The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Trust Is The Most Important Word In Everything …

Originally this was going to be a post about patience.

We live at a time where the urge to rush to judgement seems omnipresent, however we often forget that each of us is going through personal situations that can affect how we behave and so what we experience may not be who the other party really is.

There’s this quote that says something like, “if we knew the troubles that weighed on the minds of the people we talk to, we might react to what they say in a very different way”.

And that quote is right, however in our rush-rush, myopic state-of-mind, we rarely stop to even consider that – let alone explore it – so the results we get might never be as positive as they could be if we had just stopped for a beat and thought of the other person.

That’s what this post was going to be about but then something happened.

You see recently I discovered someone betrayed my trust.

The irony is what they told another party was incorrect.

But that doesn’t make it any better.

And then I remembered that quote that says, “the worst thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies” and they’re right.

I liked this person.

I still do.

But for some reason they thought it was right to do something that was wrong.

And right there, things got damaged because trust is everything in a relationship … whether that’s with a loved one, a colleague or a client.

Trust means you can disagree without any lasting damage.

Trust means you can let people explore things you don’t understand.

Trust means you can let teams go to the wire before they reveal their work.

Because trust is about believing the other person has your back … that their standards, goals and expectations match yours.

That doesn’t mean you’ll always like what they’ve done, but it does mean you can be honest about it and they’ll listen to you and you’ll listen to them. Not because you want to necessarily have a ‘compromise’ on the outcome, but because you want to make sure what you’re doing is the work the person best placed to make that call wants to make.

The work that excites them … or makes them laugh or simply shit-their-pants.

And while it would be nice to think trust happens simply by spending time together, it doesn’t.

The reality is trust comes slowly.

It tests you.

It see’s what you’re made of at the most vulnerable times.

But when you have it, it’s the most amazing feeling you can have.

It liberates you.

It lets you literally get to places bigger that you could ever get to on your own.

And that’s why I am always willing to let someone I trust make mistakes, but never when it’s to save their own neck.

Which is why trust is so hard to earn and so quick to lose.

Because as they say, united we stand divided we fall.

21 Comments so far
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I’m sorry to hear this Robert. Did you confront the individual or have you just cut them out?

Comment by Lee Hill

I dealt with the situation head on. As I said, I like this person and so the best demonstration of that was to deal with it rather than just move away from it. As I’ve said to Dave in another comment, it’s not dealt with and it’s business as usual. Except I won’t forget this happened.

Comment by Rob

Trust is the most important word in business and relationships. It is also used too freely by most people.

Comment by Lee Hill

thats what my attorney said to my ex in the allimony negotiations. i would trust a criminal weasel more than her.

Comment by andy@cynic

Criminal weasel is one of the best evil descriptions I’ve heard.

Comment by DH

if you didnt fire bomb their house youve gone fucking soft.

Comment by andy@cynic

“Trust means you can let teams go to the wire before they reveal their work.”

didnt fucking trust me then did you. always whining we had to go because the meeting was starting in 5 minutes.

Comment by andy@cynic

Except you forgot to mention it was always literally 5 minutes before meetings.

Comment by Rob

Why are you surprized by this, you work in advertising.

Comment by Billy Whizz

This means whoever tried to screw you over a more professional adman than you will ever be. It also means they’re an idiot for not knowing you always get revenge even if you have to wait 10 years. It’s the main thing I like about you.

Comment by Billy Whizz

He gets his revenge by making them read one of his presentations.

Comment by DH

That’s only for the worst culprits.

Comment by Rob

What if this person who betrayed you had troubles you didn’t know about? Not trying to be a smartass, it’s a genuine question.

Comment by DH

They were – and while it’s still no excuse – it meant my response was more constructive than destructive, and you know how hard that would have been for me. It’s been dealt with and it’s over … I hold no malice and it’s business as usual except I will never forget it happened.

Comment by Rob

The new usual is different from the old usual.

Comment by John


Comment by andy@cynic

PSA – Marcus left a good comment on yesterday’s post. If you missed it, go remedy that.

Comment by John

How very lovely of you, John.

Comment by Marcus Brown

Yes he did. A very good comment.

Comment by Rob

I imagine your honesty is disarming for corporate America. Especially those who reside and work in Los Angeles.

Comment by Pete

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