The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

When Product Descriptions Make You Feel Ill …

So I was in a supermarket recently when I saw this.

While I am a huge advocate of cleanliness and healthiness and I absolutely appreciate the cleaning properties of vinegar – I’m not sure if this is something I’d find appealing when looking for a product that I’m going to use on my most sensitive regions.

OK, two things.

1. I appreciate I WOULDN’T be using it on my sensitive regions.

[Sorry for that image]

2. Like Listerine [until they came out with the orange flavour, which is still madness personified] I get that some products need to leave you with an ‘ugly tingling feeling’ so you emotionally feel you have been cleaned. So to speak.

But seriously, is vinegar the sort of thing you’d want to use on yourself?

Maybe it’s because I’m a bloke – and an English bloke – but the word vinegar conjures up images of chips and while I would love to eat a bag of them covered in Sarsons [not that overpriced, poncy stuff] I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t want my nether-regions to smell of them.

I wonder if that means this product isn’t available in the UK given vinegar’s strong association with dodgy food.

Actually I wonder if any normal person would spend this much time thinking about this subject?

Alright … maybe I’m a sad, weird freak but this product stopped me in my tracks, but that could also be because the naming is some of the weirdest I’ve ever seen in my life.

It starts off all nice and angelic with ‘Summers Eve’.

Oh that’s a nice name … it paints pictures of a beautiful evening sky, full of beautiful colours promising a bright tomorrow.

Then they throw in ‘Douche’.

OK, that kind of ruins the picture a bit because at best you think of someone you know who is a total idiot and at worst, you think of something a woman uses to clean her privates.

Then they double down with ‘Extra Cleaning Vinegar & Water’.

And with that, the beautiful evening sky has been replaced with the feeling of needles being jabbed where you never ever want them jabbed.

Seriously, that naming combination has to be the weirdest ever.

Surely they could have thought of other ways to talk about douche’s and vinegar given they’d come up with such an evocative product name.

But no. They didn’t which is why instead of Summers Eve, they should have called it Winter’s Worst and be done with it.

24 Comments so far
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Rumor is if you added vinegar to your nether regions, the overall effect would be like a packet of walkers cheese and onion crisps.

Comment by DH

Congratulations on taking an awful image by Robert and making it worse.

Comment by George

The fact you are thinking about my ‘nether regions’ is worse than me thinking about my ‘nether regions’.

Comment by Rob

In your defense, there is no other publication in the world with such diversified content. There is a reason for that, but I won’t burst your bubble.

Comment by DH

I’ll have you know I’m in Bloomberg Businessweek this week. They’ve massively edited what I said, but I’m in it … so maybe my diversification is of interest to some.

Or maybe they just had a joke column to fill and I was the only one who would whore his name out so easily.

Comment by Rob

The most questionable products (and places) always have the nicest names.

Comment by George

mountain view. your theory holds some fucking water auntie.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by DH

Oh Andy.

Comment by Pete

Very true. In Nottingham The Meadows and Hyde Park are a couple of the worst areas and in Derby, it’s called Peartree.

Guess this means you should always be scared of buying a place in Sunshine Meadow, or worse, Summers Eve.

Comment by Rob

theres some men who need this shit because theyre a bunch of smelly c u next tuesdays. happy campbell? didnt even resort to abusing your single word ban. im so fucking good to you.

Comment by andy@cynic

by the way campbell, your portland lot have excelled themselves with their latest secret ad. read a lot saying its bringing the issue to the forefront. no its fucking not, its exploiting trans to sell a fucking deodorant. sort it out will you.

Comment by andy@cynic

I have to agree. If any other agency did this, there would be an outcry but because Wieden did, it’s lauded as a point of view on culture. I know it is well produced and done with a gentle touch, but it still is Wieden using their classic “hijack culture playbook” to ultimately sell a woman’s deodorant. If P&G are really behind this cause, then good on them. If not, then shame on them and everyone involved in it. Sorry Robert.

Comment by George

Agreed. They’re not hijacking culture, they’re jumping on the latest controversy.

Comment by John

This is where Rob wishes he didn’t have his blog.

Comment by DH

Wieden were at their best when they brought underground culture to the masses. Now they’re selling populist culture back to them. They still do it well and find ways to make the story more interesting, but the ship of fools in Portland need to start charting another course.

This is so much fun heaping shit on your company for a change.

Comment by Bazza

I must admit, I have some trouble with this too.

Do I think it’s an important issue? Yes.

Do I think we did it with grace & compassion? Of course.

Is it part of a series revealing real female mindsets? Tick.

But my first thought on seeing it was not how ‘brave’ it was … but how fine a line we are walkingt. Not because this issue shouldn’t be talked about – far from it – but because the role of the communication is to get people to purchase a specific product.

That said, what else is there?

It’s a good product designed to work specifically for women and using a Lynx/Old Spice strategy would literally be the worst thing anyone could do.

So I applaud my guys for what was done and if I’m going to trust anyone to walk a tight line without falling off, it’s going to be the team behind this work.

Comment by Rob

I am in awe at how well you can navigate between insult and compliment Robert.

Comment by George

I am shocked, I only thought he had an insult side to him.

Comment by Bazza

This is the best comment stream on here for a long time.

Comment by Pete

Low bar.

Comment by John

Brought to you by the company whose website features a vagina owner’s manual.

Comment by John

Impressed you found a way to link a douche product with food. Only you Rob.

Comment by Bazza

It’s what I do best.

Comment by Rob

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