The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


Smell The Insult …

A while back I wrote a post about the naming strategies of fragrance brands.

Or should I say the lack of them.

It wasn’t a dig, it was almost fawning respect for their complete disregard for logic and their blind commitment to visceral inducing, imagination.

To be honest, the self-awareness is inspiring.

An acknowledgement that in the big scheme of things, their product is kind-of ridiculous and so by embracing that, they can go wherever they want with their naming approach … which is how we end up with Tom Ford’s Noir Extreme … because in the business of smell, the darkness of ‘noir’ just isn’t dark enough.

However in their ‘anything goes’ mentality, they may just gone a bit too errrrrm, mental.

Have a look at this …

Vanilla Sex.

VANILLA FUCKING SEX!!!???

Jesus bloody Christ … they may as well call it, ‘Excel Spreadsheet’.

Now while I appreciate sex is seemingly going out of fashion, I’m not sure a scent that conveys ‘the most average 3 minutes of your life’ ignites aspiration.

Even among Monks or Nuns.

Or Billy. Hahaha.

For a category that loves to communicate its power of seduction, attraction, expression or self-confidence, Vanilla Sex pours a big bucket of cold water over all that and instead celebrates the idea of feeling like you’ve been fucked by a Tax Accountant from Slough.

At 3:17pm.

On a cold Tuesday.

In a Travel Lodge.

Located on the side of a Motorway service station.

It’s so utterly bonkers I don’t know if it is an act of brilliance, madness or just a desire to just see what they can get away with.

Or maybe it’s just proof they don’t give a damn because by the same token, they also have this …

It’s all kinds of amazing.

A case study for the power of strategy to take brands to places never imagined or, by the same token, proof this strategy stuff is all fucking nonsense because even when you ignore – and break – every rule of it, you can still be wildly successful.

But as amazing as all this is, it’s still not as amazing as the thought that two people could meet one day with one smelling like Vanilla Sex and the other being Fucking Fabulous.

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