Many years ago, Toby Young wrote a book by the name of this post.
It was a journey through his bad decisions, bad timing and bad acts.
And while there was a lot of genuinely funny moments in it, you couldn’t help think he was a bit of a twat – which was confirmed with many of his later actions, decisions and behaviour.
I say this because recently I had a dalliance with someone who could best be described as Toby Young, without the humour.
Look, I work in advertising so I’m used to working with twats.
There’s actually a lot less of them than people like to think, but the ones who are there are generally stupendous at twatdom.
But this interaction was not someone I work with … it was someone on Linkedin.
Yes … Linkedin. The platform that is to community what Boris Johnson is to leadership.
Now even though this person and I are not ‘connected’, I do kind-of know him.
He was in Asia when I was there and had a reputation for grandiose statements that rarely could be backed up.
Anyway, I hadn’t heard about him or seen him for literally years, so I was surprised when a few weeks ago, he suddenly came into my life.
He did this by writing a comment under a Linkedin post I’d put up about one of the biggest mistakes a planner can make.
He asked:
What’s the difference between thinking and planning according to you? And is there a difference? And how do you see modern day account planning influencing business and corporate strategy which is really what CEO’s want to see – they’re not interested in ads or creativity unless its making them money?
I answered as best I could … saying I felt he was implying some planners didn’t care about the impact creativity had on the clients business, just their ego and if that’s the case, maybe he’s spending time with the wrong planners, clients and creatives.
In the blink of an eye, he responded with these 2 gems:
First this …
“I’m not implying anything- I’m asking a question. I be;lieve that’s valid on a social media platform. What I’ve foudn theough Experience s that sometimes it’s better to just answer instead of reading too much into it.”
[Spelling mistakes were his, not mine]
And then this …
“You really don’t get social, do you? You can’t be focused and social at the same time. I’ve been studying clinical psychology and the mind for 7 years. It’s two ends of the same frequency . Planners are focused (head) creatives are social (HEART). Open your heart my friend before a surgeon does the job for you. Good luck. You’re mucking around with someone with a lot of medical knowledge and experience.”
That second comment was bizarre.
Judgemental. Condescending. Patronising. Almost threatening.
I have to be honest, I was quite impressed. It’s been a long time since I’ve come across such a prick who can get so personal and so insulting so quickly.
But then it got weirder, because he then sent this:
Seriously, what the fuck?
From slagging me off to interrogating the most stupid shit [like my bloody camouflage background????] to then asking me to give him free information and advice so he can win a client and charge them money for his ‘help’.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised because Linkedin is full of people who think they can just ask or say whatever they want as long as it benefits them. I’m sure we’ve all had headhunters contact us for names of people they should talk to – when they’re literally being paid by clients to know people who they should talk to.
But there’s something about this persons manner that pisses me off.
Maybe it’s the contradiction between acting superior but still wanting stuff.
I can’t help but feel he is someone who read Neil Strauss’, ‘The Game‘ [who also wrote Motley Crue’s, admittedly great, The Dirt … which tells you a lot] and saw it as a philosophy for how to live rather than the exploitative, manipulative and destructive book it actually was.
Part of me really wants to name and shame him.
If he’s doing that to me, what is he like to others.
Women. Or juniors. Or anyone to be honest.
But I won’t because who knows what he’s going through however – as I mentioned in my final response to him – for all his alleged expertise in clinical psychology and social platforms, he sure hasn’t got the faintest idea how to communicate with people.
So I’ll leave him be but if he does comes back [again] I’ll simply point him to this post and hope he understands the responsibility for clarity of communication is with the communicator, not the recipient. Something tells me, he wouldn’t.
But what all this shows is a mistake that companies, platforms and agencies continually make with the idea of community.
I get why it’s so interesting to them, but the problem is – what they think is a community, isn’t.
A community isn’t where you go to continually satisfy your own needs.
In essence, that’s the total opposite of a community.
What a real community is something built on shared beliefs and values … where you want to work together to help push or achieve a common goal. It absolutely isn’t about personal benefit at others expense, it’s about something much, much bigger.
And while it’s power and influence can be enormous …
Linkedin doesn’t get this.
Agencies flogging membership and community doesn’t get this.
And this ‘competitive strategist’ doesn’t get this.
Because the key rule for a real community is about adding to it, not just taking.