The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

yesterday, when discussing eating disorders, i found out that the stomach has a brain, of sorts. i’ve not had a chance to research anymore into that, but apparently that’s why there is such a thing as ‘comfort food’ – that it really is like meditating!

Mine is Heinz baked beans on not-too-well-toasted toast that has been slathered in Lurpak ! (the slightly salted one !!)Oh I can taste it now : the slightly tangy sweet sauce getting stuck on the corners of my mouth as it sails past the taste buds; the hard shell of the bean as I break through to the soft, creamy centre; the harsh effect of the toast on my tongue; the soggy centre part of the toast that has the butter and tomato sauce melted into it; the joy of wiping the toast crust that is still in shape around the plate to get up the last few beans; and the best bit – licking the plate clean at the end ! OH YEAH BABY !

you all just have 1 food? jesus – i have a whole bunch – depending on the weather, the place, the time of day and the time of the month! no wonder i’m chunky! ha! although i have to say, i well-made espresso is sure to eclipse all, no matter what.

Evidence #1: Phalic shaped sausage.

Evidence #2: “Overwhelming my mouth”

Evidence #3: “Pushes my tongue while scratches my palate in a tug of war between hunger and passion”

Evidence #4: “I push it down my throat”

Do you have any idea how all this sounds?

I said I didn’t want any rude answers and yet you’ve just described the sort of thing that would make Barbara Cartland blush. And given you make the sausage sound the ‘male’ between you two, it would appear that whilst SF made me a ‘hippy’, it turned you gay.

Congratulations on using capital letters – I know how big a deal that is for you – but an extra credit goes for the courage you showed by coming out the closet and admitting you’re a super gay sausage sucker. I tell you something, I am NEVER sharing a hotdog with you again. 🙂

That is quite possibly the worst image I’ve ever had in my mind. I feel mentally violated and if I could prove it to the Police, you’d be in prison now begging to not be Bubba’s girlfriend.

And I know that makes you happy [the affect you’ve had on my mind, not the prison situation] so stop bloody smiling you sicko!

Speak soon … and make sure you unzip your mask or I can’t hear you properly. 🙂

Thank you Sonal, you’ve just helped me decide what to have for lunch – and given I’m in India, it’ll be of a quality, not experienced since I was last in Nottingham 🙂

Sausage and bacon sandwich on a Saturday morning. I’ll have just cycled a 10 mile round trip to the butchers to pick up the the best cumberland sausages you could possibly imagine, and their own dry cured bacon.
On the way back I’ll have stopped for the paper and picked up bread from the bakery in my village.
I’m home knackered, and I put the sausages in the oven and get showered.
When the sausages are nearly ready, the bacon gets grilled, the bread lightly toasted and it all goes in a doorstep sandwich with masses of ketchup – accompanied by tea made properly and the Guardian.

Fish and chips

apparently that sludge is all i ate till the age of six and when i wouldnt get it, i would (embarassingly) beat my head against the wall and chant “haddi chow, haddi chow, haddi chow…” ad nauseum. it means bones and rice.

and now my mums emotionally blackmailed me into turning vegetarian.

open fire roasted porkbelly dripped in beer

This post has bored me already – I don’t think I’ll be continuing this series – but then maybe we can go into areas of personal humiliation, so we might give it another week or so.

Errrrrm, I could actually …

But I was just an innocent victim, I can blame my evil mate for that.

Still, the money bought my parents nice Christmas pressies that year so it wasn’t all bad!

Sanity… where art thou?

Cheese on toast with proper mature cheddar is up there.

Mr M, I gather you never had the honour of bribing the strong arm of the law?

basmati rice, ghee and sugar? you should try it. they feed it to small children in india and it is infinitely comforting

Any meal someone else pays for.

I bought Dodds lunch once.

And I didn’t even claim it on expenses. Or did I? Eitherway, it’ll never happen again – but more because he wouldn’t want to be seen dead with me than the fact I don’t think he is worth coughing up some extortionate London price for a chocolate pudding.

Anyway this hippy shit is over as of tomorrow because I’ve just written a ranty post. Hopefully that might please you all abit more than this lovey-dovey side of me, though I doubt it because no one cares about the issues I raise, they just jump to the comments – it’s the equivilent of “blog Playboy” where you just ignore the carefully written articles and go straight to the pictures … except you don’t even pretend you come here for the articles. Why do I bother?

Tomorrow is the “award” day – I wonder what will happen – however to make sure I don’t look too daft when I get on stage to take an award I shouldn’t be getting, I have a t-shirt saying “I am the other Robert Campbell” so hopefully I won’t look too pathetic when they say, “YOU’RE NOT THE ROBERT CAMPBELL WE MEANT!!!!”

And yes Andy, I did get your ‘pressie’, very funny … expect a similar token of love coming your direction very soon!

rajma chawal which is a delish Indian dish – beans in a spicy tomato curry w rice. Childhood fave. Happy memories!!

That’s the thing I like about you lot, you can talk about life as opposed to only talking about ads – and that’s quite important given in the big scheme ads are fucking nothing … though if you do it right, it can make a difference but it needs more than a television spot to do that, something quite alot of the oh-so-cool London crowd forget or choose to ignore to keep their delusion of importance alive.

Shit, I’m talking about ads in a post that’s supposed to talk about life – I’m one of those London knobs … so I’m off to wash my mouth out with soap, which hopefully will wash my mouth out of the most spicy lamb kebab I’ve ever tasted.

[No George, I’m still Delhi-Belly free. Bad luck!]

Like Paul Feldwich said, if you are not effective, at least be entertaining..nice spin hé 😉

Like I said.

Been there done that Nick … but there’s a vaccancy, Pete’s off and he swears it has little to do with the Microsoft debacle. 🙂

Be lovey dovey.
Be bad and ranty.
We’ll come here anway.

With the award you should fire up the confusion. Wear a cheap suit and smile, bring two blonde chicks and give real estate brochures to everyone.

http://www.robcampbell.com/

oh fuck this post is some horrid love in. stop it its making me fucking sick. and is kajal saying her india md looks like her or his name looks like hers. i fucking hope its the former or im not going to want to meet her. then maybe it means ill want to meet the india md who the fuck knows.

billy isnt replacing pete. petes a fucking planner and as much of a nightmare as he is billy is a creative and he is a creative who has worked under my tutorage so hes automatically worth a 1000 petes. am i making you feel welcome to our humble fucking abode pete? lol

the reason you have a job is because you work with campbell. international crime rates fell to the fucking floor when we opened our doors.

and i know rob looks fucking ancient but last time i looked he didnt look 50 or indian so maybe you meant your last boss. great career limiting move there youre already part of the cynic family

I heard food was the normal way to fill an opening at cynic.