The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

The China thing is proving to be particularly interesting – because whilst I still have a shitload of pics to wade through – the initial findings are that those of you who don’t live in China and have never visited the place are sending photos that are obviously heavily influenced by the picture painted by international media [either unsophisticated or controlling] whereas those who are based here focus on elements that either frustrate or amaze them.

In short, those outside the country have a bigger picture view than those in the place.

I suppose I shouldn’t be so amazed at that, but I am … but as I said, it’s still early days, and what I’ve said is a very general overview because there are some exceptions to what I’ve just described and there’s still a few hundred pics for me to go through.

I’m only be there for 48-72 hours but it will be worth it.

I’m not going for her birthday – she turns an amazing 78 on Wednesday – I’m going because I love her and miss her and want to see her.

I often wonder what it’s like for her when I walk in the door.

Not because I’m a pain-in-the-ass [which I know I can be at times] but because I’m the boy she gave birth to 40 years ago who is now married, works in a career she doesn’t understand and lives in China.

I wonder how quick time has passed for her …

I wonder if she feels like it was only yesterday that she gave birth to me.

Took me to my first day at school.

Watched me ride my first bike.

Found out I’d gone to town all by myself.

Encouraged me to play the guitar.

Learnt I’d failed all my school exams [I was going to be a rockstar, who needed exam results when you’re going to be a rockstar?] then passed them. [I wasn’t going to be a rockstar, I needed some exam results pretty damn quick!]

I love my Mum, my wife, my cat and my friends – well, a couple of them anyway – in ways that I find almost impossible to describe so I just can’t imagine how it must feel when you are with someone you actually helped create, nurture and educate.

And then how does it feel when you realise the person who once relied on you for everything ends up developing their own life, their own experiences and their own views?

Does it feel good or does it make you feel less and less important or relevant?

Mum being Mum, I’m sure she feels incredibly happy and proud because all she ever wanted for me was to be happy and healthy and fulfilled … and that’s what I am … but I can’t quite comprehend how she must feel when she sees her son and a bunch of his friends – friends she has known for as long as they have been alive – come bounding back into her life like it was yesterday.

I know she loves how the house fills with laughter.

I know she likes asking me about my life.

I know she enjoys just having me near.

But I don’t know what that really feels like. For her at least.