The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]


The LG Secret Mobile Phone: For The Discerning Stalker, Sexual Psychopath &/Or Nympho Exhibitionist …
June 24, 2008, 7:01 am
Filed under: Comment

In just 100 seconds, you get to see all that is wrong with adland, the LG brand and too many men.

No subtety, not seduction, no grace – just [s]ad porn for the sexually immature with the shittest, most cliched ‘twist’ since Benny Hill circa 1974.

To steal from Bill Hicks [who hated advertising people so this will just feed his contempt] could whoever did this, please go and kill themselves.

I’d rather stick razor sharp shards of glass up my arse than use – let alone buy – this phone.

For more ‘adland can’t be getting laid much if they think this is seductive’, click here.


28 Comments so far
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youd rather shove glass up your hairy date than have this phone? you kinky fuck. dont believe you, youre a man who gets a fucking hard on when you use a calculator.

i didnt see this ad amongst the metal in cannes. wonder why? it could be because its fucking crap.

this isnt bbh is it? surely fucking not. if its hegartys gang they need to send him to a place where they feed him liquidized food fucking immediately.

at least lg are being consistent, everything they do is nicely shot but shit, just like theyre fucking products.

i like the hate campbell and for once the fucker who is in your sights deserves it.

Comment by andy@cynic

oh.my.god. that just makes me wanna go and fuck the next guy i see with an LG phone.

Comment by lauren

Lauren is joking Andy, its called sarcasm πŸ™‚

What a terrible, terrible ad, it’s so bad that I cant actually find the words to describe it.

I doubt BBH were behind it though, it looks more like an LG monstrosity from Asia (sorry Robert but you know what I mean)

I think Andy’s comment about “style over substance” is very true, it’s like they want to be like Apple but haven’t realised people want functionality to go with their looks.

Comment by Pete

i dont need an lg piece of shit for lauren to want me so fuck you pete and your beige sexual magnetism πŸ™‚

Comment by andy@cynic

That’s me Andy, the Volvo of sexual magnetism πŸ™‚

Comment by Pete

honesty is the best fucking policy pete

wheres campbell? its no fun insulting the fucker if hes not here to humiliate himself. come on, come and take it like a man you fucking big girl

Comment by andy@cynic

man, that is soooo bad.
possibly one of the worst ads I’ve ever seen and I read the Aussie version of Campaign Brief!

Comment by Age

Bugger. I can’t see it using proxy servers here!

Comment by Charles Frith

I doubt BBH had anything to do with this. I hope they didn’t. It’s the worst ad I’ve seen in a long time. And I see a lot of shite on TV here. I wonder how LG see the person they want as their target audience for this phone? Pretty one dimensional I would have thought not to mention primitive. But totally devoid of subtlety, this won’t even resonate with the Neanderthal mind they seem to be looking at. It’s humiliating. Where is this running ROb?

Comment by fredrik sarnblad

communism has its benefits chaz, its fucking shit

Comment by andy@cynic

bet it goes down a fucking storm with aussie “blokes”. or texans πŸ™‚

Comment by andy@cynic

andy, stop it. i’d like to believe that the male population over here are not as fucked-up as they appear to be. otherwise i’m going to be single for all eternity.

Comment by lauren

two words. russell crowe.

Comment by andy@cynic

four words: he’s from new zealand.

Comment by lauren

ooooh Lauren, BANG!

Comment by Age

no world famous fucker comes from oz, at least no one with any modicum of fucking cred or breath still in their fucking lungs so youre even more screwed than you first thought lauren unless you fancy your chances on reforming shane warne

even fucking age is an iti

no wonder all the aussie chicks leave the place looking for a “foreign bloke” but it could be so they have a place to stay when they go backpacking.

are you listening campbell? πŸ™‚

Comment by andy@cynic

Yes I’m hearing you Andy – however as I wrote in a post a while back about people’s ability to hold conversations – I’m not actually listening.

And Lauren, as much as Russell Crowe is a Kiwi, it’s funny he suddenly becomes an Aussie the moment he wins an Oscar πŸ™‚

Comment by Rob

and back again when he chucks a phone tanty πŸ™‚

funnily enough, russ and i are almost related, kinda (long story). and he’s a major souths supporter, so i have to cut him some slack. it’s the rules. but if he represents a typical aussie male, we’re all doomed.

Comment by lauren

Guy Pearce is Australian.

But that doesn’t excuse this ad.

Comment by northern

Careful Northern [NP] – your agency network flogged that Scarlet TV bollocks to the ‘desperate-for-fame’ Koreans πŸ™‚

Seriously, how can BBH fail when the base for LG ads is so low that you can hear the scraping on the bottom of the barrel.

And we’re not all doomed Lauren, it’s just Australian women πŸ™‚

[PS: Come on, let us in on the family connection – though if I were you, I’d of kept it deadly quiet, it’s like admitting your Dad once was caught shagging a sheep. Or owning a Skoda!]

Comment by Rob

my dad was once caught shagging a sheep – that’s why i’m such a baaaaad ass.

*shakes head* i’m going home.

Comment by lauren

Oh ye of no visionary qualities! This is multi layered, multi purpose, advertising of the future..think about it:

they can sell it to the right wing nuts in USA as an ad for how to explore carnal feeling without having sex;

they can sell it to the anti smoing lobby, telling the kids they won’t get laid;

the smoke detector sales could be boosted

it’s a story line in at least a dozen porn movies

They have figured out how to recycle advertising crap. Did you know they also invented the internet as well?

I am telling you guys..it’s so far ahead of it’s time in two years we will all bow down to the greatness that is this ad !! Who did this ad, so I can send my resume and beg to work for free just so I can tell my unborn one how I took part in saving the planet.

Comment by niko

Niko: Stop having so many hash cookies!

Comment by Rob

Or move to Korea πŸ™‚

Comment by Rob

Well at least you avoided the Skoda ignimony Lauren.

Comment by john

And yes that is the name of their new hatchback model.

Comment by john

Korea’s won’t have me. They say the balkans are bad for PR (we cause to many beefs; get it…beefs..boom tish).

Back to step 1…My name is Niko and I am an (blank)

Comment by niko

it would be more fucking embarrassing being seen coming out of campbells bedroom than a sheep or a skoda or a sheep in a fucking skoda.

jill deserves the victoria cross for selflessly saving many a womans soul and dignity.

im bored shitless

Comment by andy@cynic




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