The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

About As Subtle As Jemma Jameson’s Acting …
September 23, 2008, 6:24 am
Filed under: Comment

As seen in a Singaporean, mass market, free ‘youth’ newspaper …

05/09/2008 by you.

Manhood therapy?

More like Man [Penis] Hood Therapy.

And the description is brilliant … it almost sounds like they’re offering some specialised medical treatment rather than a wank.

Seriously, I haven’t seen repositioning that good since the mobile phone ‘sock’.

And all this going on in clean living Singapore.

As with most things in life [here comes the pathetic segway into some twee planning ‘lesson’] if you delve deeper, you find far more interesting things than you might otherwise of thought – though I don’t think anyone really needs to investigate ‘Mens Kneads’ any further to understand what’s going on over there.

[Remember John, if you want to ring them, you need to put a +65 before the number, ha!]

26 Comments so far
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what the fuck are you doing reading a “youth” newspaper? what the fuck are you doing reading the “massage” classifieds? what the fuck are you doing full fucking stop? if it wasnt for the subtle character slur against dodds id be inclined to call you a tosser but its quite funny so ill let you off. whether dodds will be so gracious is another thing. personally i think he should do what jill will be doing when she reads this post and kick you in the nuts for undermining his good name then at least you have an excuse to go to “mens kneads” and get them rubbed better. for medical purposes of course. yeah right you fucking goddamn pervert.

for a place that has a reputation of being clinical singapore is a hotbed of sleaze isnt it. why the fuck did i let you go there instead of me? what a twat.

you owe me. again.

Comment by andy@cynic

All you had to do was ask me Andy and I would have told you what the place was like when you lift the carefully constructed curtain of illusion.

I still can’t decide whether seeing women having to sell themselves for a few dollars was more upsetting than seeing Western men treating the whole thing like a cross between McDonalds and an all you can eat diner. Then there is the role the Government play in the whole thing which is never mentioned even though everyone knows about it.

Singapore is a great country but it is as hypocritical as the rest of them but at least it seems to be becoming more liberal because when I lived there the only DVDs that were legally released were PG rated. There’s only so many versions of the Mighty Ducks you can watch before you get bored. 🙂

Comment by Pete

Sounds like some ‘mighty ducks” are going on for you men over here ! Where are the sex parlours for women I ask you ? !! Chippendale’s and firemen with big hoses is all I ask !

Comment by fan

is all the innuendo part of the deal for these kinds of things? are we just not ready for ads that say “need a hand job? call +65 91446456?”
is this is the reason that talking about prostitution still gets a twitter from the cheap seats – that we quite like the idea of licentiousness and don’t want to normalise it? or should i just shut up and smirk?

Comment by lauren

But if we did that Lauren, we’d put all the advertising creatives out of work and then they’d have no money to keep these ‘establishments’ in business. 🙂

Comment by Rob

of course! and i guess this is why everyone’s panicking about the global economic implosion too – no money for crack and whores anymore… now i get it 🙂

Comment by lauren

Exactly … which is why the REAL reason these banks are collapsing is not due to the fallout of the subprime mortgage fiasco, but because bank executives are all having major meltdowns as they realise they may have to tighten their [excessive] belts a teensy bit which means having daily blow jobs and coke every other day – which after years of hourly indulgence is probably too terrible a concept to contemplate.

You heard it here first … 🙂

Comment by Rob

I do not understand. Who is Jenna Jameson?

Comment by northern

Seeing as everybody likes to get a handjob, but doesn’t like to give one, we should not be calling anybody hypocrits…

I got that pearl of wisdom by the way from the best comedy movie I’ve seen this year, Harold and Kumar go to Guantanamo Bay.., but it’s so true

Comment by Nick Fury

Awesome comment. Anyway why is it called a blow job? Do the cheeks puff out or something?

Comment by Charles Frith

You know Charles, when I was bored one day pre internet I phoned up a free advice line as a laugh to ask that question…

In the 60’s it was called a blow your mind job, it came from shortening that.


Comment by Rob Mortimer

Twenty minutes negotiating a frankly eye-watering phone menu and you end up with a recorded message announcing that the Fan special has been banned by health and safety and, anyway, all operatives are busy “attending to Mr. Frith’s cheeks.”

If this is your “new professionalism” in action, you can keep it.

Comment by John

hand jobs. blow jobs. fan specials. best fucking post campbells ever written. it all goes downhill from here

Comment by andy@cynic

and im proud of you mortimer but fucking ashamed of mr puritanical “np”. what the fuck is going on in adland when someone pretends they dont know jemma or blow jobs? this new generation are a bunch of lettuce loving pansies

Comment by andy@cynic

im assuming campbells quietness is because his lovely wife has repeatedly smashed him in the balls for noticing massage parlours and then stupidly advertising the fact on his stupid fucking blog. and he calls himself a planner

Comment by andy@cynic

I don’t suppose any of you fuck wits are about at this time of night?

Comment by The Kaiser

Boucher, talk to me. Talk to me and I will let you into the the secret skills of the shift key and capital letters.

Comment by The Kaiser

campbell fucking told you didnt he? the fucking little shit

Comment by andy@cynic

fuckwits? time of night? its the fucking daytime here you tosser and i can do capitals I JUST FUCKING CHOOSE NOT TOO. happy?

Comment by andy@cynic

Conforming is boring so screw the capital letter system.

Do I get my leaving bonus now?

Comment by Billy Whizz

wHaT tHe FuCk Is GoInG oN hErE?

Comment by Rob Mortimer

are you flirting with me mortimer? its working

Comment by andy@cynic


Comment by Marcus

Congratulations Marcus, you got Andy to use the SHIFT button … that’s more than all his teachers, family and colleagues managed.

You are a White Witch and I bow down to your skill!!!

Comment by Rob

Irony Andy, irony.

Comment by northern

Trouble is NP, you would say that now wouldn’t you, ha!

Comment by Rob

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