The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

When It Comes To Revenge, Be Like An Elephant …
February 5, 2017, 6:20 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Australia, Culture, Cunning, England

Annnnnnnnnnd I’m back.

Don’t worry, I’m not that happy about it either.

So when I lived in Australia, I worked with this guy called John.

I really liked him … he was smart, fun and an all round good chap.

Only thing was he really, really hated all things British.

Oh the banter we had.

In the end, we played a weekly game of pool and if I won overall, he had to fold up the Australian flag to just leave the Union Jack [ie: “get your shit stars off our flag”] and if he won, I had to salute it.

We did this for years and even though my ‘crowning moment’ was when England beat the Wallabies at the 2003 Rugby World Cup final [oh, how I loved wearing my England top the next day], he never missed a chance to piss on his countries Queen.

So imagine my joy when after 10+ years, he got in contact with me to say his niece was coming to Shanghai for a law firm and would I mind giving him my details so she has someone to contact if she gets in trouble.

To be fair to him, it absolutely killed him having to ask me … but he knew no one else and was forced to reach out.

Being the kind, generous soul that I am, I obviously agreed.

With just one condition.


On Facebook.

Left for 15 minutes.

And the moral of the story?

Don’t fuck with petty half English assholes, with a memory for revenge.

Talking of elephants and revenge, here’s one of my all time favourite ads …

15 Comments so far
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Even before I scrolled down, I just KNEW you’d have that Rolo ad in here somewhere. You’re getting predictable, Rob.

(Nice story but …)

Comment by Ian Gee

Given this post wasn’t supposed to appear till tomorrow, I’d say I’m positively random. Or something.

But yes, I probably am predictable but fortunately only to old fuckers that remember the references I give. Ha.

Comment by Rob

probably? hahahahaha.


Comment by andy@cynic

Old fuckers have memories like elephants too.

Comment by Ian Gee

Welcome back Robert. A wonderful ad and a wonderful reminder of your mischievousness.

Comment by Lee Hill

for mischievous you mean dick, right?

Comment by andy@cynic

thanks for fucking my sunday you prick.

Comment by andy@cynic

Mine too. At least it gets the hell over and done with.

Comment by DH

best fucking rolo ad ever.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m willing to bet that rolo ad is better than 99.999% of the super Bowl spots I’ll be forced to watch in about 10 hours. Only one I’ve seen so far that is half decent is skittles. The rest are just bad bloke humor or overkill celebrity mentions. That includes your Wieden team too Rob. No Chrysler/Eminem in that bunch.

Comment by DH

You’re an enemy to America.

Comment by Billy Whizz

According to the new administration, there are a lot of them. Except the nations that have business interests with the President despite there being evidence that they should be regarded that way.

Comment by DH

I’ve seen a bunch of them already … and you’re right, bloody horrendous. Though I do like the Skittles one as well – super simple and charming. But I also like our Turbo Tax / Humpty Dumpty spot, but I hear you on some of the other stuff that people have been putting out.

The Super Bowl used to be the best ad for the ad industry, now I worry it is doing the opposite.

Comment by Rob

Why can’t Rob forget to come back.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Clearly a devious strategy to terrify his niece into never getting into trouble.

Comment by John

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