Filed under: Clients, Colenso, Colleagues, Doctor, Emotion, Eye, Family, Health, Metallica, Nurses
So this is going to be the last post for a while.
To be honest, I’m not entirely sure when they will start again – hopefully in a couple of weeks, as I have a bunch of shit to write to close the year out with.
However the reality is this is the first time since I started this blog, where there’s no pre-written posts whatsoever.
Zilch. Nada. Nothing.
Now I appreciate this must be the perfect Friday news for you, but for me it’s less positive because its driven by the fact I have my eye operation on the 12th and what happens after that, dictates a lot about how a lot of things in my life then turn out.
I’ve written a bunch about the issues and implications of the eye condition I have had to deal with this year and while I appreciate this post makes it all sound very dramatic, for me it is.
The good news is there’s some hope. Not masses, but some.
The other good news is whatever happens, at least we’ll know where we stand pretty quickly so I can start planning – or hopefully celebrating – within a day or two after the op. Well. I say that, but there’s 4 critical time periods of which one is seven bloody months away thanks to the optic nerve working in slow-mo, or something.
But the reality is I’m pretty nervous about it for a whole host of reasons.
One is because a lot is riding on it …
Two is you don’t get the chance to know when a week could change your life very often, and I do … which just adds to the anxiety I already am feeling.
And finally, the last time I was in a situation like this – that resulted in me writing a post like this – the result was my life turned to shit. At least for a bit.
Now the situation between then and now is very different, but it still has me feeling really unsettled however one thing that has really helped is the support I’ve received from all of my doctors and nurses, family, friends, team, colleagues, clients and – bizarrely – strangers on different platforms of social media.
I say ‘bizarrely’ because my experience of a lot of social media platforms these days is it’s full of horrible, judgemental, egotistical rude pricks … and yet, when I have talked about my situation, I’ve been met with nothing but compassion and kindness and I can tell you, not only did that shock me, it also has made a real difference to me.
That said, it has also revealed some people who haven’t been all I thought they were or would be.
Most have had their heart in the right place, they just lack awareness of when to shut-the-fuck-up, hahaha … but some.
Well, put it this way … it’s the equivalent of discovering someone you went to school with is a raging racist and after the shock, you just realise they’re a pretty ugly human fullstop.
But that’s the minority because – as I said – most have been amazing.
The thing is – and I get this may come as a surprise to some, given I’ve shared all manner of personal stuff on this blog over the past 2 decades – the reality is I never tend to share stuff like this, I tend to keep it to myself … at least until it’s all well and done. However this time was different – probably because the impact of it made it impossible to hide – so I’ve had the very unusual experience of not just feeling most people wanting to help, but liking it too.
Jesus, what does this say about me, hahaha.
On top of all this, I have is the Metallica boys coming to this part of the world for the first time in a very, very long time and I am supposed to be doing some stuff for that.
While no one is expecting me to do it – given the eye situation – I really want to.
My involvement with their tour work has always been basically zero – I’m simply their cat-litter tray for their other projects – however given the last time I saw them was in LA, back in September 2023, and all the times they’ve played where I’ve lived, I’ve found myself overseas … this is a chance for me to be part of something extra special given the time they’ve been away from NZ and the situation with my sight.
That said, they have played a role in my health that I can’t go into but will be eternally grateful for … so whatever happens, I am eternally grateful they are in my life and I will even make sure Lars has his fave tea when he comes round to check on me.
Maybe, Haha.
What this all adds up to is that I am going to be quiet for at least 2 weeks and we’ll see what happens after that.
It could be longer, it all depends on the op … but I am going to isolate myself from the world in that time.
Anyway, I really want to end this miserable bastard of a post on a bit of a positive, so to do that I’m going to leave you 2 things …
First, here’s a picture of me in a suit.
No, that’s not AI, it’s real.
I’m in a suit. A suit I bought. That cost me a bloody fortune.
Given I didn’t even wear a suit for my wedding or my parents funerals, this is a VERY big deal.
But if you thought that was the funniest part, wait a second … it gets better.
Because rather than this being undeniable proof the condition of my eye has made me lose my mind … the reality is I bought the suit for a very special dinner I was supposed to have with a very special person in London back in October. Except – as I wrote here – they only went and bloody moved it to 2026 didn’t they!!!
See, told you it got better. Or for me, worse.
OK, so that’s step one of my ‘mood lightening’ agenda.
Step two is something altogether different …
It’s a clip of one of the most wonderful performances I’ve watched in a very long time.
It features Stephen Wilson Jnr. singing the Ben E King classic, ‘Stand By Me’.
There’s so much to love about it, but performance aside, I have to say I love how the host looks increasingly bewildered as the song unfolds … as if he cannot fathom how this incredible majesty of sound is unfolding right in front of his eyes.
It’s a reminder that while anyone can sing a song, only a few can truly own a song – and they don’t do that through technical ability, but emotion.
Talking of emotion, I just want to say thank you all again. You’re ace and I hope I get to ‘see’ you all soon … literally and metaphorically.