The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

I’m Saying Nothing …
December 16, 2008, 8:48 pm
Filed under: Comment

… but I bet Fred’s wife is saying quite alot.

Is it just me or does anyone else think this photo looks like one of those dodgy relationships?

You know the one … rich, old Western guy walks around with beautiful, young Asian girl – thinking he is the luckiest, happiest, most loved-up guy in the World – when in reality, she’s just playing a game of seduction in a bid to get cash out of the delusional ol’ fool.

Of course not every Western/Asian relationship is like this – but this photo reminds me of that sort of thing. Hell, I find it even more unnerving than the super Swedish gay sailor/waiter porn star pic … probably because of the way “Hugh Hefner/Bill Nighy/Barry Norman” is caressing Fred’s chest [there is definite love in that face] whilst our clever planning bloke is blowing on his fingers in a deeply disturbing way.

Thank god I’m leaving this country – I don’t know if I could look my good friend in the face ever again. 🙂

Anyway enough of all this, I have far more important things to do … and as soon as I can remember what they are, I’ll stop humiliating Freddie, ha!

Question: Does Fred Look Gay Today? Answer: Does Dolly Parton Sleep On Her Back?
December 16, 2008, 6:45 am
Filed under: Comment

Many moons ago, when Freddie still worked for me, he made a fatal error by turning up to work with his trousers so high, he was in danger of his belt strangling him. [See above pic]

Because I thought the World of him [and I still do], I thought a dose of tough love might help hum stop making any more fashion faux pas, so I asked you lot to decide whether Freddie looked gay – to which there was an overwhelming response in the ‘affirmative’.

Well just like people will forget the lessons of the current financial collapse in a few years, Freddie seems to have lost all sense of ‘clothing tact’ because in a moment of absolute stupidity [and yes, that is the right word] he decided to go to work dressed as a Swedish gay sailor/waiter pornstar.







And I don’t think it’s a coincidence that on your plate you have multiple pieces of meat … each about 6″ in length … that you probably enjoyed sliding slowly deep into your mouth.

Jesus, you’re a Dad of 3. Or at least you ‘claim’ to be!!!

Now Fred will probably try and claim it was the office Christmas party but rumour is it was his attempt to win the Swedish tourism account.

In that attire it seems he’ll bend over forwards for the business!

This is deeply disturbing … even more than the fact you love Toto … and whilst you might like to blame Facebook for showing you in all your ‘out-of-the-closet’ glory [which highlights how right my proposed proposition for Facebook would be] you only have yourself – and your depraved fashion sense – to blame.

Saying that I feel I should take some of the blame.

I should of seen the ‘high panting’ incident as a sign of what was to come, rather than simply regard it as an isolated moment of alarming judgement.

To his family and the people of Sweden I apologise.

Now is it just me or can anyone else hear a noise?

No, I don’t think it’s Fred trying to hide under his desk … oh I know what it is, it’s the sound of a million Vikings turning in their graves!

A[P]SOTW Housekeeping …
December 15, 2008, 8:00 am
Filed under: Advertising [Planning] School On The Web

After NP’s great ‘tea project’, it’s back to me and I have a rather weird assignment I’m thinking of giving you … however because of Christmas and the fact I am going to be moving country again soon … it’ll be done in Feb.

In the meantime, I trust you will follow advertising procedure and get stupidly pissed at every opportunity. Unless you’re like me and can achieve that simply by eating a load of Strepsils one after another.

Oh the shame …

Comments Off on A[P]SOTW Housekeeping …

Sticks And Stones …
December 15, 2008, 7:46 am
Filed under: Comment

This was going to be my last post for the year but something came up that kind of distracted me!

Go and check out

Click on ‘Adopt A Word’ … type in VAPPOUS then press ‘Find’.

When it comes up, put the cursor over the word to find out the definition.

Am I paranoid or is that taking the piss? OUT OF ME!!!





Actually I have a sneaky suspicion I know the answer to all those facts, but it’s still somewhat disconcerting. Or a massive honour. Yeah, that’s right … it’s a massive honour. Ahem, cough, cough.

Saying that, if I was Dodds I wouldn’t look up ‘Perv’ if I was him … he might just find he will never be able to set foot out his front door again 😉

[Thanks to Freddie for bringing this to my attention. And to the 3 people I think have a lot to answer for, I suggest you run … run as fast as your little/ancient/twiggyesque legs can carry you – even though I am abit impressed!]

Anger: Brought To You In Association With Sony Ericsson …
December 12, 2008, 6:33 am
Filed under: Comment

Photo: Steffe

Remember I bought a new SONY Ericsson a while back?

You’ll remember it broke within a few weeks and I had to buy a gay phone as a temporary replacement.

Well, while SE demonstrated some half decent customer service by getting me a new phone rather than simply repairing the buggered one – the same thing’s happened again.

So in less than 2 months … I’ve had two supposedly state-of-the-art, top range model phones fail.

A quick check on some blogs shows I’m not the only person who is experiencing this problem which indicates to me that in their rush to capitalise on the Christmas rush, they’ve let substandard processes/parts get through … which means their short term sales could result in long term losses.

I came back to SONY Ericsson because I preferred their phones interms of style and navigation … but if you’re taking your mobile back every few weeks to get fixed, then it’s unlikely even those attributes will be enough to keep a customer spending their hard earned cash with them.

Mind you, neither is having some spotty 18 year old ‘manager’ telling you that “he can’t offer you a solution as he’s only the service centre manager, not the sales manager and because I didn’t buy the phone directly from SONY Ericsson [I bought it from a retailer] it’s not their job to exchange it anyway”.

Listen kid … if you answer the phone or face the public, you represent the company so rather than giving me problems that are total and utter bullshit, find one of your valuable customers a fucking solution.

I’ve said it many times that when things go wrong, it’s a great chance for a brand to create real loyalty – but when you’re making substandard products and putting young kids in positions where they have no authority, then you’re pretty much putting yourself in a position where the only direction you can head is DOWN.

From all reports SONY Ericcson are in quite abit of trouble … maybe they should take a closer look at the US Car Industry and realise that ignorance isn’t bliss, it’s a stepping stone to bankruptcy.

If my replacement replacement phone fails – then god help SONY Ericsson.