The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

The Most Ridiculous Phone Management System In The World …

American companies – like every other country in the World – love automated telephone systems.

To actually get to speak to a real human, is harder than earning a PHD in astrophysics.

But what makes me laugh is how they try so so hard to make it sound like you’re talking to a real person when it’s painfully obvious you’re not.

However, in America, it has reached new heights.

I was organizing Direct TV and was having to repeat my answer to every question asked by the ‘automated human’ because it doesn’t understand British accents when – finally – it accepted my answer.

Imagine my surprise when immediately after, I heard the sound effect of a person typing.

Seriously, it was trying to suggest they were literally inputing my answer into their system.

If that wasn’t mental enough, the sound they used sounded awfully like a typewriter from the 1920’s.

Apart from the fact that a supposed high-tech company shouldn’t feel embarrassed about not using real people, if they really believe genuine human interaction is more desirable for customers than a computer, then HIRE SOME FUCKING HUMANS.

Another example where a consultancy has come in to improve efficiency and ignored reality.

15 Comments so far
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Yes! Yes! Yes!
I’ve experienced this with Direct TV and some others too. I don’t understand what it is trying to do. It sounds ridiculous and adds unnecessary time to the call. The absolute opposite of efficiency and customer care.

Comment by George

Yes it is. It’s utter insanity. I must admit the first time it happened I had to ring back just to see if it was true rather than me just imagining it.

Comment by Rob

I don’t know if they did this to improve efficiency and more customer satisfaction scores. Whatever the reason, they failed.

Comment by Pete

Yes … I’d absolutely love to hear the rationale for it and whether they dare evaluate its success.

Comment by Rob

Had you considered the possibility that once the system fails to understand three times, it defaults to a real human who then types in the answer?

Comment by John

I’ll try that …

Comment by Rob

Is the picture the new robot you’re working on at google towers?

Comment by Billy Whizz

Very droll Billy.

Comment by George

Made me laugh. Sorry George.

Comment by Rob

Voice recognition detected your Nottingham drawl and determined you’d put up with slow service.

Comment by John

Next generation corporate management systems.

Comment by George

Compared to Chinese internet, America’s slowest is my hyper speed.

Comment by Rob

Except when you’re talking about internet banking.

Comment by DH

getting to talk to a fucking human is like working out how to split the fucking atom. and then most of the time they cant help you so youre double fucked. and not in a pornhub way.

Comment by andy@cynic

That’s Metal Mickey isn’t it?
I’m surprised you’ve not bought it Rob.

Comment by DH

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