The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


This Is So Magic Harry Potter Would Wee His Pants …
October 12, 2020, 7:30 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Comment, Jill

It’s Monday.

You’ve had an OK weekend. Nothing brilliant, but not too crap either.

Maybe you watched the latest season of Britain/America/Australia Got Talent.

It was underwhelming wasn’t it?

The magicians were all crap for a start.

Contrived drama with little wow. Pathetic.

So maybe you decided to change the sheets on your bed.

It was a great idea until you have to change the cover on the duvet.

OH MY GOD … what a nightmare.

Struggle, frustration, sweat and swear words.

It felt like you’d just endured a wrestling match with an octopus and three marathon didn’t it?!

Well, don’t say this blog never gives you something useful, because what I’m about to do is change your life.

OK, my wife is.

[And I don’t mean in the Jillyism sense of the word]

And when I say ‘change your life’, I mean it in the sense of how you change your duvet cover.

I know, that doesn’t sound very exciting does it.

And when I tell you it won’t require any physical exertion, nor any ‘sticking-your-head-in-the-duvet-cover-to-try-and-get-the-corners-right’ and you can do it all in a matter of minutes … you start changing your mind don’t you?

Yes you do.

But there’s more.

Because I’m [read: Jill] going to show you a way to do it that will make you feel like you’re better than all the Magicians on Britain/America/Australia Got Talent put together EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU DO IT.

It is a technique that will get invited to parties.

You will get dates.

Probably promotions.

And I do this all for you. God I’m kind.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls … feast your eyes on bedlinen sorcery of the best kind.

You’re welcome.


18 Comments

What have I just seen?!

Comment by Bazza

Does Jill wish she could make you disappear so easily?

Comment by Bazza

Maybe she’s practicing for me to be the body in the duvet. A future Netflix crime documentary?

Comment by Rob

Also known as a feel good, family movie.

Comment by Bazza

Jill has just changed my life. Thank you Jill.

Comment by Mary Bryant

@Jill 👏 👏 👏

@Rob Was this your way of getting out of helping Jill?

Comment by Pete

That obvious?

Comment by Rob

Obviously.

Comment by Bazza

What Baz said.

Comment by Pete

Jill!!! You’re amazing!!!

Comment by Jemma King

This is the gift that will literally keep giving.

Comment by George

Now you know why I’m not going to buy you any birthday or Christmas presents ever again

Comment by Rob

My goodness Jill, this is incredible.

Comment by Lee Hill

Robert Campbell films other people doing smart things – a series coming to Netflix soon. Next episode – the guy staining the decking.

Comment by John

The 2nd coat of the deck. If I’m going to get someone to do something for me, I get them to do it right. #Management

Comment by Rob

Magnifique.

Comment by Katerina

still not managed to make you disappear has she campbell.

Comment by andy@cynic

Still trying.

Comment by DH




Comments are closed.