The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

We live at a time where the urge to rush to judgement seems omnipresent, however we often forget that each of us is going through personal situations that can affect how we behave and so what we experience may not be who the other party really is.

There’s this quote that says something like, “if we knew the troubles that weighed on the minds of the people we talk to, we might react to what they say in a very different way”.

And that quote is right, however in our rush-rush, myopic state-of-mind, we rarely stop to even consider that – let alone explore it – so the results we get might never be as positive as they could be if we had just stopped for a beat and thought of the other person.

That’s what this post was going to be about but then something happened.

You see recently I discovered someone betrayed my trust.

The irony is what they told another party was incorrect.

But that doesn’t make it any better.

And then I remembered that quote that says, “the worst thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies” and they’re right.

I liked this person.

I still do.

But for some reason they thought it was right to do something that was wrong.

And right there, things got damaged because trust is everything in a relationship … whether that’s with a loved one, a colleague or a client.

Trust means you can disagree without any lasting damage.

Trust means you can let people explore things you don’t understand.

Trust means you can let teams go to the wire before they reveal their work.

Because trust is about believing the other person has your back … that their standards, goals and expectations match yours.

That doesn’t mean you’ll always like what they’ve done, but it does mean you can be honest about it and they’ll listen to you and you’ll listen to them. Not because you want to necessarily have a ‘compromise’ on the outcome, but because you want to make sure what you’re doing is the work the person best placed to make that call wants to make.

The work that excites them … or makes them laugh or simply shit-their-pants.

And while it would be nice to think trust happens simply by spending time together, it doesn’t.

The reality is trust comes slowly.

It tests you.

It see’s what you’re made of at the most vulnerable times.

But when you have it, it’s the most amazing feeling you can have.

It liberates you.

It lets you literally get to places bigger that you could ever get to on your own.

And that’s why I am always willing to let someone I trust make mistakes, but never when it’s to save their own neck.

Which is why trust is so hard to earn and so quick to lose.