Look, I love planning – not so keen on a bunch planners – but what we do and how we do it has a lot of [underrated] value.
BUUUUUUUUUUUUT, sometimes what we do is – let’s be honest – a bunch of bollocks.
We either do stuff to feed our own ego or do stuff that doesn’t take the brand conversation anywhere new … which not only buggers up our client and bores our audience, but feeds the level of hate many disciplines have for us.
And to be honest, I don’t blame them.
As much as it might be sensitive to say, sometimes the biggest insight is “there’s nothing new here”.
However that takes a lot of balls and courage to admit because essentially, you’re saying you can’t take something to a new place, and that is very hard for the ego to take.
But here’s the thing … it’s not that you COULDN’T come up with something, of course you could, the issue is – whether because of the client request, the category situation or the products overall parity – you couldn’t come up with something that would make a significant difference in the situation you find yourself in and when that happens, the best advice I can give is to give the task to a great creative or design team and sit back, knowing that the biggest contribution you’ve made, was getting the hell out of the way.
I say this because I saw this:
In a whole magazine of ads, these were the only ones that stood out.
AND I DON’T EVEN DRINK ALCOHOL.
Sure, they are just well designed images … sure they don’t say anything deep and meaningful about the brand … sure, they’re not exactly redefining the category … but you know what, maybe they don’t need to.
Maybe they just want to look fresh and fun and attractive so that the next time you’re in a bar or a club, you will ask for Stoli instead of the countless other vodka brands that try and claim to be anything other than a bloody alcoholic drink.
Of course, someone will now tell me a planner was involved in this account … and if they were, good on them, except I would love to know what they actually did given the only difference between this brand and countless others is the name, the design and the flavours.
Planning has a lot to offer and a lot to give … but if the work you do can’t – or won’t – elevate the brand and audience to creatively infectious and intriguing new places [even when they’re old situations], then all you’re really doing is ‘packaging the strategy’ rather than ‘creating the future; and the only people who benefit from that is the agency who will charge you out for essentially writing a bunch of powerpoint decks that no one will ever read.
Fuck, I hope no one in the creative team reads this.
Or my planning team.
Shiiiiiit.
Filed under: Babies, Corporate Evil, Crap Marketing Ideas From History!, Daddyhood
A while back I wrote a post on the evil that is ‘the baby pram manufacturer’.
I still stand by that view.
In my opinion, the people who market these products are more sick, manipulative, and down-right fucked-up than Sepp Blatter.
But there is someone worse.
Yes, even worse than Sepp and that’s the people who buy this shit that lets these manufacturers go on with their evil ways.
I thought the iCandy Raspberry pram ad was bad, but I’ve found something worse.
Because it’s not an ad, it’s a product and that product is this:
Yes, a pram with fucking Andy Warhol inspired printed fabric.
WHY?
WHY???????
And then they decide to go one-step further in the ‘push Rob to the point of mass murder’ by adding 2 points to their marketing collateral that even Andy Warhol himself would find a step too far.
1. They’ve called it the ‘globetrotter’ print.
GLOBETROTTER!!!
It’s a bloody pram, not a plane … but more than that, you just know the marketing department of Bugaboo saw iCandy’s ‘urban adventurer’ bollocks and decided they had to go one better by saying theirs was all about circumnavigating the globe, even though the furthest it will ever go is Chelsea bloody high street.
2. They have the audacity to call it ‘the retrospective collection’.
What are they trying to say, you should buy all 3 of them to complete the set?
Or are they suggesting that you should chuck your perfectly good pram away, because this seasons range has just been released, even though with a name like ‘retrospective’, it is actually the season from 1974.
Thank god they don’t mention how much this thing costs because it literally might make my head explode.
I hate pram manufacturers … I hate them with every bone in my body … but what I hate even more is that some label whore fuckwit, with more-money-than-sense is going to buy this for their kid and think they – and their kid – are something special, when all they’re really doing is announcing to the World they’re a fuckwit and their kid is going to end up the sort of entitled little bastard who reacts like an Elton John hissy fit when they’re told they’re not very good.
If you see any parent pushing their kid in one of these, report them to the NSPCC immediately.
