The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

When Thinking Isn’t Thinking …

I have long-written how Asian hotel hospitality – albeit in the better end of the hotel ranking system – absolutely trash their US counterparts in almost all aspects of comfort and service.

The same can be said for a whole host of things, including airports, infrastructure and educational standards … however recently, on a trip to the US, I saw something that basically summed up the whole madness of American standards, at least in terms of hotels.

To demonstrate the point, come with me on a terrible z-grade bit of storytelling …

We are in the boardroom of the Sheraton Suites Hotel chain.

The team are meeting on room design …

“Where should we put the full length mirror” asks one of staff members.

“There’s so much wall space – we’re in America, greatest land in the World – it could literally go anywhere” replied a duty manager.

This debate goes back and forth for a while before they determine they won’t be able to get to the answer by themselves.

So after opening a P/O number and conducting some internal questionnaires, they spend a further 6 days at a ‘mirror brainstorm summit’ offsite before deciding they needed external help.

Enter McKinseyBainBoston&Sons … management consultants that now can turn their hand to anything if the invoice has a minimum of six 0’s attached to it.

Off they go and do a full brand audit and interview process.

This takes 9 months.

Finally, after spending millions of dollars in expenses and time, the consultants come back and present their answer to the Sheraton Suites board.

Obviously they love it, McKinseyBainBoston&Sons are the pinnacle at whatever they do.

A grand party is set to announce the answer.

The whole company comes together.

There is lift music, average food and fake smiles before finally the time has come.

With great fanfare the envelope with the answer is opened.

“Place the mirror directly opposite the loo so guests can see themselves when they’re having a shit”

Everyone claps wildly.

Except anyone who stays there.

19 Comments so far
Leave a comment

US hotels set the standard for bad standards.

Comment by Pete

And all of America’s service standards go out the window when you walk through a hotel door. I know you are trying to be funny with this post but it feels it could be factual reporting.

Comment by Pete

This is why Trump wants the wall. Keep complainers like you out.

Comment by Billy Whizz

He wants to build a wall to save discerning tourists from America’s bad hotels and service standards? How considerate of him.

Comment by George

billy you are a fucking twat.

Comment by andy@cynic

Oh Billy, I know you’re not a republican but I do appreciate your willingness to become one just to try and upset/insult others. It’s that sort of loyalty and dedication that could get you into the government.

Comment by Rob

I feel sorry for that toilet.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Thank you for they image Billy.

Comment by George

How do you think I feel? It was me that made that toilet so depressed.

Comment by Rob

American hotels and airports have always surprised me in terms of their low standards. I am sure when they were originally built they were cutting edge but unfortunately they have failed to keep up with the times or the standards they once were so well known for. Maybe America’s belief they are the best country in the world and the lack of overseas travel has allowed this to continue for so long.

Comment by George

That would almost make sense if we were talking about small, local hotels – but even the global brands have a terrible US offering. The Westin is hysterically bad for example. And as for airports …

While I agree with you they are, in the main, terrible ,,, they’re airports – where people fly in and out of the country, so surely they should be the most informed in terms of how low their offering is compared to others.


Comment by Rob

look at the little planners having a tiff. sad fucks.

Comment by andy@cynic

Under no circumstances are you allowed to take off your blindfold.

Comment by Michael Edits

While singing: “Your so vain, you probably think this design is about you. Don’t poo, don’t poo”

Comment by trevorlindroos

dont worry campbell, that toilet hasnt had to deal with as much shit as the readers of this blog.

Comment by andy@cynic

Can I just say how grateful I am Rob showed some restraint in the photo he took. Might be the first time but it is appreciated.

Comment by DH

The blackest darkest comment ever.

Comment by Billy Whizz

That toilet has seen the darkest, blackest thing in the universe.

Comment by DH

Seconded. This post did NOT need an action shot

Comment by Rob (Other one)

Leave a Reply