The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Crime Doesn’t Pay …
September 9, 2021, 8:00 am
Filed under: Comment, Culture, New Zealand, Police

I passed my driving test in 1987.


And while there were 25 years where I basically didn’t drive – except when I popped back to England to see Mum from living in Asia – the reality is that while I got the odd parking ticket and got stopped by the odd breathalyser check, I only got 1 speeding ticket in all that time.

In 1991.

And while I bought cars in America and the UK, that single speeding ticket was maintained.

Then I moved to New Zealand.

Despite being here 6 months, I’ve managed to ‘achieve’ the following.

2 x parking tickets.

2 x breathalyser checks.

2 x speeding tickets.

1 x road tax sticker error.

And – last week – I received the ticket for the icing on the cake of my fucked-up, stupid day … where I was caught holding my mobile at a red traffic light while a Police Car was next to me with the police officer staring right at me while I was doing it. [See above]

And while I am guilty of ALL these things, the thing that surprises me is that I’m a much safer … much more conservative and considerate driver than I ever was as a teen.

Which highlights 3 things.

1. I obviously have my mothers Italian genes in my driving style.

2. I am even more amazed I passed my US driving test first time.

3. I now understand why there’s so many episodes of NZ Traffic Police show, Highway Cops.

18 Comments so far
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4. You’re rightly on a governement watch-list.

Comment by John

Fortunately I am on it AFTER they let me in, or I’d still be in Boris Britain. Ha.

Comment by Rob

you drive like a very fucking low rent senna. im more surprised you havent been banned from ever getting behind the wheel of a car.

Comment by andy@cynic

I’m a bloody good driver thank you very much. Regardless that my son and colleagues hate going in a car with me.

Comment by Rob

I think you are a good man Robert, but you drive like a lunatic. Maybe a safe lunatic, but definitely a lunatic.

Comment by George

i fucking like the cop who did you.

Comment by andy@cynic

He looked soooooo young, which made it feel slightly surreal.

Comment by Rob

Everyone looks young next to you Rob.

Comment by Bazza

Promote him.

Comment by Bazza

A bad Rob day is a win for humanity and hope.

Comment by DH

Well I look forward to having some excellent days soon then to completely ruin yours, hahaha.

Comment by Rob

As if you’ve not had excellent days for 50+ years.

Comment by Bazza

Well said Baz.

Comment by George

Wait till they ping you for parking the car facing the wrong direction…WTF.

Comment by Steve

Go straight to jail. Do not collect $200.

Comment by Billy Whizz

he will. hell find a way to collect more than that from every fucker who sent him there.

Comment by andy@cynic

You’ve proven yourself worthy of becoming a Kiwi.So proud of your achievements Rob. Gosh! All on 6 months. That’s a record I’m guessing.

Comment by Satish

doesnt being a crim give him lifetime residency in oz?

Comment by andy@cynic

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