The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Used And Abused …

So I was recently interviewed for a podcast and one of the questions was, “what do your colleagues think of you?”

Of course, I replied that to answer that, they should talk to them rather than me … but then realised I could give an entirely accurate response.

Not with words, but images, so I sent them these …

These are Mike and Sam, a freelance creative team we have in the place.

They’re very talented – though I discovered their greatest talent is stealing my iPad and taking countless photos of themselves in the knowledge they will also show up on my iPhone is one of the main ones.

Sam. Again. This time using his deceptively long limbs to try and place my laptop in the ceiling.

After complaining to a couple of colleagues that my eye was in pain, I received this steampunk monocle to wear to a client meeting.

Followed up with Megan – who looks like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth – sending me a photo of her doing an impression of me.

She claims it was her way of showing ‘sympathy’. She is lying.

And how do I know that?

Because a few days later, her and Amelia sent me an SMS that said this.

Nice eh?

Throw in photos where I am asked to put a small sheepskin mat that is normally placed on a motorcycle seat – so yes, I am literally having someones ass on my head – I think this just about sums up what my colleagues think of me.

Now of course I know you can’t show any of these pictures on a podcast … but you can convey what they capture in terms of respect and motivation … and they capture there is no respect or motivation.


30 Comments

It’s still not what you deserve. Though “we’ve already planned your murder” steps things up a lot.

Comment by Bazza

That’s a bit harsh. Besides, I believe encouraging murder is treated the same as threatening it.

Comment by George

I hope you enjoy your prison food Baz!

Comment by Rob

stop being a fucking goody goody wanker auntie g.

Comment by andy@cynic

That monocle look actually suits you. WTF?

Comment by Bazza

It does. But the real WTF moment is I think Rob is wearing an anti social social club top. When did he start making cool fashion choices?

Comment by Pete

It can’t be.

Comment by Bazza

It can. 🤯

Comment by Pete

It most definitely is ASSC. Has that brand ever been worn with birkenstocks before? It has now. Robert may be claiming this is a post about his colleagues using and abusing him, but the revelations in this post are shock and aweing me.

Comment by George

Rob might not be the person you would expect to wear that brand but the name of it definitely suits Rob’s brand.

Comment by Pete

Hahahahaha … you have no idea how many people have said that. Always with a mix of surprise and sheer distain. Helps when your mate is the distributor for them and sends you 10 different versions of hoodie. I tried to warn him I could ruin the cool of his brand and he said, “you need it more than us”.

Best insult I’ve had in ages. Hahaha.

Comment by Rob

Freebies. Of course.

Comment by Bazza

I should have known.
It could have been any freebie, it just happens to be a very cool one. Though you get a disproportionate amount of cool stuff so maybe there is more strategy in your blagging than I thought.

Comment by Pete

its next level nottingham thieving. where the fuckers actually hand it over and dont even need a knife in their neck.

Comment by andy@cynic

Innovation.

Comment by George

A twisted Robin Hood. Steals from the rich to give to himself.

Comment by DH

In that case my name should be, Robbing Good.

Boom Tish.

Comment by Rob

you sad sad sad sad sad fuck.

Comment by andy@cynic

Maybe it’s the beard but it does. Incredible.

Comment by George

I know … it shocked me too,

It looks a bit high on my head, but it actually was because it was made for the other eye. Who knew monocles had left or right versions. Or at least steam punk monocles.

Comment by Rob

More like the skew wiff of Nottingham.

Comment by John

You have fun people working with you.

Comment by Katerina

He has deeply traumatised people working with him.

Comment by John

You only got away from his shit K because he relied on you for diet coke.

Comment by Billy Whizz

No one would dare give Katerina problems. Especially when she was seeing that KGB guy,

(Sorry Katerina ; ) )

Comment by Pete

True.

Comment by Bazza

Wacky adfolk.

Comment by John

you used a c instead of an n.

Comment by andy@cynic

+ 1

Comment by DH




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