The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

From The Stupid To The Tragic …

I’ve written a bunch about Starbucks over the years – most recently, their cereal coffee debacle – but let’s be honest, where ‘what the fuck’ happens, Starbucks is close behind.

Well while this example isn’t a demonstration of their marketing department being on crack, it is a demonstration of what their marketing department think of their customers.

Have a look at this.

Yes, it’s a bunch of bananas.

Amazingly, this is not the first time I’ve written about Starbucks and bananas.

Anyway, bananas are one of those fruits that are almost impossible to confuse with another.

And yet the folks at Starbucks think it is worthy of adding a sign in case they have the most stupid customer in the whole wide World.

Now, if you’re going to do that, you’d think you’d make sure they were the best looking, freshest bananas ever grown … but no … instead, they’ve curated a bunch of the most depressed looking fruit you could find.

Seriously, they couldn’t look sadder if they’d been placed in front of a television and made to watch 36 hours of Donald Trump speeches.

And then they want to charge 55 pence for one.


At that price, I hope they throw in some banana flavored prozac as well.

16 Comments so far
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I hope the froth on your Starbucks is because they’ve spat in your coffee.

Comment by Billy Whizz

They should give him a free banana and make him choke on it.

Comment by Bazza

Me too … it would add more coffee flavor to their coffee flavoured milk.

Comment by Rob

The fact you have not been named, shamed or banned by Starbucks is testimony to this blog’s cultural influence. Sorry Robert, I couldn’t resist.

Comment by George

Thanks George. Thanks a lot.

Comment by Rob

I hope you to Starbucks with a sign around your neck that states “unhappy customer”.

Comment by Pete

That’s actually a good idea. Though I do have a t-shirt with the Starbucks mermaid on it that I wore for ages – even in their stores sometimes – till one of my colleagues pointed out she was actually having sex and I literally had not noticed it. [For the record, it was because it was pretty subtle, not because I have forgotten what sex is]

Comment by Rob

let me write the sign you deserve around your neck campbell. i mean the noose.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m happy to hold him down for you Andy.

Comment by DH

You complain about 55p for something that could be confused for a plantain but presumably then paid four times that for a cup of burned “coffee” in a landfill-bound cup.

Comment by John

you mean campbell got someone to pay four times the price of a banana for a cup of burned coffee.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by DH

And whoever gets away with only buying Rob a starbucks is winning.

Comment by Bazza

Rob 1 Schultz 1

Extra time.

Comment by DH

campbell, you are a wonderful twat. now what the fuck are you doing hobnobbing with those lovey pricks?

Comment by andy@cynic

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