The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

OK, so the standard of room is waaaaaaaay better than the crappy Ritz Carlton I stayed in last week [the bathroom is quite possibly bigger than my entire bloody house] … but the standard of burger is nothing short of appalling.

Very disappointing and a real deal-breaker for me.

Do you remember the singer Sophie B. Hawkins?  She had a couple of hits in the ’90’s …  but I can’t remember for the life of me what they were.

She wasn’t very good at her peak but the poor thing must be really crap now given she won a court case against a guy selling promotional copies [via eBay] of her soon-to-be-released album and only got awarded US$346!!!

Three Hundred and Forty Six Bucks … that wouldn’t even cover the cost of a stereo to play the rubbish on!!!

Poor thing, talk about a reality check on the state of your career, the judge might as well of said, “Sophie, you’re a nobody, go and die under a rock!!!”

This got me thinking … when do you give up on a dream? 

When do you realise or accept ‘it’s not going to happen‘?

Having religiously watched the wonderfully awful ‘American Idol’, I am continually amazed by the arrogance of some of the entrants … so many are absolutely crap and yet believe they are amazing … what drives this? 

What do they call upon to keep their dream alive?  What are they chasing … the fame, the money, the desire to fulfill their dream?

What is obvious is that fame used to be the end product of doing something worthy or great, and now, for many people, it is the actual goal … hence the incredible growth of reality TV shows like BIG BROTHER, which may be many things but certainly not ‘reality’!

Is ‘normal life’ so bad these days?   Why do we crave a life ‘style’ rather than a life?   Why aren’t we happy with our ‘lot’ in life?  What has changed this and do you think it is going to get better or worse?

I recently watched a documentary on the UK / US schooling system and was reminded how much pressure is put on young kids to ‘achieve’ – especially the ones who are academically brighter than the average.

What really grabbed me was how they were being sold this dream that education equated to job and life satisfaction – which is sadly not always true.

Then this got me thinking about the drug consumption explosion … and if you remove things like distribution, price decline and ‘social status’ … I can’t help but feel many of the people who embrace it are the ones who were sold a ‘better life’ [by teachers etc] before growing up and finding they’re actually living a painfully average life – thus drugs help them hide/escape/forget the situation they find themselves in.

Of course I could be totally wrong … and there’s a damn site more reasons than just this … but as much as underselling life and opportunities to the young is wrong, so is overselling it – though what the ‘line’ is between the two, I don’t know.

If there are any parents who read this blog, I’d love to hear your comments … especially if you think the Government / Education system is inadvertently pushing people to drugs?

Part of me is impressed with their evilness, part of me is scared to death. 

Any examples you lot would like to add?

“Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig.”  

“I would not allow this employee to breed.”  

“This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won’t be.” 

“Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.” 

“When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.” 

“This young lady has delusions of adequacy.” 

“He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.” 

“This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.” 

“This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts the better.” 

“Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.” 

“A gross ignoramus – 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.” 

“He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.” 

“I would like to go hunting with him sometime.” 

“He’s been working with glue too much.” 

“He would argue with a signpost.” 

“He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.” 

“When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.” 

“If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.” 

“A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.” 

“A prime candidate for natural de-selection.” 

“Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.” 

“Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.” 

“He’s got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it.” 

“If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.” 

“If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.” 

“If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.” 

“It’s hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.” 

“One neuron short of a synapse.” 

“Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.” 

“Takes him 2 hours to watch 60-minutes.” 

“The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.”

So you live in Asia and want to start a consumer technology company.

You’ve got the hard part sorted – making nice, innovative products that perform well and don’t cost a fortune – all you need now is a cool brand name to ensure global domination is yours.

After having a look round to see what brands are popular, you realise one company in particular is doing well … APPLE.

Apple?

Yes, you can see why it is liked … afterall the name conjures up things like freshness, cleanliness, temptation, simplicity, memorability, variety … all attributes you would like for your brand.

So off you go and register your new company name and launch to great fanfare what you believe is the coolest electronics company in the World …

Lemon!

LEMON!!!

The poor, poor bastards – they just have no idea do they …

And here is the point, cultural understanding and relevance is absolutely critical if you wish to expand into different markets/audiences and if you arrogantly ignore it [as most companies do – despite what they may say], you can end up making a World-Class-Fuck-Up like these guys – even if your product that is truly great.

Rule to planners working in multiple markets/regions … know your market, know the cultures within that market, know the coloquilisms used within the cultures of that market or risk being haunted forever!

This is part of a massive – and I mean MASSIVE – roadshow by MAC Cosmetics in Singapore for their tie-in with Barbie.

Now I can see why Mattel [Barbie’s owners] would be happy with all this … but why would a cosmetic company actively promote women to look like the famous plastic, mindless bimbo? 

Yeah … yeah … so people say Barbie was the original ‘girl-power’ icon – but look at that big photo on the side of the roadshow building, they’re hardly demonstrating oodles of intelligence are they?

I wouldn’t mind, but a few years ago MAC called our strategy [based around the idea of  ‘Helps Hide Your Outer Ugliness’] “…ignorant, stupid and unbelievably misguided”.

Germaine Greer must be going stark, raving mad – I know I am, ha!