The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


It’s Not A Revelation When You’re Late To The Party …

I’m back.

And I had a great, great birthday.

Hopefully, so did Jill and Paul.

And to make sure you don’t feel left out, you also get a present – and that’s the present of only having 2 blog posts this week.

You’re welcome.

That said, my great birthday was ruined when someone sent me this …

What the absolute fuck.

I mean … come on.

H2H.

H 2 bloody H.

It’s a bit like when Mondelez announced they were all about humaning or something.

Why is this a big thing to them?

Who the fuck did they think they were talking to before?

What makes it even funnier is that it appears they don’t seem to realise what this announcement says about who they really are.

Imagine what clients or staff think?

“Hey, we have gone from looking at you as emotionless, automated, programmable bots to now valuing your emotional needs. Which we have created a framework, playbook and eco-system to manage seamlessly and profitably”.

And yet I bet they still call their customers, ‘consumers’.

While I’m happy that big brands are starting to understand that people are not simply walking wallets to bestow even more ‘bonus bucks’ on their senior management, I don’t hold out much hope their work will get much better given it’s 2021 and they’ve just worked this out.

Seriously, for all the knowledge, research and information so many big companies have at their disposal, it’s frightening how much of the basics they simply don’t even understand.


18 Comments

so you decided to come back after days of fucking freebies. good job you came back full of piss and vinegar or youd need a smacking.

Comment by andy@cynic

every fucker behind this needs smashing in the face by a human.

i call it f2f which means fist to face. what a bunch of fucking pricks.

Comment by andy@cynic

F2F has so many possibilities … all perfectly horrible. Hahaha.

Comment by Rob

People should be fired for this. Including the internal PR team who thought this was worth promoting.

Comment by George

Glad you all had a great birthday.

Comment by George

when the fuck has campbell not had a great birthday. he gets even more fucking freebies than every other fucking day.

Comment by andy@cynic

That is a well made point.

Comment by George

Didn’t get as many as usual this year.

Must try harder.

Comment by Rob

youre fucking slipping campbell its definitely not because youre becoming less of a fucking blagging bastard.

Comment by andy@cynic

While I’m not sure any company can be human, thisone certainly isn’t.

Comment by John

Your comment reminds me of Joel Bakan’s book, The Corporation. Have you read it? If not, I think you may enjoy it.

Comment by George

I’ve not heard of it. I’ll get the birthday boy to buy it for me.

Comment by John

You mean Paul? I’ll ask him to get you a copy.

Comment by Rob

on fucking brand campbell.

Comment by andy@cynic

End of days.

Comment by Bazza

I think this is a real transcript from the Mondelez marketing meeting ->

“Hey, we have gone from looking at you as emotionless, automated, programmable bots to now valuing your emotional needs. Which we have created a framework, playbook and eco-system to manage seamlessly and profitably”.

Comment by Pete

Once again, Andy@cynic delivers the goods.

Comment by David

of course i do and still no fucker pays me a fucking thousand dollars per comment for it. bunch of cheap ass parasite pricks.

Comment by andy@cynic




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