The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

I’ve had some rather ‘interesting’ job titles in my time …

Sponge

Wanker [no, seriously]

… and as much as many people may think being called a ‘Planner’ is the most ridiculous of them all, a mate told me about this guy he met who had the most mentally brilliant job title ever.

S T R A T O V A T O R

That just reeks of Alpha male doesn’t it.

You can almost imagine Arnie bursting into a boardroom and saying,

“You have disappointed the Stratovator, I must now teach you a lesson you will never forget otherwise – I’ll be baaaaaack”

Anyway, as even the thickest kid in a Nottingham school can work out, this guy is obviously trying to say he is a ‘strategy innovator’ … however in my experience, just like people who say they’re CRAZZZZZY and then turn out to be accountants, I have a feeling this guy should actually be called a ‘TWATEGIST’ however regardless of that, I think STRATOVATING is the future and when you hear it being banded about in management books, remember where you heard it first.

I really encourage you to read what they do/think/say because it’s great stuff and once you’ve done that, go out and tell everyone [including your clients] because it’s genius, especially their bloody forest!

If no one has, I’ll put in my 2-pennies worth once I’ve finished it – though personally I’d LOVE to hear Charles view given he is a man who is ‘living’ China rather than just living in China.

Yes I know this is all very sickly and lovely – but as much as I am a cynical little fuck where adland and corporations are concerned – in life I’m quite the sentimentalist.

Anyway before you all start throwing up [including me] lets get on with the story …

A baby hippo, who survived tsunami waves on the Kenyan coast, has formed a strong bond with a giant male century-old tortoise.

The hippopotamus – nicknamed Owen and weighing about 300 kilograms – was swept down Sabaki River into the Indian Ocean then forced back to shore when tsunami waves struck the Kenyan coast on December 26, before wildlife rangers rescued him.

“It is incredible. A-less-than-a-year-old hippo has adopted a male tortoise, about a century old, and the tortoise seems to be very happy with being a mother”, ecologist Paula Kahumbu, who is in charge of Lafarge Park , told AFP.

“After it was swept away and lost its mother, the hippo was traumatized. It had to look for something to be a surrogate mother and fortunately it landed on the tortoise and established a strong bond.”

“They swim, eat and sleep together …” the ecologist added, “… the hippo follows the tortoise exactly the way it followed its mother.”

“If somebody approaches the tortoise, the hippo becomes aggressive as if protecting its biological mother.”