The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Hell, the Aussie’s say the British whinge but compared to this lot, we’re strictly 4th division.

Given the smallest currency domination in Singapore is a 5 cent coin … it’s obvious the bill had to be rounded up or there would of been no way for the person to pay the bloody bill.

[And you can keep your “… but on a credit card it would of been able to be paid without rounding up” rubbish to yourselves!]

Jesus, it’s not like they went from $1.21 to $1,000 is it – they went from $22.04 to $22.05.

Photo: Stonetako920

… and in true corporate toady style, their ad agency have incorporated the arc into all executions.

They’ve made it represent a bridge between where you [the customer] are, and where you can be with Citibank’s expert help.

Of course it’s as cliched as hell – like all those ‘we care’ and ‘partnership’ ads the banks have been churning out for decades – however the reason I’m writing about this is because I’ve just seen a new execution of this campaign that if I didn’t know better, I’d swear had been done as a pisstake by some cheeky creatives.

Dreams to realities.

Who the hell are they trying to kid?

The World is in economic hell – of which Citibank are one of the guilty parties – and they are still putting out ads claiming their expertise can help people achieve their dreams.

Well I tell you what Mr Citibank, I think a lot of people’s dreams were to not lose their savings, pension or houses – but you haven’t exactly crowned yourself in glory with ‘promise’ have you?

Wankers.

I actually believe it’s a really good time for a bank to advertise – however this sort of mindless shit just pisses people off – just like reading about bankers who say they are economising by buying $100 dollar bottles of wine instead of $1,000 and/or only buying 2nd hand FIVE FIGURE WATCHES instead of brand new.

Give me a gun and a few of their addresses and I’ll do the World a favour.

Anyway, getting back to the ad …

Why on earth didn’t the agency point out how this ad could alienate the public?

As I said, maybe it was the agencies way of having a little dig – but I doubt it.

The only thing I can hope for is this is Citibank’s way of apologising for being naughty little boys and girls.

What do I mean?

Well maybe Citibank are admitting they sold people “DREAMS” but could only give them a horrible reality?

I guess we’ll know for sure if the next ads feature …

High Interest Rate becomes Homeless

Savings becomes Debt

Bank becomes Building For Sale

Funnily enough, a very conservative bank that we pitched for last year [and lost] approached us a few days ago because they now realise our proposed core idea [Sometimes It’s Good To Be A Little Slower] would be incredibly attractive to members of the public who are desperately looking for security rather than growth . What a shame they went with an agency who told them what they wanted to hear [Dynamic partnership. Hahahaha!] rather than make a call that could have had massive benefits for them today.

As I have said many times before – corporate ego is one of the most dangerous things in business today.

Before I go on, I should point out this concept is not the sort of thing that will make me shun all other hotel brands – however in these times of monogrammed fucking bath robes – it at least shows they have some understanding of what their customers may find useful and could lead to the development of an overarching idea that can unite all these mini-elements and turn it into something with real differentiated brand value.

Jesus Christ that last sentence makes me sound like a Landor executive, a million apologies.

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Sorry, had to wash my mouth out with soap there.

OK, so if you’re anything like me, you like to wake up to music rather than BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEP BEEEEEEP [which is why I never have actually used this glorious gadget of mayhem that I bought a while back] … however as many places still don’t have iPOD Alarm clocks, I end up having to rely on a local radio station instead.

The thing is, because I am often staying in countries where English is not the native language, I end up having to ‘guess’ what I’m tuning into which is why what Hilton has done is so sweet …

That explosion of water is supposed to be a metaphor for how the pressures of life disappear when you stay at one of their hotels.

Well even though I quite like Westin, I can honestly say any ‘calming effect’ they may or may not have goes straight out the window as soon as you find out how much money they’re trying to rip you off for a bottle of crappy water.

Of course the irony is that when I think of a brand that is synonymous with pressure build-up and liquid explosion climaxes, I think more of ‘Hilton’ than Westin – but hey, that’s what happens when you have a 2 [billion] penny, attention seeking tart in the family business.

I know this is going to make me look even sadder than usual, but I’ve just realised the word ‘ECONOMIST’ features the words ‘CON’ and ‘MIST’ in it.

Coincidence? I don’t think so …

The cunning bastards will probably use this as part of their defense plea.

I’m almost impressed. Almost.

[Thanks to Carl for inadvertently bringing this to my attention]

[Who was in Bangkok, not the conference]

I have been trying to meet Charles for bloody ages and on more than one occasion we have been incredibly close to pulling it off only to have other issues step in and bugger it up – but this time we got to make it happen and in Somerset Maughm’s favourite hangout, the Mandarin Oriental hotel, no less!

[Bit ironic given we talked about socialism the whole time, ha!]

To be honest I didn’t recognise him at first because he had blond hair and wasn’t dressed like Starsky & Hutch’s “Huggy Bear” … but it was an incredibly brilliant 2 hours. At least for me, ha.

Like the time I met Age and Dodds – I had to remind myself I’d never actually met him before – because it seemed like we were old friends just catching up after a couple of days of not seeing eachother.

As some of you may remember, we’ve been doing some work with the G boys about how technology is impacting friendship and conversation … and as much as there seems to be some quite negative – and facinating – effects of ‘digital relationships’ [of which I’ll be writing about in the near future] – there’s also a huge amount of benefits of which meeting Age, Dodds and now Charles are but three.

So thank you Charles – you made my weekend and I hope to see you again very soon.

PS: I didn’t kiss him Lauren, but I gave him a huuuuuge hug!