The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

Off To The Land Of The Rising Radiation …
June 15, 2011, 6:30 am
Filed under: Comment

By the time you read this, I’ll be half way to Japan.

Not only does that mean I could come back glowing green with radiation, but the even better news [for you] is that I won’t be writing any posts until I’m back next Monday!

However, between now and then, there are two very special birthdays happening.

One is today, where my lovely wife turns another year older and yet somehow still manages to look like she’s 25.


Anyway, as it’s her special day, she needs a special present, and that’s why I’m whisking her off to Japan.

The slightly less romantic news [or the good, depending on your perspective] is that the trip was planned ages ago because I’ll be spending 2 days in focus groups – so in reality, what Jill is actually getting for her birthday is a free fight to Osaka, a nice hotel and 48 hours to keep herself occupied.

Hey, it’s the thought that counts isn’t it?

So to my darling wife, happy birthday and I’ll try and make it less shit than we both know it probably will be.

The other person whose birthday it will be while I’m away, is my beloved best mate Paul.

Tomorrow the bugger turns 41 and whereas last year I was with him and did the full page newspaper ad thing, this year I won’t be and he’s getting fuck all.


So here’s to birthdays and blog free days. May they be filled with fun, laughter and peace and bloody quiet.


36 Comments so far
Leave a comment

so let me get this fucking straight.

for your too hot for you wifes birthday, you buy her a fucking robot vacuum cleaner and then take her to japan but leave her so you can attend some fucking focus group shit. is that right?

if she doesnt fucking divorce you or at least smash you in the fucking face thats the best jillyism shit ive ever heard. ex #1 kicked me to the fucking curb for not passing her the fucking jam at breakfast but to be fair to her, i was making her late to see the banker she was fucking on the side.

happy birthday jill. make the fucker bleed.
happy birthday big cock paul. the best present he is given you is staying the fuck away from you.

Comment by andy@cynic

You forgot #1 was a total bitch who we all warned you about … which is – weirdly enough – almost the identical advice you gave Jill about me. Amazing how neither of you listened till it was too late. Ha.

Comment by Rob

if your insights had been a bit more fucking reliable before i met parasite 1, maybe id have listened a bit more fucking carefully to what you were saying.

your years of planner bollocks lulled me into a false sense of security and ended up costing me a fucking fortune in cash and emotions.

thats another way youve fucking ripped me off. i tell you what campbell, youre fucking good. evil as shit. but fucking good.

Comment by andy@cynic

Happy birthday saint Jill and lucky Paul.

Comment by DH

What if the reason Jill is married to Rob is because she was a sinner and this is her penance?

Comment by Billy Whizz

youre on fucking fire with the insight shit today billy.

Comment by andy@cynic

Anyone else notice Rob’s being a bastard to his wife but kind to Paul?

Wonder if Rob shares a closet with Tom Cruise or has one of his own.

Try and have a happy birthday Jill.

Comment by Billy Whizz

good spot billy but then the fucker has written a post about missing pauls horse dimensioned cock so this revefuckinglation has been in front of your face all along. campbell would call that insight, id call it not being a thick blind bastard.

sorry jill for turning your special day into a rob is gay newsflash.

Comment by andy@cynic

actually rob is gay and a male chauvinist bastard judging by the presents he got you. you were always 10000 times to good for the fucker. ditch him and take his cash and bollocks gadget collection with you.

Comment by andy@cynic

hope youll feel a glow of hapiness today, jill. im sure therell be things to do to keep yourself in a good mood in osaka.

does your bestie read this blog, rob? anyway, happy birthday to paul as well.

horrible yet fitting picture btw. how apt im going through risk management survey crap tonight. the bigwits worry about brand and image. the risk they see is social media. id say its hilarious if it wouldnt be tragic

Comment by peggy

He stopped after the ‘penis’ incident. Or maybe it was the ‘I think he might be gay’ incident. But yeah, he’s certainly not a regular reader anymore. Which is in everyone’s best interests I think.

Comment by Rob

She’ll thank us in the end.

Comment by Billy Whizz

fuck. that comment was supposed to end up one rank higher

Comment by billy's thoughts

I didn’t write that. Sounds like the work of a client type brain.
Dodds or Peggy?

Comment by Billy Whizz

of course you didnt write that. its us – your unconscious thoughts. hello.

Comment by billy's thoughts

Happy birthday to Jill and Paul.
Sorry your special day has been hijacked by the juvenile crew.

Comment by George

its the only fucking reason people come here.

Comment by andy@cynic

Jill did not get a robot vacuum cleaner for her birthday.

I am not homosexual, nor do I reside in a closet of any kind.

I did write about Paul’s penis and accept I will never live it down.

Comment by Rob

just a vacuum cleaner then? figures, the only way youd spring for an expensive robot fucker is if you were buying it for yourself.

treat her fucking well today campbell. its the very, very, very fucking least she deserves.

Comment by andy@cynic

I am too scared to say anything except wish Jill and Paul happy birthdays.

Comment by Pete

you grade a fucking wimp.

Comment by andy@cynic

A “… free fight to Osaka.” sounds like she’s already had
an eyeful of uncle Andy’s shite.
Sounds like she deserves better.
Last few blogs were wonderful.

Comment by Ciaran McCabe

Happy birthday Jill.
Happy birthday Paul.

Disappointed Robert didn’t buy the iVac as presents.

Comment by Bazza

first age turns up. then niko makes a fucking appearance and now ciaran and bazza return to the roost. enjoyed your blog break you lazy fucks? good, now get back here and give campbell shit.

Comment by andy@cynic

Best wishes for the day Jill.

Comment by Lee Hill

happy birthday boys and girls! hope you have a lovely day. and it’s great to see some of the old crew back.

and bazza, don’t you be joking about that iVac…

Comment by lauren

Sending lots of birthday hugs.

Jemma xo

Comment by Jemma King

Happy birthday Jill and Paul.

Just a bit sad I could not see the smashing Rob got when he (half) jokingly suggested Jil bake her own birthday cake, on the count of her making the most of her (quite awesome) pastry talents… maybe next year

And if you did not say it, you thought it know you did..

Comment by niko

Just to clarify – are you watching focus groups or are you in one?
If it’s the former, I thought WK evaded focus like Tom Cruise evades question about sexual orientation

Comment by northern

its all gone to shit since campbell joined.

Comment by andy@cynic

Put it this way, I don’t eat fish but I’ll still go to restaurants that serve it to see how other people do it.

Is that the shittest answer you’ve ever heard?

Comment by Rob

Osaka? No she went of her own accord.

I’m here all week. Fortunately you’re not.

Comment by john

with bollocks like that you should both fuck off.

Comment by andy@cynic

I have a headache. Good afternoon.

Comment by Marcus

better be booze inflicted.

oi campbell, she divorced you yet?

Comment by andy@cynic

back from ruining your wifes hopes and fucking dreams yet campbell?

Comment by andy@cynic

Leave a Reply