The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

And your parenting.

I also noted how I’d been suckered into validating their commentary.

Until I came to my senses.

The story is Otis was – and still is – an energetic kid.

When we lived in Shanghai, LA and London, we would go out a lot and he would be a whirlwind of excited, happy energy.

It was – admitedly – relentless.

Whether 3pm or 3am, he seemed to always want to play, smile, laugh, do things with his adoring parents.

Often, when we were out, we would see people looking at him running around the park, shouting to himself … and then saying to me, “he’s got a lot of energy hasn’t he?”

And while they weren’t saying it as a diss, they weren’t saying it as a compliment either.

What makes it worse is I would reply with a weary, “you better believe it”.

Then one day I realised what I was doing.

My son … my wonderful, brilliant, joyous son was being judged by his Dad.

Worse, he did it to let perfect strangers feel justified in their fucked-up judgement.

What the hell?!

Otis wasn’t doing anything wrong … plus he was 2 or 3 years old for fucks sake.

More than that, he has always had a very strong sense of justice and fairness and so the last thing he would ever want to do is cause others discomfort.
And he wasn’t, he was just running around … exploering and experiencing the World.

I felt an immense amount of anger – more at myself, but definitely at the ‘critics’ as well – and vowed that would never happen again.

And it didn’t and it doesn’t.

Because when anyone said/say’s that to me about Otis, I now reply … “I know, isn’t it great”, and they always look at me before slowly nodding, either because they feel they have to or because they realise the problem isn’t my kid, but their increasingly small mindedness and old-person energy.

I say this because I recently watched this …

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I am sure there will be people out there who will say it’s unprofessional.
That her actions are encouraging her child to be more ‘needy and demanding’.
That she just made a huge career limiting move, undermining all the hard work she has put in.

And they’re entitled to their opinion except it doesn’t matter.

Not in the slightest, however much you think it does or tell yourself it does.

Hell, even if you were one of the judges critiquing her dance, it doesn’t … because while you may have a certain amount of power in your hands in terms of what the implications of her actions will be, the reality is they won’t care.

Because whatever you think is more important than their child, you’re wrong.

They may do things you wouldn’t.
They may value things that you think they shouldn’t.
Their child may need things you would never consider.

But it’s NOT YOUR CHILD so it literally doesn’t matter.

In fact, unless you think the child is in real danger – or a cause of real danger to others – you should be minding your own business. And even if they are in – or causing – danger, your actions should be pointed to people who can legally or professionally help, rather than think you have unconditional rights.

I love what this gymnast did.
For me, it was beautiful both in terms of her talent and her love.
Even more so, at a time where Linkedin is overflowing with people acting like ‘winning justifies any sacrifice’.

With AI impacting our lives in increasingly dramatic ways, ‘family’ is the one thing AI can never replace.

It will try.
But it will fail.
Because while family is universal, it’s deeply personal and individual … which is why the best advice for anyone thinking of discussing/judging/commenting on the innocent actions or behaviour of a child that isn’t yours, is this.

“Are you the parents of the child?”

If not, SHUT THE FUCK UP.

You’re welcome.

Good news: I am away until Friday so you can enjoy a few days peace after that rant-fest.

You’re welcome. Again.