The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

No subtety, not seduction, no grace – just [s]ad porn for the sexually immature with the shittest, most cliched ‘twist’ since Benny Hill circa 1974.

To steal from Bill Hicks [who hated advertising people so this will just feed his contempt] could whoever did this, please go and kill themselves.

I’d rather stick razor sharp shards of glass up my arse than use – let alone buy – this phone.

Seriously this type of thing makes me physically sick.

No, I’m not talking about the hotdog [though I’m sure that would have a similar effect] I’m talking about this kind of puerile, sexual-metaphor-laden, sorry excuse for an ad

Do they really think they’re being clever?

Do they really think this is the best way to sell a hotdog?

For fucks sake …

I bet the person behind it was a male.

Infact, I would bet the person behind it was some young Singaporean male whose only experience of sex has been when he’s alone in bed with only a sweaty sock for company.

And I find it somewhat ironic that the Singaporean Government would allow this piece of sexual-immaturity-shit to run in venues that attract the entire age spectrum of their population when then say words like “BUM” cannot be heard on television.

But then this is a country that used to have politicians publically state …

Photo: Straits Times Newspaper

Nice eh?

And let me tell you – as much as no one would say something like that in public again – there’s a hell of alot of people in the country who still feel that way, despite the fact the genius who built this country – Lee Kuan Yew – achieved much of it by exploring, borrowing, adapting and developing ideas that he learnt from his experiences visiting and working with other countries.

[So whereas Western prejudice tends to want people who DON’T come from their country out, many Singaporeans don’t want locals who’ve left to broaden their mind, experiences and talent, back]

I should point out that my anger behind this ad is not because of its pathetic sexual metaphor.

I think everyone knows I’m very much for freedom-of-speech and expression – so if someone really wants to do a piece-of-shit ad like the one above [or this], then good luck to them – my anger is that someone [and I’m talking agency / creative and client] thought this was the best way to flog some shitty hotdogs because not only does that undermine the value of the industry I work in/love, but it creates even more sexual typecasting in a country/region that is already adrift with gender stereotypes.

Yes I am very excited and happy about all that is – and about to – happen, but it’s still weird – especially when I see just how much shit I’ve amassed over the past few years and how it’s going to cost me a bloody fortune to ship everything over unless I actually start chucking some things out.

Putting all that aside – especially as I’m actually in HK at the moment and have to do all the ‘sorting’ when I’m back on Wednesday – what this means is that this will be my final week of regular blog posting for the next couple of months.

I know no one gives a shit – but by saying it, I can pretend I’m sort-of popular 🙂

By the way did you see what I did there?

Previously I’d talked about how I wasn’t going to write ANY blog post but and now I’m admitting there may be the odd one along the way.

Yes, I am obsessed.

How pathetic!

Anyway lets get onto this post shall we?

Oh hang on … just for the record, I’m going to be popping into Sydney in the first week of July for a few days … so if anyone who reads this rubbish wants to catch up, let me know – but I’m not exactly expecting to be inundated with offers, ha!

Right lets get back to the Human [Organ] Economy or as I like to call it, Organomics.

Photo: ABC News

Basically I watched a program a while back about poor people in India/China selling their organs to wealthy [but unhealthy] Westerners because the small amount of money they got, could have a disproportionate benefit on their families life.

The most tragic part was when a woman sold one of her kidneys [via some dodgy ‘organ transplant’ ‘company] to an American man and then found out a few weeks later that her remaining kidney was failing and she was basically going to die.

[As an aside, while the American paid US$20,000 for the kidney – the woman only received approx US$1000]

Anyway, a few days later I met someone who told me that in Singapore, organ donorship is based on an ‘opt out’ scheme – or in other words, unless you actively express your desire to NOT donate, your organs will automatically be given to someone who needs it when you die. [Which is a brilliant idea, excluding those who can’t for religious reasons]

So this got me thinking and I think I have an idea that could be interesting but I’d like your guys feedback/views just incase … 🙂

I should say that I know there are some major flaws in the concept [ie: is there ever an abundance of human organs needing donors and can they stay ‘alive’ for a certain period of time, to name but two] but hang in there because this is an important issue and if we can help, then it would be great.

OK, so the idea is that when someone dies in Singapore – and assuming the organs that have been harvested are not needed by any local patient – the Singapore Government makes its availability known on something that I’m calling the ‘Life List’.

Photo: Quan Nguyen

The ‘Life List’ is a website where people willing to pay for a ‘transplanted organ’ register their details so that when a human organ is made available, they can ‘buy’ [or bid] for it’s access.

[My worry with the ‘bid’ concept is that it could force ‘organ prices’ to go very high, whereas having ‘standard prices’ could aid in stopping the very real crime of organ theft – but that’s a different issue for now!]

Now I know this sounds pretty inhumane but this is where the idea comes in …

When someone buys the organ [and remember, there’s still the risk the body could reject it] the money that’s raised doesn’t go to the Singapore Government … nor to the family whose sad loss resulted in the organ being available … no, the money goes into a special fund that only invests in the poorest areas of India and China so that families located there won’t have to go to the terrible extent of selling one of their organs just to help their family survive.

In essence, when someone dies – the person isn’t just helping one person – he/she is potentially helping hundreds because whilst the organ will only go to one individual, the money ‘raised’ will be used to invest in all manner of things that can make life better for families, villages and communities.

I appreciate this might not work and that it is highly contentious – but if the Singapore Government did it [which I have to admit would be doubtful, even if it was feasible] you could argue that the Singaporean population are the most humane people on Earth!

So that’s it, we start a human organ stock market so that wealthy but ill Westerners can ‘buy’ hope for themselves and countless others [as long as no one in the ‘home country’ needs the organ first] and ensure no human has to ever resort to selling their life expectancy just so their kids can eat or learn.

Just as he was about to launch into another song, some wag in the audience screamed out …

“Play The Summer Of 69”

… to which Ryan went red in the face and declared he would not play another song till the guilty party was removed from the show.

Only problem is that when there’s 10,000 peopel in the audience [how the hell did he get that many???] it’s hard to find whose the ‘baddie’ so he walked off stage in a huff, only to return having had pleas from his manager and band.

Bloody gold even though the sensitive little flower had to go to therapy over it.

Maybe they should have trained for their live performances by visiting this blog because it seems the entire comments are basically an ‘ode to evil heckling’ – and I wouldn’t have it any other way.