Filed under: Crap Marketing Ideas From History!
First I slagged off Colgate, now it is the turn of Macleans.
Please try and picture the scene … we’re in some non-descript boardroom somewhere and inside, Macleans Toothpaste Marketing Department are sat with their advertising agency.
Client: “We need to sell more toothpaste but don’t have anything new to say!”
Agency: “Tough one – toothpaste does seem to have maximised it’s opportunities.”
Client: “Well we’ve got 3 stripes, which is more than everyone else … anything in that?”
Agency: “Not really, we’ve been doing for the last 20 years!”
Client: “Eureka … I’ve got it! Instead of calling it toothpaste, lets call it MOUTHPASTE!!!”
Agency: “OH MY GOD … BRILLIANT!!! We’re in the room with a genius!!!”
Client: “I can see it now, MOUTHPASTE becomes part of the vernacular and sales will go through the proverbial roof … I’ll be a hero!!!”
Agency: “I can see the ad now … lots of people, all from different backgrounds, smiling and saying forget Toothpaste, MACLEANS IS MOUTHPASTE!!!!”
Client: “Right, you work on the ad and I’ll go and clear some shelves for the awards that are about to come in.”
Agency: “Love your work Sir. Or should we call you, STAR!?”
CLIENT AND AGENCY Go Into Backslapping and mutual [false] affection OVERLOAD.
OK, so that scene might be fiction but the end product wasn’t – because on television screens all around the World, millions of people were subjected to an ad featuring happy, smiley people screaming out, “It’s not toothpaste, it’s mouthpaste”.
Didn’t they understand we could see through this bollocks from about 3000 paces?
Didn’t they realise we knew all they’d done was change their product description from toothpaste to mouthpaste?
Did they really think we were suddenly going to start viewing them as deeply relevant and important in our lives!?
WHAT FUCKING PLANET WERE THEY LIVING ON!!
What next? Renaming ‘Kentucky Fried Chicken’ … KFC and hoping no one notices?
Damn, they’ve done it.
OK, how about calling 2-minute noodles a convenient, quick, hot and tasty snack when we all know they are chemically made crap?
OH MY GOD … they’ve done that as well.
Where has the thinking gone in advertising … where has the common sense disappeared to … where is the real voice of the people in the communication?
If planners and their ad colleagues continue to let this sort of thing go on [or at least let this sort of thing go on without insisting on fundamental changes to the product] then it is no wonder we are in danger of becoming as extinct as the dinosaurs and we don’t have anyone else to blame but ourselves.
I need a lie-down, this whole thing has left a very nasty taste in my mouth. [Boom Tish!]
Filed under: Comment
So a while back, I highlighted how my local Starbucks had decided on a ‘Truth‘ policy where their food was concerned!
Well somehow they must of found out what I had done because today when I went in, I saw this moment of genius …
To be honest, I don’t think the ‘puff’ they are referring to is nearly as bad as the supposedly ‘less ugly’ one …
… but full marks to them for continuing the trend.
I personally can’t wait to see this philosophy adopted in other areas of their business – like their coffee sizes – which should go something like ‘BIG’, ‘BUCKET’ and ‘SWIMMING POOL’.
Being serious for a moment, I don’t know if Starbucks decided to create an ‘UGLIER CURRY PUFF’ [with chicken] for my benefit or not – but it certainly left a smile on my face which is surely one of the greatest things a brand can do for their customers.
Personally I believe a bit of innocent, mischievous fun can go a long, long way in building loyalty – hell, it is one of the reasons why Virgin is so loved [though it is part of the companies DNA, there is always method to their madness] – I just wish more companies didn’t feel so sick at the thought of demonstrating a sense of personality in how they interact with consumers, because it could make a massive difference to how they are perceived by society.
They probably think it is ‘unprofessional’ whereas I … a focus group of one … wants to spend abit more time with them.
[I should point out that when some companies do try to ‘let their hair down’ a little, they are obviously so petrified, they still come across badly – it’s just they move from bland, cold and soulless to stifled, embarrassing and out of date. Poor sods, ha!]
Filed under: Comment
The last time there was a blog ‘tagging’ thing, I embarrassed myself with this.
So when Ms Swear-a-lot … the very lovely Lauren … ‘tagged me’ for being a blog that makes her ‘think‘ [but think ‘what’, is the question I want to know, ha!] I decided I wasn’t going to be so bloody stupid again, and just follow the rules as laid out here.
I know this ‘tagging’ thing is fast becoming like those email chain letters you used to get when the internet was still a likkle baby, but as long as it doesn’t cost you any money and you’re not cursed to for not keeping it up – what’s the harm eh?
Now given she has already nominated a bunch of people I’d like to nominate … and I feel a bit crap to bother the poor sods I nominated last time [but I beg you to go and check them out ’cause they’re brill – that’s Fred, Hari, Mohamed, Sarah* and Age] … and everyone knows the ‘classics’ like Russell, Scamp and Mr Anti-Brainstorm [ha] … and I refuse to publicise companies/individuals who are paid to actually ‘think clever’ for a living [even though I am a cheap groupie on their sites] … and I am only allowed to name 5 [even though in reality, my ‘fave thinking blogs’ would number in the high 80’s] … I am going to celebrate the following people for being found in possession of a brain that makes me go hmmmmmmmmmmm [but not always in a good way, ha!]
Mr Marcus [especially when he writes from the heart, not the mad gene in his head!]
and last – but certainly not least – Ms Brenda
[Yes I know that is 7 but can we pretend I am dyslexic for now!]
So consider yourselves well and truly ‘tagged’ and thank you for being so generous with interesting, thought-provoking, stimulating views on life/love and advertising. [Plus the odd moment of total rubbish!]
* Especially as she has just started a brilliant new company and deserves wide exposure – which she has already, but maybe I can help add to a little bit!
Filed under: Comment
… my new ‘blog header’ was designed, drawn and art-directed by Jilly.
She’s far too talented to be with me, but her loss [of mind] is my gain [of happiness]