The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

When Make Up Makes It Up …

So recently I saw this poster …

Yes, I know this poster is appearing in China – a land that has an almost indecent fascination with Panda’s – but come on, what the fuck were they thinking?

In all honesty, when I first saw it, I thought it was about domestic violence.

And what the hell is with that ‘custom blending is now completed’ rubbish.



It’s about as subtle as a 14 year old kid with an erection while wearing lycra shorts.

Now I know I have all the fashion sense of a pig.

I know I’m about as current as a bowl of trifle.

But the people behind it need to know something.

It doesn’t matter care how artsy you’ve tried to make this poster look … if you go out with this make up on, you will get you laughed at, not fawned over – even in a country that thinks walking backwards and dressing like this is perfectly normal.

Look, I know you work in an industry that seems to revel in the ridiculous, but please stop with the pretentious bullshit … you’re not fooling anyone and you’re just embarrassing yourselves, not to mention the idiots who are so desperate for attention, they think this is cool.

God, I feel so much better now. Thank you.

22 Comments so far
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What do you say to someone with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you’ve said enough.

Comment by Billy Whizz

Not cool.

Comment by George

Oh dear.

Comment by Rob

I need a new panda to put in my bed. Got her number?

Comment by Billy Whizz

I knew you were into beastiality.

Comment by DH

ive seen some of his conquests. beastiality doesnt do it fucking justice. but then they would say the same about him. dirty bastard.

Comment by andy@cynic

Fashion is the only industry that makes advertising look meek. That said, I would love to see what they would do as superbowl commercials. It would be better, or at least more entertaining, than the ads we just witnessed.

Comment by George

I thought it was a photo of one of your female planners with her mascara running after listening to you talk to her. I still think it is.

Comment by DH

not talking to her. just looking at her. just the thought of it makes me fucking cry.

Comment by andy@cynic

this is an ad warning what would happen if they let gadget twats like campbell automate the fucking world. be fucking warned auntie, baz and pete. if this shit happens i know who needs the kicking.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by George

It might be more pretentious than a lot of ads, but it’s not as ridiculous. Your nespresso example for example.

Comment by Pete

I agree but I’ve had a lot of people write to me defending that nespresso ad. No really. Sometimes I really feel I’m in the wrong industry. Well, I know I am but you know what I mean.

Comment by Rob

they deserve to fucking die. im not saying that to protect your honour, im saying it because theyre fucking stupid.

Comment by andy@cynic

Did they like the ad or did they say “the public like the ad”? It has to be one of those.

Comment by Pete

Or one more. “It’s been really successful” so you are wrong to criticize it. What your critics fail to understand is that while success is very important, how you achieve it says more about the quality of the company you are dealing with and Nespresso have done it by treating their audience as idiots.

Comment by Pete

Irony and make-up as mask are two thoughts that spring to mind, but I can’t read Chinese and I don’t know much about the contex. However, I’m assuming there’s a subtext here.

Comment by john

pandas and stupidity and looking like a twat are the fucking subtext.

Comment by andy@cynic

campbell. i dont want to comment about your mums anniversary on this post but youve given me no other fucking alternative. its fucking lovely. she would be proud of you. she was. i hope today isnt too hard on you big guy. big fucking hug.

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by Jemma King

Hope you can steal some extra time to spend today with Jill and baby Otis. Big hugs to you..

Comment by Niko

A beautiful post for a beautiful lady. You are a credit to her Robert.

Comment by Lee Hill

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