The Musings Of An Opinionated Sod [Help Me Grow!]

You Can Tell Smirnoff Is Russian Because Their Packaging Is Crass, Blatant And Lacking In Any Form Of Charm.

Hell, I’ve seen 60 year old, plastic-surgery ‘tweaked’, Versace wearing, Bvlgari dripping, leather skinned woman in L.A. who are more ‘pure’ than that packaging.

Maybe Smirnoff need to take some lessons from Absolut – because even when they purposefully do ‘bling’ – they still pull it off with style and flair.

Not only does this demonstrate the importance of packaging in the purchase decision it also shows how clever Absolut were/are, because not only have they built a clear and concise brand identity, but they have ensured it is [physically] attractive to the environments that [1] will give them sales distribution/success as well as [2] enhances/cements the brands reputation with a particular consumer set.

That’s better comms thinking than most media shops could ever hope to achieve.

Too many people regard design as ‘eye candy’ – but in the right hands, it can overcome fundamental business problems – and whilst you may see this as a post-rationalised strategy [and it probably is] when you compare it to the mess that is Smirnoff, you can’t help but feel the guys behind Absolut are far more ‘aware’ of what will make them successful than their Diageo counterparts.

Now if only their bloody ad campaigns were as good …

The Betty Ford Clinic For Frustrated Brains?

The Purple List is a new online ‘home’ for marketing/comms professionals who believe [or like to believe] they trade in ‘highest common denominator’ thinking, so they can connect, chat and maybe work together.

Of course my wife calls it “Delusional Elitism At It’s Worst” … but then she makes the Salvation Army look like a bunch of capitalist pigs … so to find out more, click here.

I should point out I cannot promise this won’t all turn out to be some kinda Gmail scam – where the air of exclusivity [hmmmmn, maybe Jill is right] is replaced with the reality that all and sundry hang out there – hell, I’m already a member so it’s only a matter of time before the whole of DaVinci treat it like their social club – so enter at your own risk!

Want To Be Part Of The Agency Of The Future?

No I’m not talking about joining Crispin’s … Mother … WK … Droga5 … cynic … or any host of other hot shops … I’m talking about an opportunity that is even bigger, an opportunity to be part of a GLOBAL RENAISSANCE.

Yes – we’re talking big. Bigger than big. SUPERFUCKINGMASSIVE!

Now the thing is, there’s no point being part of ‘a global renaissance’ if the people behind it haven’t got some solid business foundations because otherwise you’ll be here one day – gone the next – which is why the really brilliant news is that the organisation behind this new kind of agency is those masters of durability, WPP.

Sure Crispins, Mother, WK and the like might do stuff that gets all the press – but where were they 30 years ago? 

I’ll tell you … nowhere … not like a WPP agency.

When you talk about companies like O&M, JWT, Y&R and GREY … you are talking about firms that have stood the test of time … taken brands from the ice age – like Ford, Colgate, Unilever and P&G – and kept them thriving into the global warming age.

We’re talking about organisations who will still be their flogging cars, toothpaste, washing powder and shampoo long after we’re dead and buried – which is a damn site better than working on one of those fly-by-night buggers like NIKE, Apple or – hahaha – Google.

What WPP is offering is a job for life.

In this World of uncertainty and change – I’m sure you’ll agree that a life sentence of employment fuckin’ rocks!

OK … OK … so some people will get to do some crazy shit at one of those little ‘independents’ – but when they’re struggling to pay their mortgage in 10 years time, who’ll be laughing then?

YOU WILL.

YOU WILL BE THE ONE WHO IS LAUGHING.

YOU WILL BE THE ONE LAUGHING LONG AND HARD.

And it gets better …

Not only have you got the chance to gain lifelong employment at the newest, biggest, baddest agency in town … but they are offering an environment that bypasses all those annoying things that you get at ‘normal’ agencies.

Creative frustrations?

Not here.

Pitching?

No need.

Media Channel awareness?

Pah!

You see this super-group of adland will only service one client – so time consuming rubbish like pitching won’t be needed.

And this client doesn’t bother about all that poncy shit like creativity – it’s brochures all the way – so your time can be spent on making things happen, not getting bogged down on the superfluous.

[To prove they mean what they say, they’ve created the most functional job recruitment ad in history [See Below] No fluff, just to the point, Finally, an ad agency who gets it]“

But who is this wonder-client who is offering you all these benefits”, I hear you ask.

Well it’s no other than fast moving computer giant, DELL!

Think Apple but without the annoying Steve Jobs or NIKE but not having to put up with the prima-dona sports stars.

This is a brand you can trust and feel proud of.  A brand that will become the P&G of computers. A brand that will be around even when your great, great, great, great grandchildren are snorting crack and living on Mars.   

And to prove how serious WPP are treating this client – apart from the fact they’re setting up a global network just for them – they’ve decided to call it [at least for now] DaVinci.

DAVINCI.

None of that wank like Naked, Trumpet, Brooklyn Brothers or Godsend … this is something serious, powerful, historical and awe-inspiring.

Seriously, what the fuck are you waiting for – there’s a whole bunch of jobs going but as you can imagine, they’ll be snapped up fast – so if you want to be part of the future [not to mention history] WPP/DaVinci want to hear from you NOW.

Do It: Because Mortgages Don’t Pay Themselves.

Where Is Frith?

I’ve called … emailed … written on his blog … nothing!

Has he had some bum-shaving accident or is he recovering from a beating he got at the hands of a jealous boyfriend?  [“Not the face, not the face” he cried!]

Whatever the reason, I hope he is alive and well and back real soon!

Are Apple Becoming Microsoft?

Whilst it can’t be denied this is a great marketing opportunity, I can’t help but think Apple have forgotten that it’s a very fine line between being seen as a brand with cred and a brand obsessed with greed.

Maybe their THINK DIFFERENT positioning should be rebadged PRETTY SIMILAR.

You’ve got a bigger challenge on your hands that you first thought eh Baz!

[Thanks to Marcus for the link]