Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Advertising, Cars, Creativity, Culture, Emotion, Empathy, Resonance, Respect
Once upon a time, I got called ‘too emotional’ by a senior member of an agency I worked for.
It came about because we had just witnessed a client of ours, basically destroy 2 years of work we’d done – even though he had been on the journey with us all the way, including a huge offsite meeting 2 weeks prior with all his reports. But when we were presenting to his boss – and he was very vocal about some issues he had with our work – we watched our client basically turn on us to protect themselves.
That’s when my ‘too emotional’ side decided to came out and play because in front of everyone, I said:
“I find the response very confusing given you were all behind it when we went through it a fortnight ago”.
Cue evil stares, and a mass of pointed fingers and excuses.
Or said another way, a huge clusterfuck of awkwardness permeated the air.
Now of course I knew my comment wasn’t going to go down well … but neither was their attitude and behaviour.
They’d been part of this work.
They’d been advocates of it.
And yet the moment it required them to step up and defend it, they stepped away …
While we did end up losing that account, it wasn’t because of that moment. It probably didn’t help … but other things happened that resulted in us parting ways. And all being happy/relieved for the fact.
That said, I was kind-of nervous for what was going to happen to me post-meeting.
I didn’t give a fuck the client was upset – frankly, they’d done it to themselves – however I was a bit concerned about what was going to happen to me with my bosses.
Which leads to the ‘too emotional’ comment.
Amazingly, the senior member of the agency wasn’t mad at what I’d done – in fact I think he was quite proud I stood up for the work and the agency – however they were not too impressed in how I’d done it.
On one level I understand and was grateful they had been able to separate how I did it, with why I did it … however, saying it had happened because I was ‘too emotional’ was a shit way to refer to it.
OK, so they were the sort of person who considered eating a packet of crisps too loudly as an act of hysteria … but what they inadvertently were telling me was that regardless of situation, I should be emotionless in my response. Or as the Brits say it, ‘maintain a stiff upper lip’ come rain or shine.
Now this person was good to me and still is, and we’ve talked about it over the years … but it bothers me that ’emotion’ is still viewed as a negative in business. That giving a fuck is an act of weakness.
Well what about the people who obviously don’t care about doing the right thing?
Who don’t care about respecting the people who have put their blood, sweat and tears into trying to do something to benefit everyone … brilliantly?
Why are those people not challenged or questioned about their lack of emotion … about their lack of will or fight … about their inability to respect and value the person who cares deeply about what they are doing?
I get there are good and bad ways to express yourself, but it is kinda bullshit that any expression of emotion is often viewed as someone lacking control when it is actually someone showing they give a shit.
Of course, the people who are often the recipient of this sort of comment are women … a way for certain men to try and assert control of a situation by undermining the other persons validity or professionalism. Hell, even Hillary Clinton experienced this.
My view has always been that as long as it’s not personal … as long as it relates to the issue … as long as it is objective rather than subjective … as long as it is expressed with respect rather than red-mist recklessness, emotion is not a weapon but a gift. A way to unite, connect, engage, drive and define ideas, possibilities and concepts.
Emotion is never a weakness, it’s a power and I’d rather deal with someone who cares enough to show it than a fucking robot.
As Andrew McCarthy said in the utterly terrible 1992 movie, Only You …
“If you want boringly consistent, go marry a beige Volvo”.
Seems there’s a lot of car fuckers in business these days.
OK. I feel much better now. Thank you.