I passed my driving test in 1987.
NINETEEN EIGHTY SEVEN.
And while there were 25 years where I basically didn’t drive – except when I popped back to England to see Mum from living in Asia – the reality is that while I got the odd parking ticket and got stopped by the odd breathalyser check, I only got 1 speeding ticket in all that time.
In 1991.
And while I bought cars in America and the UK, that single speeding ticket was maintained.
Then I moved to New Zealand.
Despite being here 6 months, I’ve managed to ‘achieve’ the following.
2 x parking tickets.
2 x breathalyser checks.
2 x speeding tickets.
1 x road tax sticker error.
And – last week – I received the ticket for the icing on the cake of my fucked-up, stupid day … where I was caught holding my mobile at a red traffic light while a Police Car was next to me with the police officer staring right at me while I was doing it. [See above]
And while I am guilty of ALL these things, the thing that surprises me is that I’m a much safer … much more conservative and considerate driver than I ever was as a teen.
Which highlights 3 things.
1. I obviously have my mothers Italian genes in my driving style.
2. I am even more amazed I passed my US driving test first time.
3. I now understand why there’s so many episodes of NZ Traffic Police show, Highway Cops.
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4. You’re rightly on a governement watch-list.
Comment by John September 9, 2021 @ 8:04 amFortunately I am on it AFTER they let me in, or I’d still be in Boris Britain. Ha.
Comment by Rob September 9, 2021 @ 8:36 amyou drive like a very fucking low rent senna. im more surprised you havent been banned from ever getting behind the wheel of a car.
Comment by andy@cynic September 9, 2021 @ 8:22 amI’m a bloody good driver thank you very much. Regardless that my son and colleagues hate going in a car with me.
Comment by Rob September 9, 2021 @ 8:37 amI think you are a good man Robert, but you drive like a lunatic. Maybe a safe lunatic, but definitely a lunatic.
Comment by George September 9, 2021 @ 10:10 ami fucking like the cop who did you.
Comment by andy@cynic September 9, 2021 @ 8:23 amHe looked soooooo young, which made it feel slightly surreal.
Comment by Rob September 9, 2021 @ 8:38 amEveryone looks young next to you Rob.
Comment by Bazza September 9, 2021 @ 8:52 amPromote him.
Comment by Bazza September 9, 2021 @ 8:53 amA bad Rob day is a win for humanity and hope.
Comment by DH September 9, 2021 @ 8:31 amWell I look forward to having some excellent days soon then to completely ruin yours, hahaha.
Comment by Rob September 9, 2021 @ 8:38 amAs if you’ve not had excellent days for 50+ years.
Comment by Bazza September 9, 2021 @ 8:52 amWell said Baz.
Comment by George September 9, 2021 @ 10:08 amWait till they ping you for parking the car facing the wrong direction…WTF.
Comment by Steve September 9, 2021 @ 11:06 amGo straight to jail. Do not collect $200.
Comment by Billy Whizz September 9, 2021 @ 11:07 amhe will. hell find a way to collect more than that from every fucker who sent him there.
Comment by andy@cynic September 9, 2021 @ 11:54 amYou’ve proven yourself worthy of becoming a Kiwi.So proud of your achievements Rob. Gosh! All on 6 months. That’s a record I’m guessing.
Comment by Satish September 14, 2021 @ 4:38 pmdoesnt being a crim give him lifetime residency in oz?
Comment by andy@cynic September 15, 2021 @ 7:42 am