The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Never Bet Against An Only Child …
November 6, 2023, 8:15 am
Filed under: A Bit Of Inspiration, Cunning, Freddie, Music, My Childhood, Queen

As some of you know, I tried to buy Freddie Mercury’s vintage Tiffany’s moustache comb at the recent Sotherby’s auction.

I really thought I had a chance …

He apparently bought it for £90 and the estimate was £600 … so I went in with what I would consider an obscene amount of cash.

Now of course, I appreciate there is a financial crisis going on, so doing anything like this is bordering on vulgarity.

However in my defence, I have been a lifelong fan of Queen [even though I thought the music they made post 1984 was almost universally pants] so this was never about making an ‘investment’, and more about feeling close to someone who has had such an impact on my life.

That said, when I saw this photo in The Guardian in the lead-up to the auction, I was shocked at how small the comb actually was.

I don’t know why … after all, it’s a bloody moustache comb and they hardly scream MASSIVE … and yet I was convinced it would be at least the size of a normal comb rather than the sort of thing you’d find in a Christmas Cracker.

But despite that, I pressed on and for a few days … I was leading the pack.

Oh I was so excited.

I was going to get it and then have it mounted in a beautiful, ornate frame and hang it up at home … forever smiling every time I passed it.

And I would have, had my bid not got smashed to smithereens by some lunatic who bid over £150,000. ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY GRAND!!!

And it is here, my only child spirit came to the fore.

You see, only children are not good at not getting what they want.

They may have to wait.
They may have to sacrifice other things.
But they will do their fucking damnest to get it.

Which is why the day I realised that to win the item, I would have to lose my house, my car, my savings and my marriage … I decided to take another tack.

Rather than cry at what I couldn’t have, I decided to spend hours on the internet, scouring antiques shops all around the world for an identical one.

And guess what … I found one.

In Cleveland, Ohio.

It’s that one in the photo above and the one below.

OK, it’s not Freddie’s … but it was 365+ times cheaper than his and I love it … hence the plaque I had made for it.

Yes, I know it’s still utterly ridiculous, but it’s not as ridiculous as Tiffany’s not releasing them again and making a fortune from idiots like me.

Which means – based on Girl Maths [which was Rob maths before Girl Maths was even a thing] – I’m a financial whizkid.

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