When I was in the UK, I saw a bunch of ads for loan companies.
The sort of loan companies you go to when you’re desperate.
The sort of loan companies called ‘pay day sharks’.
You know, the ones who can give you a small bridging loan between pay-days but charge you massive interest for the privilege.
Like 200, 300 and even 400%.
Yes, TWO HUNDRED, THREE HUNDRED AND FOUR HUNDRED PERCENT.
The fact these companies exist highlights how tough life is for many in England … but there was one company who, on first impression, seemed to want to separate themselves from scumsuckers like Wonga.
They made a massive deal saying they only loan to ‘level headed individuals’.
They spend time making sure you need the money.
That you can afford to repay the money.
That you talk to someone you trust about it.
Then, at the end of the ad, they reveal their interest rate …
Yes, you are reading that correctly … they are charging ONE THOUSAND, TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY TWO PERCENT INTEREST.
Borrow £500 and you could see yourself having to pay back $6360.
Borrow £5000 and you could see yourself having to pay back £63,600.
SIXTY THREE GRAND.
You could buy a house for that.
It’s utterly disgraceful and the fact this is allowed makes me sick.
But of course, allowing these companies to exist means the government can turn a blind eye to the poverty they are helping encourage, especially in certain deprived areas. They can brush their hands of the situation they’ve created and let someone else deal with it. Someone who is going to profit from others despair. Someone who will be hailed as an example of ‘free enterprise’.
But the fact is, there are tens of thousands of people who rely on these loans to survive. Tens of thousands of people who are ensuring their life – and the ones of their children – will forever be kept in an endless cycle of debt which may have a major impact on things like education and work, let alone drug and crime rates.
Sure, the papers are filled with stories of people exploiting government handouts but apart from the fact there are far more people who aren’t … the reality is that I have a degree of sympathy with the exploiters given the way the government structure their benefits is to give you just enough cash to keep you in poverty rather than help you out of it.
I’m not saying that was their intention, but that is definitely the result for many – especially when the place they live is bereft of investment – so even if you managed to find a way to get out of your situation, you’d have no where to go.
The fact these companies are allowed to operate as legitimate businesses is a disgrace.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying there shouldn’t be companies you can turn to when you have a short-term shortfall.
Hell, I’ve used them in the past and they were very useful and helpful. But to allow them to charge over 1000% interest is criminal which is why these companies should be called for what they are, pedlars of human misery … even if they like to pretend they attract a more ‘level-headed’ type of customer.
Bastards.
Filed under: Comment
When I was in the UK recently, I came across this …
Now you may laugh and snigger at it – especially in these days of social media – but I think it’s awesome.
No seriously I do.
Because as much as technology has allowed interaction between audience and brand to be done on an unprecedented scale … I would argue it rarely creates the same sort of emotional positivity and connectivity that a good old, sit down and chat can achieve.
[And no Northern, it’s not just because it involves tea, regardless what you may say]
Yes … yes … I know if you work out the cost that a copper talking to 6 old ladies in the local library, it will be nowhere as cheap as them having an online conversation with thousands of people at once, but reach doesn’t mean effectiveness, even if too many in adland think it does.
A long time ago, when we had cynic, we were working with MTV and George tried to convince them to ditch their email communication approach and start sending them letters. I remember the horror in the audiences eyes when he said that, but his point was that many of the modern generation haven’t experienced the joy of having a letter addressed to them that wasn’t some sort of bill, bollocking or bullshit and it would have a disproportional impact on them compared to yet another email cluttering up their inbox.
They said no. Fools.
Now I don’t know how many people attended ‘cuppa with a copper’ … and I’m fairly positive the audience was probably made up of the elderly or parents rather than kids … but the fact is, sometimes talking to someone or being heard by someone sat in front of you has a transformative, sustainable effect and while we’re in the business of helping our clients achieve their business goals, it’s worth remembering that while we all want the next big thing, it’s sometimes the old and small that can make the biggest impact.
Sometimes.
Filed under: Peace, Prejudice, Social Commentary, Social Divide
Watch.
Listen.
Find yourself nodding.
[Especially if you’re one of the US Police force who thinks doing a commando roll into a pool party filled with black kids is appropriate behaviour]