The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

I also accept what I am about to write is the height of first world problems.

And while I’m at it, I also accept some may interpret this as an attempt to humble brag.

But putting all that aside, have a look at the food I got at the Lufthansa Lounge at JFK in NYC.

Brown. Lots of shades of brown.

Dark brown.
Brown brown.
Orangey brawn.
The Germans really seem to love their browns!

But you know what’s even scarier?

I chose all these items.

That’s right, all of this was my own personal choice.

Admittedly, it was because the other food on offer – unsurprisingly, also brown – was even less appetizing than the tragic plate above, but also because this was the healthiest food available.

The healthiest!!!

A small piece of pretzel bread.
Some baked pumpkin.
A Coke Zero.

OK, I appreciate the Germans aren’t exactly renown for their healthy eating or healthy food but I tell you what, they know how to make tragic items taste bloody awesome.

I bloody loved it.
Every depressing mouthful of it.
Hell, I’d go to errrrm, war for Pretzel bread … well, I would if there was no more Sourdough in existence.

[I have been told by Germans there’s no such thing as Pretzel ‘bread’ … but just like there’s no such thing as Chicken Tikka Masala in India, the outside world decided to take it, bastardise it and enjoyed it in various forms over the years – and for that I am both very, very sorry and very, very grateful]

And while I’m sure there would be many airport lounge visitors who would be outraged at the rubbishness of the JFK Airport, Lufthansa Lounge food offering [which was still less depressing that the interior design of the lounge] I can tell you, for a bloke from Nottingham trying to stay healthy in a way where his taste buds still have some hope … it was epic.

So here’s to Lufthansa …