Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Attitude & Aptitude, Complicity, Confidence, Conformity, Corporate Evil, Humanity, Love, Management
They say you get wiser when you’re older.
I’m not so sure of that.
You just get more efficient at doing the bits you know, over and over again.
The other stuff? Well that hides, waiting to make a grand entrance. To knock you off your feet or grapple you to the floor.
Sometimes you’re aware of what that thing is through the years spent trying to hide or run from it. But some can be a total surprise …triggered by an event or situation you didn’t even know was an event or situation. And then, seemingly without warning, you find yourself suddenly caught between the glaring headlights of others derision and judgement and the bright spotlight of your own despair and mortification.
We are all fucked up in our own little ways.
The failing is not in our inability to be perfect; it’s the energy we waste pretending we all are.
Someone I met recently admitted to me they were “fucked up” … and said it in a tone that suggested they truly feared the consequences of sharing their secret.
And while they didn’t go into detail regarding the burden they carry, I know some of its impact has been the complete rejection of things that made them feel good and alive. I know, it sounds counter-productive … it IS counter-productive … but when you face this level of pressure, the mind works in mysterious ways and you convince yourself you’re doing the right thing even though you are burning much of what could be good, down to the ground..
There are so many people who are in this situation.
Trying to pretend they’re OK while not dealing with the trauma they probably experienced at some point in their childhood and/or are experiencing right now in their adulthood. Often through – and because of – work.
The amount of young people I met in China recently who are literally exhausted is terrifying.
Sure there are a number of contextual elements that have contributed to it.
The first generation experiencing a slowed-down China economy.
The over-reliance on social media for both identity, community and belonging.
The lack of jobs but with the same high filial expectations.
They are all real reasons and the result is this generation of young, talented kids don’t know how to cope, mainly because they never were taught how to cope – both because they were brought up by parents who never had to deal with things like this as they were economically fortunate – either personally or because of the times – plus they weren’t exposed to technology that made the pressure to achieve even greater. Add to that a schooling system that is far more functionally orientated than emotional and you get this horrible, perfect storm.
Anyway, back to this person I met – who is not from China, but reflects the same mindset.
Since I met them, I’ve discovered just how deeply the impact of their situation has been on them and the people around them – and it has devastated me to be honest. They are a brilliant, talented individual who needs help but feels having that would invite failure into their life. Why? Because platforms like Linkedin tell them – thanks to all the bullshit ‘opinion leader’ pieces – careers and reputations are built on seamless, intellectual perfection, which is obviously bollocks but to young people out there, that is all they know.
Which is each and every one of us is complicit in the situations so many young professionals experience. Which is why if I could relive the moment I met then once again, I would reply with a much more articulate answer.
“We all are”.
I hope they read this post. I hope they reach out. Or I hope they let me reach them.
Look after our young … they’re going to run our future and if we want a good one, we need to give them good habits, good skills and a good understanding of emotion not just function.