The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Night all, I’m absolutely knackered … but strangely energized at the same time.

So we’ve had the morning sessions … loads of speakers basically giving their company creds, passing off other people’s ideas as their own and showing old viral pieces as if they’ve just come out.

Hey, I’m not knocking it, I’ll probably be doing the same in a few hours … however one guy has pissed me off and that’s one of the conferences “Guru’s” – Nirmalya Kumar – Professor of Marketing Harvard, IMD / Director – Centre for Marketing / Co-Director Aditya Birla India Centre, UK London Business School.

Obviously this guy is very smart and very informed – you don’t get to where you are without that – however like most University lecturers, he speaks AT an audience, he detests being questioned and he only understands life by post-rationalised case studies.

Well guess what I did!? Yep I called him on all 3.

You see it was all going well till he started talking about the fashion brand, Zara.

Without doubt they are an amazing business because like Google, they’ve come from nowhere to everywhere in about 10 years – however what pissed me off was that he said Zara has become a brilliant brand without ever advertising … they’ve just created and communicated their competitive advantage through their advanced processes and systems.

Now don’t get me wrong, process and systems has played an enormous part in creating Zara’s consistent and competitive brand advantage … however what this old school thinker fails to realize is that communication is no longer just about television spots or billboards, it’s about [as in Zara’s case] things like shopping experience, location, PR, fashion shows, magazine articles – hell, even the clothes – so whilst Zara may not use the ‘old school’ method of advertising, they still spend a shit load of cash on communicating their brand to the masses.

Of course I had to bring this issue to his attention and do you know what he did?

He grabbed the mic off me and made some glib comment that because this method of communication wouldn’t get adland the commission they demand from media channels, he was right and Zara owe their success to internal efficiencies and infrastructure.

Now apart from the fact that [1] I have seen Zara advertise in traditional channels [2] they do have ad agencies on their books and [3] they spend a huge amount in exposing their brand to the masses … the media commission model is incredibly outdated and if most agencies relied on that for their only income, they’d all go bust in an instant.

So all in all this guy has made 4 major faux pas …

1/ He has not acknowledged the role adland can have in making an efficiently run company into a brand that motivates and infiltrates society

2/ He does not understand the changing face of the communication industry.

3/ He doesn’t understand how real people think/do/act

4/ He is letting me speak after him.

Is someone on drugs????

Look, I don’t care if you’re a 98 year old, one legged midget with a collapsed lung and a blow up doll – if you spend that much moolah on a private suite you’re not going to waste your time sorting out bloody photographs, you’re going to be doing all you can to join the mile high club.

God there’s so much I hate about this ad.

For instance, why is the hostess so bloody small?

Seriously, Mr Small from the Mr Men would be bigger than her. Talk about racial stereotypes!

And what about that female passenger?

She bloody huge … like monster huge … what’s that all about?

I tell you, it’s like SIA and TBWA have decided to position the airline as the ‘home for the freaks’ – and whilst that might be true to TBWA’s ‘disruption’, I question it’s commercial validity.

And another thing …

I don’t know about you lot, but everytime I fly I’m told I have to keep my seat belt tightly fastened – even when we haven’t even taken off – so how come these OAP’s get to arrange their photos whilst lazying about on the bed?

I tell you, if those buggers experience some turbulence mid-flight, there’s going to be a hell of a mess … plus all the carefully arranged photos will be all over the place.

In all seriousness, how long is it going to be till SIA understand they should listen to what Freddie is saying rather than continue throwing more good money after bad?

And how long is it going to be till TBWA understand that a high profile client like this is undermining their ‘disruption’ philosophy rather than showering it in glory?

Jesus, this is one of my favourite airlines and yet their ads are making me want to never fly with them again.

So it’s Wednesday – that point in the week where you can see just about see Saturday approaching but feel the vice-like grip of Monday still very tightly wrapped around your feet.

With this in mind, I thought I’d start the Humpday Positive Mindset post … where basically I ask a rubbish question and you let your mind go on a holiday from corporate life by responding with answers that reflect positive feelings/memories and emotions.

To start off I’d like to know what is your most comforting of all comfort food.

I want to you to tell me what concoction is your mouth and stomachs best friend … why that’s the case and how it makes you feel.

Right, to get things rolling, I’ll start …

Without doubt for me, a bowl of plan pasta, coated in some melted butter with salt and some cheese on top makes me go weak at the knees.

I know it’s oh-so-plain … but that dish makes me feel totally contented.

It’s not that it gives me a blanket of warmth if I’m feeling down – though it has that effect as well – it’s the fact that I feel in a really good place when I’m eating it.

All the stuff that can pre-occupy me just buggers off, leaving me to appreciate where I’m at and what I have – not in terms of what I own, but in relation to the people I have in my life.

Mad isn’t it … a bowl of plain pasta has meditation type benefits.

Now I must admit I don’t know why this food has such an effect on me but I am assuming it has something to do with my Mum being Italian and that it stirs up memories of the odd school lunchtime where I’d come home and eat a bowl with her while chatting about what I’d done that morning.

Precious, wonderful times which you don’t realise until decades later.

Manhood therapy?

More like Man [Penis] Hood Therapy.

And the description is brilliant … it almost sounds like they’re offering some specialised medical treatment rather than a wank.

Seriously, I haven’t seen repositioning that good since the mobile phone ‘sock’.

And all this going on in clean living Singapore.

As with most things in life [here comes the pathetic segway into some twee planning ‘lesson’] if you delve deeper, you find far more interesting things than you might otherwise of thought – though I don’t think anyone really needs to investigate ‘Mens Kneads’ any further to understand what’s going on over there.