The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


If All My Posts Are Stupid, This Is More Stupid Than Usual …

There’s been a few things that have made little sense to me over the last few weeks.

One of them is why a hotel would have this as their bedside lamp …

Look at it.

LOOK AT IT.

Seriously, who thought this would be a good idea?

Sticking a bunch of different sized, acrylic squares, on a lamp stand is the sort of thing you would expect to see in a 1986 episode of Blue Peter, not a 2020, just-refurbished, supposedly fancy-pants[ish] hotel.

Given the bits of plastic move, I can just imagine the designer/salesperson making some narrative up about it being ‘playful’ and other excuses to cover up the fact it’s a bit shit.

Then there’s this fruit truck I saw recently …

I know I am being especially petty, but why would you trust a fruit company who thinks a strawberry and an apple are the same size as a banana.

Unless they’re a fruit company that specialises in genetically modified fruit.

And lastly there’s this …

They are – supposedly – some of the spiciest noodles you can get anywhere in the World.

They’re so spicy, that it’s become an internet sensation [TM Daily Mail] with countless videos on Youtube of people destroying their tastebuds in the quest for a laugh.

Well, as someone with zero tastebuds – and taste, for that matter – and a best mate who doesn’t need persuading to do stupid things – we decided, as you can see by the picture at the very top of this post – that we would have a go at this ‘so-called-challenge’.

To cut a very long story short, the winner was not the one who was once a bouncer but the one who once cried his eyes out at the final episode of The Wonder Years and now believes he could be SAS material.

You can watch the very sad journey to taste-bud destruction below.


18 Comments

You proved me wrong Rob. I thought the post about the front door from a few weeks ago was the lowest of the low.

Comment by Bazza

Always exceeding expectations. Ahem.

Comment by Rob

fucking stop it campbell. youre making the internet more dangerous than the fucking pedos.

Comment by andy@cynic

The hot noodle eating is more proof you have been trained by satan.

Comment by Bazza

You could not tempt me to eat those spicy noodles, but it was amusing to watch you and Paul. What a ridiculous pair you are together.

Comment by Lee Hill

You sound like you’ve been talking to Jill and Paul’s wife, Shelly. Hahaha.

Comment by Rob

With the title of this post, no one can accuse you of not being self aware Robert.

Comment by George

You can if you’re talking about his fashion and music tastes.

Comment by Bazza

Harsh but fair.

Comment by George

You’re being harsh on the truck. They may have failed to capture the correct dimensions or perspective but you can tell what it is. You seem to be enjoying the freakishly spicy noodles. But I fully endorse your view on the lamp. Horrible from every angle.

Comment by George

You’re defending the honour of a badly painted fruit truck. Seems the stupidity of this post has rubbed off onto the commentators. Haha.

Comment by Rob

just tell him hes a prick george. theyre the only words he understands.

Comment by andy@cynic

Yesterday you wrote about your Fiat ad and highlighted how it celebrated the similarities between Chinese and Italian cultures. After watching the video of you and Paul, I believe the same could be said about your noodle eating technique.

Comment by Pete

you mean he eats like a fucking great dane trying to eat out of a small bowl.

Comment by andy@cynic

The noodle eating is the most male thing I’ve seen you do.

Comment by Billy Whizz

That and the time I used a power drill for the first time and found it so manly, I drilled so many screws into the leg of my table football, that the removal men would always have to pack it ‘whole’ when we moved countries because there was no way they could take it apart.q

Comment by Rob

The sad thing is that this post was probably pre-written and premeditated.

Comment by Marcus

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