anything for them. Especially in the ego-filled movie industry.
Personally, I’d suggest that with so many famous and wealthy actresses in the biz – and some in the video – they should think about setting up a female run studio and show the men what they’re missing out on.
Apart from the fact ‘success is the greatest revenge’, the fact is all they need are 2 hits in a row and the rest of the business will shift because Hollywood is a copycat industry, preferring to swallow its pride rather than miss out on making an extra $1.
But that’s just me.
Oh … and while I’m at it, I probably do believe that John is the most popular CEO name.
It’s not because they are naturally gifted individuals … but because the name is safe, solid, conservative that might influence the board of directors at big companies to think they would make a more stable CEO. Someone who won’t rock the boat … someone who will keep the shareholders quiet … someone who won’t get rid of their perks.
Maybe.
Anyway, this has become a very long post for something I think is bollocks, so I’ll leave it there, even though I know most of you stopped reading after the picture.
Filed under: Airports, Brand, Brand Suicide, Comment, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Names, Singapore
I was in Singapore recently, when I passed this shop …
Now I’ve written a lot about naming protocols and systems in the past – and while some have proven to be very smart, far more have been unmitigated bollocks.
And while I appreciate Kaboom doesn’t seem too bad a name, I should point out this was at Singapore Airport and so in terms of associations … giving your shop a name that references the sound a bomb makes – just as you are about to board your plane – probably is not the best choice you could have made.
Hell, even their logo looks like how cartoons show an explosion.
What next, 7-Eleven change their name to 9-Eleven?
OK, I’m taking the piss … but for all the naming protocols and processes I’ve been taken through over the years, not one has talked about ‘location geography’ which reinforces what I have often felt is wrong with many of the processes out there.
They give you everything you don’t need, but not enough of what you do.
Happy Monday.